A Not So Story The Fourth Champion
by Captain Compass
Summary: Harry is suspicious that the Triwizard Tournament is being held at Hogwarts in his fourth year. Fearing another disastrous Halloween, Harry takes steps to prevent the unthinkable from occurring. Not a part of the of the Honestly Harry series. Follows canon until the choosing. Mostly crackfic.
1. Chapter 1

A Not So Story -x- The Fourth Champion is Chosen

It was Halloween night; the night the Champions names would be selected for the Triwizard Tournament. Even though the three of them arrived very early for supper, everybody else had the same idea. Ron, Harry and Hermione were relegated to some seats about as far away from the Goblet of Fire as was possible and still be in the Great Hall. Ginny waved to them from her place further forward but gave up her seat to come back and sit between Harry and Hermione.

The four of them sat and watch the other two schools as they ate their meal. The wizards from the Durmstrang Academy were still eating at the Slytherin table and Harry saw that Malfoy was still running his mouth on about how important his father was to the Minister of Magic. All of the wizards from northern Europe were very somber and serious fellows. They were a little quirky, however. They had met the Bloody Baron and were laughing at his jokes the night they arrived. A few minutes later Helena Ravenclaw, the Grey Lady, floated through the corridor and three of the younger boys had screamed shrilly and fainted. The rest ran away yelling for protection. Evidently the word at Durmstrang was that all female ghosts were vicious man-hungry creatures that nibbled on the more sensitive bits of the male anatomy. It was an enjoyable couple of weeks as witches and wizards from Hogwarts snuck up on those visitors and screamed "Boo" in their ears.

The girls from Beauxbatons, however, were a pleasure to look at. But they didn't say much other than the occasional giggle they issued as most wizards gawked at them openly and ran into walls and other solid obstructions. Harry seemed immune to their allure and some people, mainly the Slytherins, accused him of being a poof. They second time they had done that to him, Harry turned, grabbed Hermione firmly around the waist, bent her over backward, and snogged the living daylights out of her. The Slytherins had mumbled to themselves and went on their way.

Neither Harry nor Hermione noticed for some reason for three whole minutes. Harry had straightened the two of them back up and apologized to his friend. When she eventually got her eyes back in focus, Hermione said she understood the circumstances and apologies weren't needed.

Harry smiled. "Good then I won't feel bad about doing that again" he said as he leaned into Hermione. They were still a little dizzy when they arrived late for Charms class but both were smiling when Professor Flitwick took points from both of them. Ron hadn't discovered they were dating for all of three weeks. They went everywhere together and Harry never minded that Hermione wanted to bring Ginny Weasley with them. She was absolutely brilliant at glaring her brother Ron away from the couple. The fact that Hermione didn't mind if Ginny stole an occasional kiss from Harry didn't hurt Ginny's feelings at all.

Ginny was now pointing out that Colin Creevy was running around and taking pictures of the wizards and witches that had submitted their names to the cup. Harry nodded and hoped Collin would be content to take pictures of the tournament and the champions for the whole year. Ginny leaned a little into Harry and asked him if he had made any bets. Hermione expressed her disapproval of the gambling as she looked over the racing form her father kept sending her every week. Mr. Granger was convinced that being a witch meant that Hermione had some special gift that would help him at the race track. So far it hadn't worked out like he planned but he hadn't given up hope yet.

Ron finally made shushing motions to his three seatmates after dinner was finished. "I don't want to miss anything." Ron was very excited about seeing who was going to be picked from Hogwarts and which of the attractive girls would represent Beauxbatons. He was so full of hero worship for Viktor Krum however that he had gone against any sort of sense and laid a hefty bet with Fred and George that the famous seeker would be representing Durmstrang. Now he was anxiously waiting to see if he would win any money.

Harry and Hermione were nervous for an entirely different reason. It was October 31st; every previous Halloween at Hogwarts had resulted in life threatening moments for Harry. Even the first year when the walking pus pile of a Mountain Troll had cornered Hermione in a girl's loo. When it was announced at the beginning of the term that the Champion selection would be made on this holiday, Hermione had started researching the rules and terms of the tournament and Harry had owled Sirius for advice. The three of them had come up with an alternative that might spare Harry if the unthinkable happened. Harry hoped he wouldn't have to resort to the drastic measure. The Triwizard Tournament hadn't been held for a number of years because of the many deaths of the competitors.

The Goblet of Fire finally lit up and starting shaking and glowing like a demented Christmas tree. Hermione ducked down at one point because she thought the thing might explode. Harry reassured her that the representatives from the Ministry's Departments of Magical Cooperation and Games and Leisure would be taken out first if that happened.

"Maybe we'll get lucky and Snape will get taken out by the explosion."

Harry laughed at Ron's hopeful suggestion but then Dumbledore began droning on about the history and honors that went with being the winner of the Tournament. 'Why doesn't anyone mention the dangers or the deaths that have occurred during it' Harry thought. He had stayed as far away from the cup as possible and let everyone know he wouldn't put his name in even if he was old enough.

The first chosen was Viktor Krum. Harry was glad someone else famous was going to be the center of attention for the year. Not that he wanted to jinx him or anything but Harry thought Krum's seeker's reflexes might be a better target for whatever calamities the tasks might be. And it would be nice to have the fan girls following someone else around for a while.

The second Champion chosen was named Fleur Delacour; a Veela if one believed the rumors. Harry thought it funny that most of the wizards in the hall drooled when she swayed to the front and curtseyed to her incredibly tall headmistress. Ron looked to be stupefied and almost fell out of his chair before he noticed that she had left. Ginny whispered that he was just 'stupidized' to Hermione and she smiled.

Ginny had laughed out loud the first time Harry had referred to Madame Maxine as a headmistress. "It sounds like she's the most popular scarlet lady at a brothel Harry."

Harry wondered how Ginny knew about brothels for about a second and then remembered Mrs. Weasley's almost daily rants about any female that wasn't a Weasley. He wondered somehow that it wasn't a bit of reverse psychology in sex educating her only daughter; Harry asked Ginny once and she mysteriously said that her Mum had a lot of books and manuals in a cupboard in her bedroom about what 'scarlet ladies' actually did. Harry wondered about the dazed expression Arthur Weasley had some mornings when he came down the stairs. It made Harry uncomfortable when he thought about that now.

The Goblet kept chugging along and appeared to have almost blown a gasket before it finally regurgitated (Harry liked that better than throwing up) a name for the final participant. It was Cedric Diggory, a guy that Harry thought looked remarkably somewhat like a vampire in certain lightings. But he was the Hogwarts champion and Harry let go a big sigh of relief at the announcement. Harry would cheer for him and hoped Cedric would survive until the end.

Everyone started talking about the selection of the three champions and speculating about what their chances and tests were going to be. A lot of Hogwarts students started to surround Fred and George and Harry wondered how much money Ron had made on his bet. Harry had stood and was giving a hand to Hermione when the Goblet shook once and made a horrendously loud fart before flaming up again. Professor Dumbledore hurried back from the other doorway to pick up the charred piece of parchment from where it had landed on the floor.

Colin Creevy was trampled by the returning students as they boomeranged back to their seats. He ended up being shoved beneath the Beauxbatons table where he snapped enough interesting pictures to finance the rest of his and his brother's tuition for many years. It came to light later that the All-girls school had a significant number of exhibitionists that thought half-zipped robes alone were all they should wear.

Meanwhile Dumbledore's face had gotten very red as he looked around the hall. He was searching for someone in particular.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Hermione groaned while Harry closed his eyes. It really wasn't going to happen, was it?

Harry opened his eyes a second later to see the look of disbelieve on Dumbledore's face. It seemed to be in slow motion that Harry heard his name called out.

"Harry Potter?"

Harry swore. "Nobody here by that name."

Ron glowered and took a swing at Harry. He missed because he had to try to reach across Hermione. Harry grabbed Ron's errant fist and pulled on it taking him down to the floor. Ron looked up to see his sister standing over him. "He's your best friend Ron and you don't believe him when he said he didn't enter."

"Malfoy's right – he's a glory hound! And he could have put my name in when he put his in."

Ginny stamped her foot in frustration and Ron quit making any sound except for a high squeal. Hermione looked down to see where Ginny's foot was and made a face. She pulled her wand out and pointed it at Ginny's shoe. "You don't want to know where that's been Ginny. Scourgify!"

The spell hit Ginny's shoe and (fortunately or not) Ron's crotch where Ginny had put her foot down. Ron squealed once again and then passed out.

"Thank you Hermione" Ginny said.

"Harry Potter!"

"He's left for parts unknown. Left no forwarding address."

Everyone was staring at Harry. Most of the Hufflepuffs were trying to push their way through the crowds to get to Harry and remove Cedric's competition. Hermione put up a shield to deflect most of the thrown hexes; most fell to the floor and hit the unconscious Ron Weasley. He really looked like a mess now; Harry wondered how many foul tasting potions Madame Pomfrey was going to have lined up for him to drink when and if he awoke.

Dumbledore called out again. "Mr. Potter. Front and center. Now!"

The crowds of students parted as a giant bowling ball appeared in front of the Headmaster and began rolling toward Harry. "That's the Infamous Earl Anthony Special spell" Hermione whispered. "That's how Dumbledore supposedly took out ten giants in the Battle of Brunswickle Lane."

"Thanks Hermione. Keep your fingers crossed. Here goes nothing."

Harry stood up as the ball came to a stop atop Ron for a couple of seconds and then vanished. Harry stepped over the unconscious git and with Hermione and Ginny providing backup made his way to the front of the hall. Ginny fired off her bat-bogey hex off four times at people that were booing Harry. Hermione sent a very nasty "Trotsus Maximus" spell at Draco Malfoy who was being a bigger prig than normal. His rapid departure from the Hall could be tracked by the number of people who were holding their noses as Draco tried to run holding his behind with both hands.

Harry finally arrived in front of the Headmaster. "Did you put your name in the Goblet Harry?"

"Heck no sir. I may be young but I'm not that stupid."

"Says you" Snape muttered from behind Dumbledore. Harry raised his eyes and tried to shoot daggers at the Potions Master. He was getting a little better at the spell. Small safety pins developed in front of Harry's eyes but they only moved a few feet toward Snape before they disintegrated in midair.

"Did you ask someone to put your name in the Goblet Harry?"

""No, NO and especially, NO! I don't want to be part of this at all."

Barty Crouch was smiling evilly to one side. "Sorry Mr. Potter; the rules are quite clear. The names that come out of the Goblet of Fire are a type of binding magical contract."

Ludo Bagman however was jumping up and down in joy. "Harry Potter competes! The Boy-Who-Lived is part of the Tournament. The Ministry is going to make soooo much money selling tickets to the tasks and then there will be action figures of the four champions. And who knows what other promotional items- Champions cereal, Champion belts, etc.,etc., etc. I'll get such a flipping big bonus check."

Everyone stared at the celebrating Ministry representative. The hubbub had caused the other selected Champions to come back out from the anteroom behind the Great Hall.

"What'sss going on here." This was the first time anyone had heard Victor Krum speak. He had a serious lisp and Hermione and Ginny both backed away from the spittle spray that occurred as he talked. They looked at each other and made the universal 'Ewww!' face to each other.

Someone shouted out from the crowd. "Harry's been selected too. He's going to compete."

"He cainn't, can he Madame Maxine?" The high screechy voice that came out of Fleur Delacour's mouth had everyone flinching. As attractive as the girl was, her voice reminded everyone of nails on a blackboard. Harry thought briefly that only a deaf man could tolerate her company for more than a few minutes.

"Hey Harry."

"Hi Cedric."

"You got picked? Rotten luck."

"That's what I think."

Madame Maxine, Karkaroff and Dumbledore had been all huddled together for a number of minutes talking. They broke their huddle and Dumbledore came back to talk to Harry. Everyone else in the hall was quiet as he spoke.

"It has been decided to make you go forward Mr. Potter. Sadly, refusal to compete means breaking a magical contract and the removal of your magic. Since Mr. Diggory was chosen before you, he is the official Hogwarts champion and you cannot receive any help from me or any of the professors here at Hogwarts. The best I can offer you as an advisor is Mr. Filch."

There were groans from everyone that had ever attended Hogwarts. A high maniacal laugh was heard from back around the big doors. "I've got you now Potter."

Harry rolled his eyes and turned back to Dumbledore. "I'm sorry headmaster but I can't really do this."

There were shocked gasps that came from almost everyone around the hall. Harry was going to give up his magic? It was unbelievable.

Harry made a show of reaching into his pocket and pulled a piece of paper out. "I'm naming a substitute to compete for me."

Another set of outraged cries and gasps swept around the hall and woke up Ron Weasley. He staggered to the front of the mob as he wanted to take another swipe at Harry.

Barty Crouch Sr. was shaking his head solemnly. "The rules are quite explicit about this Mr. Potter. You cannot shove this honor off on anybody else."

"That's not quite right Mr. Crouch." Hermione stepped up beside her boyfriend Harry. "According to the official rules of the tournament, Section Four, Article 8, Paragraph 13, Subparagraph 7, Exception Number 19e – A surviving heir to a Noble family can name a replacement representative as the Tournament does not want to be the cause of the termination of a Family line. Harry is the last Potter left alive – the surviving heir. He has a right to designate a replacement or substitute competitor to take his place."

Everyone was reeling from this latest change in plans. Harry and Ginny both turned and hugged Hermione as the officials from the Ministry of Magic and the three headmasters (and headmistress) pulled out their rule books and began looking up the exception Hermione had stated. Dumbledore read the required page and pushed the rule book back into one of the many pockets in his robe and raised his voice. "What Miss Granger and Mr. Potter say is correct. Ten points to each of you for diligence and the application of investigative reasoning. You say you are ready to name a representative Mr. Potter?"

Harry raised his voice. "Yes, I have Headmaster. I have written down the name of someone that I think really deserves to compete in the Triwizard Tournament. An individual who has been with me almost from the beginning. Someone who knows what I like and dislike; a person that had experienced my greatest fears, losses, and triumphs."

With every word Harry spoke Ron smiled more and stood taller in his scuffed shoes. He knew who Harry was talking about. He thought it great that Harry wanted to name him – he would finally get his due as a wizard in his own right and grab the 1000 galleon reward and all the glory. He had been unconscious when the other champions had returned but hoped the French champion Delacour would recognize his greatness and walk away on his arm at the tournaments end.

Harry passed the folded paper to Dumbledore and he unfolded it. His eyes bulged out once again and he couldn't seem to find his voice. Barty Crouch subtly nudged the Headmaster and Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Mr. Potter this is … unexpected."

"I stand by my decision Headmaster. The present occupants of the school cannot be harmed by any of the competitors. It's a rule that keeps the Champions from cheating or taking advantage."

"Very well; I hope you know what you are doing." Harry and the two girls stepped back to the edge of the crowd. Ron came over and shook Harry's hand. "Thanks mate. I know you wouldn't let me down."

"Whatever Ron."

Dumbledore raised his voice. "Mr. Potter has chosen a representative. It is on this piece of paper. The person Harry Potter has chosen is…"

Ron stepped forward and started waving to everyone as he walked toward the dais with the other champions.

…Tom Marvolo Riddle" Dumbledore stepped back and drew his wand. Ron Weasley stopped in his tracks and then fainted. He knew that name.

"Who? What? I don't know that name." There were hundreds of questions flying around the hall but Headmaster Karkaroff had heard the name and was fighting his way toward the nearest door. Really fighting as a matter of fact, he was swinging and kicking trying to remove everyone that stood between him and getting out of the room.

Harry raised his wand and cast a _Sonorus_ charm on himself. "Tom Riddle was a prefect that attended Hogwarts 50 years ago. But most of you might know him better as…"

There came a crash of thunder and a bright flash of light. Almost everyone gaped at the figure that suddenly appeared in front of the Goblet of Fire.

"That's Peter Pettigrew" Professor McGonagall yelled before petrifying the supposedly dead wizard. The almost bald, portly man was frozen in looking around wildly and almost everyone saw the stain appear on the front of his grubby pants as he urinated in fear.

"So where's Tom Riddle?" somebody yelled out.

Harry smiled, stepped forward and gingerly picked a small bundle out of the frozen Pettigrew's arms. "He's heee-rrre. Tom Riddle is better known as Lord Voldemort."

Chaos overtook the hall. Some witches fainted, some wizards fled. Some Slytherins threw up as Harry held up the vile squirming little mess of flesh up by the foot and heard its pitiful cries. Harry turned back to Barty Crouch and Ludo Bagman. "Here's your competitor. I hope the first task involves wrestling a Nundu or something similar. By the way, it smells like his nappies need changing."

Placing the "whatever it was" down on the floor before Barty Crouch, Harry turned and waved to the stunned crowd. He also conjured up a giant size water balloon to wake up Ron and walked away from the Goblet of Fire humming.

Harry and Hermione walked out of the Great Hall smiling and wondering if they would have time to eat a decent size bowl of popcorn as Tom Riddle competed in the first task.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 – The First Task

Three things happened as Harry and Hermione were treading across the threshold exiting the Great Hall. The first of these that the Goblet of Fire, strained beyond measure from transporting the ugliest version ever of Lord Voldemort and Peter Pettigrew exploded!

The magical device disintegrated with the sound of giant mirror shattering. A wave of magical energy swept across the hall and passed through the poorly formed construct that was the Tom Riddle and Dumbledore who had come over to take a good look at the mystery meat. It knocked Dumbledore over and then hit the walls and rebounded backwards toward its origin point making another pass through the swaddled figure that had grown a little taller with the exposure of magic.

The second thing that happened was that Harry Potter screamed suddenly and clutched at the scar on his forehead as he collapsed on the floor. Hermione fell to her knees trying to comfort her boyfriend as Ginny fought her way to them through the confused students. Harry's scar was pulsing to a beat that had nothing to do with his heartbeat; Hermione saw both blood and some sort of black mucus oozing from the lightning shaped scar. It smelled disgusting. Hermione used a part of Harry's sleeve to clean his face off and then 'Scourgified' it. (Harry's sleeve, not his face.)

The few people with their eyes not shut in fear saw the Goblet of Fire magically reform at the front of the hall. The Goblet however was not in its original form however. Everyone stared at the change. It now resembled a porcelain stein about four feet tall. If one could see through the multi-colored embers still flying out of its mouth, the Mug of Sparklers had a panoramic scene embossed around its middle. Some said it depicted flying monkeys spanking themselves but others swore they saw a school of sharks chasing a fishing boat named The Minnow. Whatever they initially saw, the scene around the Magical Mug finally settled down to a merry-go- round with 13 Dwarves and a Hobbit riding on Clydesdales. Ludo Bagman finally lurched to his feet and closed the lid to the mug. The music which had been playing for five minutes finally stopped. The echoing strains of 'I Love You, You Love Me' sung by a purple dinosaur were still making people cringe and cover their ears. A wild, maniacal laugh made everyone stare at the person most people had been terrified at since the day they had been born.

"You fools. You shall regret trifling with the most powerful wizard in the world. Lord Voldemort lives again."

Harry felt the pressure decrease in his scar and he was helped to his feet by Hermione and Ginny. He looked back to the front of the hall and grimaced. Holding his wand out in front of him, Harry made his way through the rapidly departing students.

"Hiya Tom" said Harry.

The red-skinned figure spun to see who had addressed him. "Who dares utter that name? You shall rue the day that you first drew breath."

Harry raised his hand and waved. "Me. Sure – like I've never heard that before. Oh, by the way, my name is Harry Potter. The boy that you unsuccessfully tried to kill as a baby. And almost every year since I've come to Hogwarts."

Voldemort waved his hand summoning his wand from Peter Pettigrew's back pocket. It unfortunately had the effect of tearing a long rip in the old worn pants of the servant and the remaining witches in the crowd covered their eyes at the sight of the very dirty underwear that Peter had worn that day. Harry almost gagged at the smell but summoned a carpet to drape over Wormtail's frozen form.

Meanwhile Voldemort had trouble handling his wand (Well, to be fair he had trouble with handling his other wand also but that's quite another story). It was twice the size that he thought it would be. "What madness is this? What have you done to my wand Potter? Or is this Dumbledore's doing? No matter; I will correct this now. _Avada Ke_…"

Harry plucked the wand out of Voldemort's grasp. "Sorry, I can't let you do that. You might lose your magic."

Voldemort looked up into Harry's eyes. And looked up. And looked up yet again. He couldn't figure out why Potter had gotten so big. As a matter of fact, the Dark Lord noticed that everyone was bigger than normal. Harry resisted the urge to pat the person he knew as Tom Riddle on top of the head. After all, he only came up to Harry's waist.

Dumbledore conjured a full–length mirror to appear in front of Voldemort and he finally got a chance to take a good look at himself. Peeves, who was placing petroleum jelly on the door handles of every classroom up on the seventh floor, heard the howls of outrage.

"I don't know how you did this but you will turn me back this instant boy!"

Harry had hated being called boy ever since his blimp-sized Uncle had first stuffed him into the Closet-Under-The-Stairs. But he sat down on the floor and started explaining to the furious wizard why he was in the shape he was in. Professor McGonagall cast a spell that transformed Riddle's diaper and swaddling clothes into something more appropriate for someone of his stature – a Raggedy Andy outfit with wooden shoes. Tom (aka Lord Voldemort) was too distracted by Harry's explanations to not do anything more than throw the clogs away and wandlessly conjured himself a pair of comfortable slippers that had big floppy bat wings as a decoration.

It was at that second that the pair of trumpeters arrived at the doorway to the Great Hall and began blowing "Pomp and Circumstance". Everyone, including Voldemort, let out a deep sigh and hung their heads. They knew what and who was coming next. And they weren't disappointed. In reality however, they were terribly disappointed because Minister of Magic, Cornelius Waldo 'Chocolata' Fudge, swept into the hall followed closely by Lucius Malfoy and a half dozen Aurors.

"What in the name of the Merlin's pointy hat is going on here Dumbledore? Enough alarms were set off at the Ministry to break the stained glass window in my office door."

Barty Crouch hurried to explain to his boss that Harry Potter had exercised his right as the last of a family line to name a replacement for himself as a competitor in the Tri-Wizard Tournament. When Fudge demanded to know who it was, Crouch became nervous and said "You-Know-Who".

"No I don't know who. That's why I asked. Who's the replacement?"

Crouch rolled his eyes. "It's YOU KNOW WHO!" He pointed to the person glaring at everyone in sight.

Fudge turned and saw the red figure. "Hello little boy. You seemed to have gotten a really bad, bad sunburn."

That did it for the Dark Wizard. He stomped his foot in anger. "I am not a little boy! I am Lord Voldemort!"

There was a sudden silence in the room and then everyone heard Minister Fudge whisper a comment to his chief advisor Lucius Malfoy. "And here I always thought he was much taller."

Lucius cringed and then Voldemort came up and kicked the Minister in the shins. Fudged hopped on one leg and ordered the Aurors to arrest the person who had so violently assaulted him. Harry didn't want to do it but he stepped between the Aurors and Voldemort. "He's a Champion. If he doesn't compete, the consequences will be on your heads… and magic."

That stopped everyone in their tracks but Voldemort got a sly look on his face. "I think I will name Cornelius Fudge as my replacement. After all, I am the last of the line of…"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you Tom."

"Quit calling me that Potter!"

"Do you really want to publicly admit that your real background and name is …"

"Damn you Potter, I'm going to kill you."

"You can't do that."

"Why not?"

Harry winked at Hermione and Ginny who were anxiously watching the confrontation. "One, I have your wand Shorty. Two, the rules of the tournament say that you, and/or your associates cannot harm or cause harm to happen to the other Champions, anyone in any of the three schools or anyone associated with the tournament – that means the Ministry of Magic too."

"Well, that's a fine cauldron of poached potions you've put me in Potter."

"I think you'll do well in the competition. Did I mention there's a thousand galleons for the winner?"

Voldemort looked down at his bat slippers. "I guess I could buy some platform shoes with that money."

"See, there you go - a bright spot. I'll give you your wand back since you know the conditions now."

Harry handed the wand back to Voldemort and the little boiled-lobster-colored figure held it for a minute thinking. "I can't curse any student, teacher or any member of the ministry. That's the rules."

A braver sounding Ludo Bagman nodded and spoke out. "Yes, you understand it right Lord Voldemort."

"Good." Voldemort swept his wand around and pointed it at one person. "_Crucio! Crucio! Crucio!_"

Lucius Malfoy's screams rang out from the castle and echoed around Black Lake. Voldemort was surprised to hear a goodly amount of applause coming his way from the remaining students and Harry. "Thank you. We never liked him much anyway."

Dumbledore stepped forward. "I'm sorry sir, but all our spare rooms have been taking up by the press and officials. But I do have an idea. You can just room with one of our Professors. How about it Severus?"

Harry applauded again as his Potions Instructor's eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor in a faint.

Xxxx xxxx

The day of the first task was November 24th. Just three weeks and a couple days from when the Champions were chosen. It seemed a long time for those waiting to see what the first of the fabled tasks would be. It was way too short of time to prepare in the estimation of Victor Krum, Fleur Delacour and Cedric Diggory. They didn't have any clue about what sort of challenge they would be presented with.

That situation changed about a week before the anticipated date. The Gryffindors and about half of the fair young ladies from Beauxbatons were having a joint class in Herbology. (Yes, Seamus Finnegan and a young lady in blue named MaryJane Fumereax _were_ discussing the various growth lights and supplements that they used for their own private 'potted' plants that they grew in their respective dorms – but that's immaterial to this story.) The two groups were in Greenhouse Number Two weeding out the vegetable plants that was one of their projects for the year. Suddenly everyone heard a bunch of yelling from outside and looked through the glass windows to see a dragon rising out over the Forbidden Forest and dragging a number of men that were hanging onto a large chain. It was hard to tell however if the men were trying to pull the dragon down or the dragon was trying to pull the men up.

Professor Sprout cancelled class and sent Dean Thomas off to fetch Dumbledore. She went outside to see where the dragon was headed and the twenty odd students followed her outside. By this time the dragon was headed directly toward the cluster of greenhouses and all of the men had fallen off the large chain save one. They could see that he had become tangled up in the large chain and was hanging head downwards. Despite the fact that the person was being dragged through brush and briar and occasionally dropped and bounced on his head, Ron thought he recognized his brother Charlie.

Dumbledore appeared just at that moment and shook his head when he saw the loose dragon. (Harry and a bunch of others thought it was a Romanian Longhorn but Hermione correctly identified the breed as a Chinese Fireball. She was a little disappointed when she didn't get points from anyone.) Dumbledore pulled his wand and waved it. "Appereo Chrismale!"

Dumbledore appeared thoroughly perplexed when a selection of white and pink folded bedding appeared on the lawn in front of the dragon's erratic path. "That's not right" he muttered.

"Did you really mean to call for sheets Headmaster?"

"Sheets? No Miss Granger."

Dumbledore thought for a moment and then waved his wand again. "Appereo Pecus." This worked a little better as there was a flash and a herd of black and white sheep appeared on the lawn. The Chinese Fireball attacked and killed four of the grazers and then settled down to eat. Harry, Ron and a bunch of other students went over and untangled Ron's brother Charlie from the chain that had held him. "Are you okay?" Lavender Brown said as she intentionally brushed off a tangle of leaves from the front of the older Weasley's pants.

Charlie's eyes grew fuzzy momentarily and he pushed the flirt away from him. "You must be Lavender. My brother Ron told me you were quick to find a broom closet with anyone male."

Lavender grinned but the Dumbledore interrupted the gathering. "Mr. Weasley, what is going on here?"

"You requested a fourth dragon for the first task of the Tournament didn't you? Well, it just got here and the other dragons didn't take too kindly to having another female around the ….mmmmph" Charlie Weasley didn't get hit by just a silencing spell – his entire mouth disappeared!

Dumbledore looked around to see that the students that had come outside had mostly vanished back into the greenhouse they had come out of. It was too late to wipe the memories of everyone that had seen the dragon or heard what one of the handler's had said.

Harry had seen Fleur hightail it back when she heard that there were four dragons for the first task. She was on the way to tell Madame Maxine or Victor Krum or both. The two foreign champions had stuck together whenever they got away from their minders and Harry had inadvertently heard a not so private encounter between the two one evening in the library. The voices and the subject matter frankly sickened Harry but it seemed that those two Champions were very smitten with each other. (And were actively 'smiting' each other at every opportunity. (Ewww!))

Dumbledore turned his attention back to Charlie as the other handlers finally caught up to the large creature. Dumbledore cancelled the vanishing spell on Charlie's mouth and then received a refresher course of how colorful cursing was in Romanian. At the same time, Harry was pulling a reluctant Hermione back into the greenhouse so they could head out. "I'm going to see if I can go find Cedric and warn him."

Hermione nodded. "I think I'll go wait for Ginny to get out of Potions and tell her that the first task involves dragons. She will take great delight in telling Ron what you didn't sign him up for."

Harry smiled as he watched Hermione gather up her bookbag and walk away with a certain sway of her hips. She just loved to tease Harry, a trait she had picked up from the young Miss Weasley.

Harry had no doubts that Tom Riddle was already being informed that the Champions were challenging dragons. Slytherin House had lined up almost en mass to bow down and serve the Dark Lord. Of course they had to be sneaky about it; something that a few of the denser ones didn't quite comprehend. Wearing 'I Heart Voldie' buttons to Transfiguration Class got Crabbe and Goyle enough demerits and time with Filch to actually receive paychecks and a W-2 form by the end of the year.

Draco had a hard time deciding which direction to go in finding his father's master. There were two places he might be; one was the restricted section in the Hogwarts library where The Dark Lord was reading every banned book he could get his hands on; even _Peyton Place _and _Green Eggs and Ham_. (Tom's giggles were horrible, just horrible.)

The second place that Lord Voldemort could be found was the Hogwarts kitchen. Harry Potter, with the backing of Madame Pomfrey, suggested that Tom's status of being vertically challenged might be overcome with a few good meals. A few potions brewed by the Weasley twins were then secretly snuck into Lord Voldemort's meals by the house elves. After a few weeks, Lord Voldemort erroneously thought that the increase in meals was making him bigger. It was in a way. Lord Voldemort was now not only vertically challenged but he was getting more horizontally gifted. The Mirror of Erised was instrumental in really convincing Lord Voldemort that he was getting taller and looking better every day.

Lord Voldemort was snacking on a whole plum pudding and trying to decipher the hidden messages and spells in _Slaughterhouse-Five_ when Draco approached him. Lord Voldemort watched the young man bow and grovel his way forward. It was enjoyable for him having this many followers again even if he couldn't punish them properly.

Voldemort smiled when Draco told him the first task involved dragons. He could control dragons; they were only a different variety of snakes and he had one of those at his beck and call underneath Hogwarts. All he had to do was summon the Basilisk and let it fight whatever dragon he was to fight.

Draco Malfoy delivered his message and watched as the most powerful wizard in the world laughed with his mouth open and full of plum pudding. It was alarming. Very alarming. Draco thought about going on a serious diet. Between Weasley in the Great Hall and Lord Voldemort who ate in the Slytherin common room most evenings, it was more than enough to put anyone off their feed. And complaining to his father did no good. Lucius Malfoy had been "volunteered" as Lord Voldemort's official aide so he was here at school most of the time. And being tortured at the Champion's whim.

Voldemort finished his plum pudding and stood up cautiously. He somehow felt taller with a full stomach. Since he was stuck at this school until the Tournament ended he had decided to take the time and work on mastering his craft and adding to his coffers. Although there were few calls to torture people for fun and profit, Lord Voldemort quickly picked up on something that he thought was greatly needed by the young wizards and witches at Hogwarts.

The Dark Lord's 'Style Nook, Tanning Salon and Bait Shop' had opened with little fanfare in a deserted corridor on the second sub-sub-sublevel of dungeons only a few days after the reappearance of Voldemort on the Night of the Champions Choosing. The fun of the place wasn't actually the contents and selection of goods in the shop but the very odd uniforms that the Slytherins students that worked the counters had to wear. The documented appearance of the sons and daughters of the pureblood Slytherins in see-thru hip waders, Parisian haberdashery and neon colored muscle shirts gave everyone who dared approach the "Little Shop of Horrorifics" enough blackmail material to keep them comfortable for a long number of years.

Lord Voldemort had plenty of things to occupy his time. The store inventory, the preparations for the Tournament and his new mail order course on Ballroom dancing kept him from interacting with the other contestants and, more importantly, Harry Potter.

Xxxx xxxx

Harry was confronted by a very, very upset Lord Voldemort the morning of the first task. In fact the 'Maroon Midget Maniac' was laying in wait for Harry outside the Gryffindor common room when he exited it with Hermione and Ginny. Sending the two girls on to breakfast, Harry waited patiently as Voldemort vented for a good ten minutes before he actually said something that was recognizable as English. Harry held up his hand once he understood the complaint.

"Hold on; let me get this right. You had a date with Rita Skeeter last night and you wanted to end up in bed with her. I personally think that's a pretty bad choice to make but I can understand that you wanted to prove something to the press in a positive way. You said you took her to the Chamber of Secrets to show her the big surprise you were sure would guarantee you success in the first task against the dragons."

"Yes, I'm sure it was a big shock to find out that Salazar Slytherins pet guardian was dead. That's too bad Tom; did you forget to leave instructions with anyone to feed and water it when you sealed the Chamber up the last time you visited it? No? Well you have nobody to blame but yourself then."

"I'm sorry but all those rumors that you've heard about me killing the beast have to be made up. Little skinny me defeating a big scary thing that could kill you by just looking at you? Somebody must be lying to you. If I had somehow managed to kill that thing, wouldn't I have sold the skin and venom and all those other rare and expensive bits to make myself a pile of cash? It just doesn't make sense Tom."

"Oops, sorry. You don't like hearing that name – I forgot. I'll try to remember in the future. By the way, do you have a backup plan for dealing with those cranky female dragons? Hey, don't run away like that. No, I haven't seen Mr. Malfoy lately. Good luck later this morning then. I'll be there watching."

Harry watched as Tom Riddle practically ran (or waddled) away from him, calling out for Lucius Malfoy. It seemed the fourth Champion had this one plan to ensure his success but now had to think of something else. 'Life's tough' Harry thought as he hurried to breakfast. He wanted to get to the arena early and get a good seat to watch the fun.

Xxxx xxxx

When Harry arrived at the arena he found out that he couldn't help himself; Harry had to know what the instructions to the Champions and what the task was going to be. He saw the arena set up with the rocky terrain and the bunch of dragon eggs setting in the middle of everything. He let go off Hermione's hand and showed her a corner of the Invisibility Cloak he had in his pocket.

"No, I'm not going to go under the bleachers and snog you now Harry. I want to watch the first task. I do hope nobody tries to hurt the dragons; they're supposed to get really fierce when they are provoked."

'Well, duh' Harry thought. What he said instead was that he was going to go sneak into the Champions tent and see what the specific task was. And to keep an eye on Tom.

"Okay Harry. If anybody asks about you, I'll just say your weak kidneys are acting up again and you had to run to the loo."

"Thanks Hermione." Harry walked away shaking his head and wondering if Clark Kent or Peter Parker ever got this kind of help for excuses and sneaking off.

Harry did go below the stands and checked around before throwing the invisibility cloak over himself. He vanished just split seconds before Malfoy and Pansy Parkinson came sneaking under the stands. He had no idea what they were doing there and didn't really want to find out about the two Slytherins. Harry left before he saw Draco demand that Pansy take off her dress. She did so and Harry then missed Draco Malfoy, the most evil insulting Death Eater wannabe in Hogwarts, put the dress on himself and conjure up a full–length mirror to see how he looked in the cute frock.

Harry was far away from that disturbing sight as he followed Viktor Krum and Karkaroff into the official tent. Harry stayed under his invisibility cloak near the tent flap but close enough to hear everything that was said. Harry saw that Viktor had rushed over to talk to Fleur despite the objections of Madame Maxine and Karkaroff who were arguing about whose student's behavior was the most inappropriate. Cedric Diggory was standing with Dumbledore and having some discussion that involved a lot of arm waving and pointing. Harry finally figured out that Dumbledore was trying to explain the complicated movement that went to a spell that Cedric wanted to use.

It wasn't too long before the last Champion entered the tent. Harry was almost run over first as Mr. Malfoy rushed through the tent flap first and held it open for Lord Voldemort to enter. Lord Voldemort looked especially bored at the sight of the other contestants and the Ministry officials.

Ludo Bagman stepped forward holding a little squirming bag. "Now that we're all here, it's time to tell you the first task. There are a bunch of dragon eggs out in the arena. In the midst of all those future monsters, there will be one golden egg. Each of you is tasked to retrieve that egg by whatever means are possible. Oh, I almost forgot. Each of you will have to get by a different dragon to do that. Now, the rules for this task. The golden egg cannot be summoned; you must claim it with your own hands. No outside help is allowed and you are only allowed to carry your wand into the arena."

"MANEF (Meddlers Against Nearly Everything Fun) are holding protest marches outside the school, so please try not to hurt the dragons too much or break any of the dragon eggs. You wouldn't believe the paperwork we had to go through to get all the special permits to move the eggs from their original nests. I promise you that you will be filling out paperwork until the next Tri-wizard Tournament if you mess this up."

"I've got a toy model of the each species in this bag. You will reach in and draw one out to determine your opponent and the order of the Champions. You first Miss Delacour."

Fleur reached carefully into the bad and pulled out a very cute miniature Welsh Green with the number one on its neck. Krum went next and picked out the scarlet Chinese Fireball that Harry had seen a week ago. It had the number three on its neck. Cedric tried to let Voldemort pick next but the pudgy little wizard just shook his head. Cedric picked a blue Swedish Short-Snout with the number two. He went down and sat on the nearest cot and looked at the little model as if it could tell him something.

That left You-Know-Who. Voldemort had Bagman lower the sack until he could reach into it He-Who-Must-Not-etc.,etc., pulled out the Hungarian Horntail and placed it on his palm. The model with the number four on its neck nipped at Voldemort's thumb and drew blood. Harry felt a little sick when the little model suddenly swayed and keeled over dead. That was Harry's cue to gather the invisibility cloak tighter about him and leave the tent.

Harry slipped into the seat that was saved for him between Ginny and Hermione with the invisibility cloak folded back up in his pocket. He told the girls quietly what had happened in the tent and they looked a little nervous. "Hey at least it's not me out there." Harry said.

Looking around at the crowd while the judges were getting into their special box Harry saw something interesting. Snape was leading both Draco and Ron away from the field, dragging them by their earlobes.

"What's that all about?'

"Ron opened his big mouth again as soon as he saw Malfoy. He said something pretty disparaging about Slytherins but I think he went over the line when he asked Draco why he was wearing earrings. They got into the biggest fight but Professor Snape broke it up and gave the two of them detentions. He's taking them up to Madame Pomfrey to heal the broken noses and such and then turn them over to Filch."

"You get the feeling that Professor Snape is trying to distance himself from the competition Harry?"

"I think so, Peeves said that our Potions teacher had had it up to here with his roommate. Voldemort never picks up after himself and he farts in his sleep. Badly."

"Harry!"

"I'm just repeating what I've heard."

The sound of trumpets blaring pulled everyone's attention back to the arena. A slightly nervous Fleur Delacour stepped out into sunlight and clamored down into the pit. The gate at the other end of the enclosure opened and the Welsh Green was prodded into the area. It saw the eggs at once and came over to stand guard over them. Harry saw that there was a big chain around the dragon's ankle to keep it from flying away or getting totally loose.

Harry and his friends turned his attention back to Fleur who had reached a slightly higher rock. Her movement finally attracted the Welsh Green and it growled in her direction. Fleur raised her wand and cast her first spell. It vanished her clothes. Totally! The catcalls and gasps from the crowd and the judges didn't sway the French girl at all. Harry's eyes were quickly covered by both Ginny's and Hermione's hands. Harry tried not to sound too disappointed. "Why did she do that?"

"She's trying to work her Veela allure on the dragon" Hermione said. "Is she totally stupid? That's a FEMALE for Merlin's sake and the chances of it being… are really remote. Not that's there's anything wrong if you lean that way of course."

From the sounds Harry heard, Fleur quickly realized that her first attempt wouldn't work. The girls took their hands away when Fleur re-clothed herself but it was too late for most of the male spectators in the stands. They were lying back with strange smiles on their faces for the most part or sleeping. More than a few of the older wizards were actually lighting up pipes or muggle cigarettes. Harry wondered if all the smoke drifting across the arena would make it possible for the girl to sneak in and get her egg.

Harry heard Fleur suddenly yell out another spell. "Appereo Pecus." Another flock of sheep appeared but began running as soon as they heard the Welsh Green roar. There wasn't a lot of room in the little arena and the dragon quickly killed a bunch and settled down to eat. Fleur flinched every time she heard bones crunching but did manage to get her egg and slip out of the arena.

Harry looked over to the judges table. Madame Maxine was smiling as she wrote down her score but Karkaroff, Crouch and Bagman had frowns on their faces. Harry could see a furious Dumbledore write down a big zero on his scorecard even from where he sat. 'The Headmaster must really hate copycats' he thought.

The students that were still awake watched as the dragon handlers dragged the Welsh Green out of the arena, cleaned up the sheep remains and put another golden egg in the middle of the dragon eggs. The second competitor, Cedric Diggory walked into the stadium to cheers as the Swedish Short-Snout was let into the area. Cedric did a brief bow to the judge's table and then turned and faced his dragon. The dragon and Cedric stared at each other for a minute or two sizing up the opposition.

Cedric raised his wand hand and then summoned something from the Champions tent. Everyone saw that he was holding the animated model of the huge beast. Without taking his eyes off the Short-Snout, Cedric waved his wand at the model and it took off on a line for the full-sized dragon. Harry saw that Cedric was using his wand like a conductor's baton as he directed the flight of the little animation. Harry thought that Cedric was going to use the obviously enhanced toy to distract the Short-Snout and lead it away from the clutch off eggs. Cedric obviously had another plan. Everyone watched as the little Short-Snout flew rapidly around the dragon's head annoying it as it tried to bat the thing out of the air. Harry thought it would be really cool if the dragon managed to knock itself out by hitting itself.

Cedric made one very complicated wave of his wand and then a dramatic lunge. Harry's seeker eyes were about the only pair that saw the hand-sized model fly right up one nostril of the dragon. Cedric lowered his arm and took a deep breath. Strangely enough, so did the Swedish Short-Snout.

It then sneezed. And sneezed again. The crowd started cheering as the Short-Snout continued to sneeze and fell over sideways pawing at its snout. The dragon continued to be racked by sneezes as Cedric made his way into the nest and held up his golden egg. When Cedric finally exited the pit he raised his arm and summoned the very disgustingly-covered-in-snot model to him. The dragon got back to its feet but continued to shake her head as she was dragged out of the arena.

Ginny was giggling next to Harry but she was clapping just as hard as everyone else for the Hogwarts Champion. "That was really cool Harry."

Harry agreed and Hermione thought that he should be getting extra points for his creative wand work.

The next Champion was Victor Krum. He marched into the arena but ducked down behind a big rock cropping when the Chinese Fireball blew large ball of fire over his head.

"And that's why it's called a Chinese Fireball Ginny."

"Thanks Hermione, I never would have guessed that."

While the Fireball was reloading for another attempt on his life, everyone saw Krum stand up and issue his first spell. "Athhssio Nimbuss."

Even the dragon paused and cocked his head sideways a little bit. It and everyone in the stands were trying to figure out what the wizard was trying to say.

"Athhssio Nimbuss."

"What?" came from a number of voices in the stands. Ginny turned to Harry and little excitedly and tugged on his sleeve. "I think he's trying to summon his broom."

"That's suicidal" Harry said. "What's he going to do with a broom – outfly a dragon? I'm a seeker to and I'd have to be drunk to even think about trying that."

"Maybe that explains his speech Harry. He's half snockered all the time."

Harry looked at Hermione wide-eyed and then swung his attention back to the Champion from Durmstrang. Now that it had been mentioned Harry could see that Krum swayed just a bit as he pointed his wand again. Hoping it really wasn't the effects of firewhiskey or something else, Harry held his breath as Krum called out again.

"Athhssio .. Ah, come'ere bwoomie, bwoomie."

There was a whoosh and Harry saw a Nimbus 2001, Krum's broom, come wobbling over the stands to his outstretched hands. Viktor mounted his broom and lept, make that… flew to the attack. The Chinese Fireball got a little dizzy as Krum made pass after pass around the beast's head, turning him around and making it spin in circles. Just when Harry thought the Fireball was tired from trying to blast the tiny figure and the broom out of the air, Viktor swooped down and picked up the golden egg out of the middle of the clutch of eggs.

Everyone cheered and Harry thought it was too bad that Ron wasn't here to collect his bet on the world famous seeker from the twins. The dragon turned suddenly at the sound coming from the stands and the unfortunate happened. Viktor was holding up the egg in triumph and looking toward the judge's box. He never saw the big wide tail of the Chinese Fireball come whipping around and demolish his broom. Viktor went sailing in a high arch toward the school, losing his hold on the egg which happened to fall into Harry's arms. Harry looked at it for a second and then dropped the prize like a too hot biscuit.

There was a sickening crunch from an area far in back of the stands and everybody flinched.

"Do you suppose…" Hermione asked a little worriedly.

"Yep" Harry said. "He went off toward The Whomping Willow; I bet he hit it dead on. I wonder how the judges are going to score that?"

There was a called timeout from the judges as they all hurried to check on the foreign Champion. Harry saw that Fleur was the first to flee toward the sentient tree and hoped she knew how to duck. He thought about following in the off chance that the female Champion would try using her allure on a tree. Deciding he'd rather have a girlfriend and a half at the end of the day Harry remained seated.

(Hermione and Ginny had finally explained their relationship to Harry the night after he surprisingly named Tom Riddle as his substitute. Because of the abuse Ginny had received from the diary version of Riddle, she was extremely scared of men and boys and didn't want to have anything to do with them at all. She trusted that her rescuer and Hermione wouldn't let anybody personally take advantage of her ever again. Hermione had provided a bunch of 'special' comfort to the distraught youngest Weasley in the summer after Ginny's first year and they became very close. So close in fact that Harry had to take a very cold shower after Hermione told him how close they got some nights in bed. 'Not that there's anything wrong with that type of relationship' Harry thought. Anyway, Hermione had agreed to 'share' Harry until or if Ginny wanted a relationship with another male. It was therapy of a kind for Ginny and Harry wouldn't begrudged helping her out any way he could. The sacrifices a wizard had to make for his friends was just unbelievable. Harry suffered soooo much from the kisses and hugs of two witches.)

Dumbledore came back with the rest of the judges after about twenty minutes and used a Sonorous charm. "Mr. Krum will be quite all right after his effort with the Chinese Fireball and his untimely collision with one of the school's Horticultural marvels. Madame Pomfrey and a number of healers from St. Mungo's are even now applying their vast skills in jigsaw solving and furniture repair to make sure that the Champion from Durmstrang Academy will be all healed up in time for the second task."

With that Dumbledore and the rest of the judge's returned to their special box and waited for the last Champion to appear. Almost everyone heard a discussion issuing from the tent which got louder and louder. The crowd heard a loud "NO Way" from inside and then there was silence.

Lord Voldemort and Lucius Malfoy exited the tent. Malfoy was floating as he was unconscious and Voldemort was guiding him with an upraised hand. It was quite shocking and Harry suddenly wished that the younger Malfoy was still present to see how his all-powerful father was doing. Voldemort trotted his way to the front of the judge's table and summarily dropped Malfoy on the ground. "Let me wake up this fool and then we can proceed."

Casting a "Renervate" , Voldemort waited until Lucius woke up and slowly climbed to his feet. Voldemort pointed to the arena and the Hungarian Horntail and Harry started sniggering.

"What? Have I missed something?"

"No Ginny, Voldemort has a new plan of action. Since he couldn't kill or paralyze the dragon, he's just ordering Malfoy Sr. to go do the chore for him. I'm pretty sure that Dumbledore and the other judges aren't going to allow that."

Malfoy looked very relieved at the pronouncement that Lord Voldemort had to go into the arena himself and retrieve the egg. That expression didn't last very long as Voldemort "Crucioed" him quickly back into unconsciousness.

Harry saw that the judges were already discussing how much to take off Voldemort's score when Riddle deigned to climb down into the rocky arena. The Hungarian Horntail, the biggest and most vicious of the female dragons present, stood protectively over the eggs. Voldemort wound up and sent a stunner right at the breastbone of the dragon. It staggered her back but really enraged her. Voldemort sent another stunner; now the big dragon was up against the side off the arena but flapping its wings. It was trying to break away from the chain around its leg and get to the last competitor.

With a loud snap one of the links in the chain finally broke and the Horntail was loose. Most people in the stands started running for cover but Harry held steadfast. He could see where the dragon was heading – right for Voldemort. Voldemort ducked under the massive bodyand sharp claws and turned to face the attacker.

Voldemort raised his wand one more time and called out another spell. "Tempus Gorganzona Imperitifva!" Hermione reacted as she heard that spell. Harry was pushed to the ground and covered by both Hermione and Ginny without any explanation.

"Keep your eyes closed!" Hermione screamed.

Harry heard Dumbledore and the other judges swearing and glanced sideways to see that the walls of the arena had grown forty feet high to screen off the arena from anybody's sight.

"What just happened?" Harry said. He wasn't too concerned about getting up in any hurry. Hermione's chest was firmly planted against his chin and, if that wasn't distracting enough, Ginny had grabbed his bum and was holding onto it for dear life as she trembled against his stomach after taking him down. There was panic for about five minutes until Dumbledore announced that the task was finished. Harry was let up by the two girls as Dumbledore cancelled the spell on the arena walls.

As the walls turned transparent and finally vanished, Harry and the remaining spectators saw the Voldemort had gained possession of the last golden egg. He was also sitting on the Hungarian Horntail's foot and Harry joined the others in gasping.

"That was very, very advanced and Dark Magic" Hermione said. "Riddle reached through time and brought back something that could stop the dragon in its tracks. He could only hold it here for a couple of seconds but it was enough time for it to do enough damage."

"I thought gorganzola was a type of cheese" Ginny said.

"It is Ginny. What Tom brought forward was a mythical creature; at least everyone thinks it was a mythical creature. I guess we'll have to think differently now. It was terribly real female that conquered the Hungarian Horntail."

Voldemort would argue for days about the extremely low score that he got for finishing the first task successfully. It did no good and Lucius Malfoy was otherwise occupied for the next 2 years filling out paperwork and appearing in court to explain his Master's action.

It was a gorgon that Lord Voldemort brought from the past to duel the Hungarian Horntail and it was very real.

And that my friends is how Hogwarts ended up with a life-sized stone statue of a Hungarian Horntail opposite the Quidditch pitch. Every so often, late at night, students suffering from restlessness or insomnia think they hear it roaring over the sound of the wind.

Xxxx xxxx

A. N. The second task will not be coming up soon. I have to figure out who Tom will 'dearly miss'. Lucius? Bellatrix? Dumbledore? Harry? His Starbucks barista? Only time and sleep will help me solve this Riddle.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Harry and the Second Task

It had been almost a month since the end of the first task and not one of the four Champions had a clue as to what their Golden Egg's message was. To three of the Champions, the opening of the Egg just released a high scream of meaningless sound that didn't do anything but set everyone's ears on edge. To Lord Voldemort however, it was a wonderful excuse to randomly incite fear and pain, as he applied a silencing spell to himself and opened his Egg anytime he felt like roaming the halls of Hogwarts. The short red wizard started laughing when students from the three schools turned and ran away from him whenever they saw him coming.

Harry and the twins did have a nice time one Saturday in taking and hiding the Egg away from Lord Shortypants. They "Accio"ed the Egg away from the grip of Lucius Malfoy numerous times and hid it in such interesting places as the pudding bin in the Hogwarts kitchen, under the owl droppings collection pile in the owlery, and in Peeves personal supply of toe jam (Ewww!). Of course, Malfoy was the one that had to search the school as Voldemort blamed him for the loss every time.

It was the last place that it was hid that created the unfortunate incident for Mr. Malfoy Sr and caused poor Draco to cry. No one wanted to fess up to placing He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named's Golden Egg between the feather mattress and the box springs of Deputy Headmistress Minerva McGonagall's bed. When she caught Lucius Malfoy reaching beneath her in the middle of the night, she transfigured him into a 6 foot tall cheese sculpture. She then left him there, in her bedroom, to go find Dumbledore and the unspeakable named SOB that Malfoy worked for.

Peter Pettigrew, who been sent to find Malfoy by Voldemort, tracked him down to Professor McGonagall's quarters. Unable to resist the smell and sight of six feet of sharp cheddar cheese, Peter transformed into his animagus form and began making up for the supper he had missed. By the time Voldemort, Dumbledore and McGonagall returned, Wormtail had eaten three toes, one ear and the tip of the nose off of one very upset Lucius Malfoy. When he was returned to his living form, Malfoy had to spend the rest of the weekend in the infirmary drinking a number of untasty potions under the supervision of Madame Pomfrey.

The discovery of the actual message of the Eggs was quite accidental and the result of a simple act of vexation by a Champion's girlfriend. Cedric Diggory was walking along the shores of Black Lake, casting any and every number of translation spells he knew on his Egg. His girlfriend, Cho Chang was bemoaning the fact that she had lost four of her beautiful eyelashes that morning while applying her makeup. Cedric, over the course of their dating, had become accustomed to her ongoing catastrophes and was paying more attention to the Egg than he was to her.

Cho broke off her crying long enough to seize Cedric's Egg and throw it into the Lake. She immediately broke down crying because she knew she had done something horrid to the man she loved. The ever patient Cedric patted her on the back and pulled out one of the sixty five handkerchiefs he habitually carried with him for their dates. He waited until she had dried her tears (temporarily) and then waded into the cold lake to retrieve his prize from the First Task. He was amazed when he ducked his head under the water to look for it that he could hear a very beautiful voice singing. Cedric resurfaced just long enough to tell Cho to write down what the Egg was saying. Cho, smiling bravely through her ongoing trauma, conjured up a quill and some parchment to write down what Cedric kept popping up to tell her. The message itself was very strange:

_Here we live, you Champion snots _

_We don't breathe air like you lot _

_As we've taken that what you'll sorely miss _

_Some special spells you'll need to avoid anguish. _

_Sixty minutes you'll have to look_

_ Rescue them not and you'll be a shnook_

_Bait they are, make no mistake _

_You'll have to stage a fine jailbreak _

_But only an hour is ours to give _

_For after that, they might fail to live. _

It was pure happenstance that Fleur Delacour and Viktor Krum happened to be nearby to hear what Cedric was yelling across 25 feet of water. The two Champions from the Durmstrang Institute and Beauxbatons Institute of Magic were still carrying on their romantic encounters at every opportunity. Today, they were engaged in a very risqué version of "Me Tarzan-You Jane" 20 feet above the ground in a walnut tree. They stopped their careful balancing conjunction to try and memorize what the Hufflepuff prefect was yelling.

Harry Potter by a weird set of circumstances was also within earshot on that day. He, Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley were playing a special game of strip Gobstones in a sheltered spot in the midst of a couple of pine trees, well-hidden from most eyes. Harry suspected that the girls were losing hands (and clothes) intentionally but he was too much a gentleman to actually accuse them of that or ending the game (and the sights) prematurely.

Hermione (or His-moan-ey as Harry had reason to call her) dutifully wrote down what Cedric was calling out to Cho and the three sat around topless for about an hour discussing the warning. (To be truly accurate Harry was mostly nodding wordlessly at Ginny and Hermione while they figured out that the four champions were going to have to rescue a captive from the merpeople.)

Secrets being what they are, it only took about an hour for the news to become common knowledge around Hogwarts. Of course the version that Lucius Malfoy passed on to Lord Voldemort was 'slightly' different from the message that the people near the lake heard from Cedric.

"This just doesn't make sense Lucius" Voldemort said. "Go fetch Potter; he might have heard something a little more believable." Malfoy Sr. frowned; he didn't really like having to deal with the Potter brat much. Strange things happened when the two of them were close together and Lucius invariably ended up looking foolish or being injured. Yelling at his son to go fetch Potter, Lucius sat back and waited. It wasn't too long before the young Potter strolled into the dungeons. Alone. Lucius sighed wearily but had to ask the question. "What's happened to Draco?"

Harry tried to look apologetic. "Mr. Malfoy, your son tried getting my attention by aiming a Blasting spell at my back. I notice my shoe was untied and while bending down suddenly, his spell missed me. Unfortunately it hit Mr. Filch who was talking to the Headmaster about the arrangements that had to be made for the Yule Ball on Christmas Eve. Isn't that great, we're having a big dance to celebrate the Tournament and the three schools cooperation. I've already got two dates; now I just have to find out a spell that teaches me how to dance."

Lucius rolled his eyes. "And Draco?"

"Yeah, right. After Madame Pomfrey wheeled the parts of Filch away and said she could rebuild him from scratch, Dumbledore unfastened Draco from the ceiling. I think the headmaster put him there just until the mess was cleaned up. Anyway Draco and the Headmaster are having a nice long talk in his office. That reminds me, you'll have to take Draco to get another wand. Dumbledore snapped his before he made a call to the Aurors."

Lucius swore and started hurrying away. "My Master wants to talk to you. I have to go to Gringotts and then go bribe… see Minister Fudge. If I find you had anything to do with this travesty…."

"I know, I know – you'll get back at me. Bye-bye Mr. Malfoy."

Harry turned and knocked on the door and walked into Professor Snape's old quarters. Snape had decided after much deliberation that the lodging in one of the cells in the sub-dungeon would be vastly preferable to having Lord Short and Stout as a roommate.

"Hi Tom. What's up?"

"I wish you would stop calling me that Potter. Even the house elves are starting to lose their fear of me since you let it be known that my first name is Tom."

"So is it my fault that you couldn't make a decent first name up to go with that 'I am Lord Voldemort' arrangement? Couldn't you come up with something a little direr? How about 'Mortimer Vlodd' for example or 'Devilard Trom'? Of course, I am coming up with those names off the top of my head and may have missed a letter or two."

"This from someone who's given first name is 'Harry'? There's a name to inspire someone."

"Okay, point taken. What do you want Mr. Riddle?"

Voldemort snarled. "Don't tempt me Potter. I'm just waiting for this Tournament to end so I can deal with you. Word has reached me about the contents of the Eggs."

"So how come a mad mastermind like you couldn't figure it out for himself?"

"That's what I have minions for. Mine has told me that the Second Task involves rescuing a lot of fish from a needy missing link wearing an hourglass. I thought that cavemen were extinct? That just doesn't sound right; I wonder at the believability of the Ministry of Magic."

Harry tried really hard not to laugh at the Dark and Tiny Lord. Voldemort was still only waist high to Harry but was still capable of incredible tantrums and mood swings. Harry carefully explained what almost everybody else thought the message meant and slipped out the door while Voldemort was destroying some more of Professor Snape's clothing and other possessions.

Xxxx xxxx

The Yule Ball was a time for celebration and dressing up. The wizards from Durmstrang of course had lots of robes in basic black but a Formal Ball was an occasion for them to dredge up the fancy fur collars and swashes to look even more impressive than normal.

The ladies from Beauxbatons were giddy to have a chance to display their best gowns and physical beauty to the wizards from the other two schools. There was a fierce competition that developed between the witches from Hogwarts and the ladies from the French school to end up with the most impressive dates. Harry was especially glad that he had asked both Hermione and Ginny to be his dates as soon as he heard about the occasion.

The only wizard that really couldn't get a date was Ron Weasley. Because of his ongoing comments about Harry Potter's unfairness to him, a lot of the girls at Hogwarts thought he was a bully and a lout. The only girls that seemed interested in his attitude were in Slytherin and Ron was too biased to try asking one of them to accompany him to the Ball. As for the refined girls from Beauxbatons, they all had seen Ron Weasley eat and none there wanted to have their reputations or gowns damaged by being anywhere near him. (There was one 'gentle'man from Durmstrang that asked Ron Weasley to go to the ball with him but by the time the two were pried apart Ron Weasley was injured and had enough detentions to not worry about getting a date any longer.)

The Great Hall at Hogwarts had been decorated as a fantastic winter wonderland. Garlands of pine and holly ran across the ceiling. Frosty icicles decorated the walls and holly wreaths surrounded the miniature decorated Christmas trees on every table. There were two huge Christmas trees set up on the hall framing the stage where the musicians were to sit and perform. The teacher's table had been expanded to include a few more dignitaries as well as the heads of the two visiting schools. Harry had felt very proud to be walking in with Hermione and Ginny. His deep green dress robes seemed perfect to accompany the vision of periwinkle that Hermione had worn and the dark red gown that Ginny had found to complement her auburn locks. More than a couple of their Gryffindor classmates couldn't believe the transformation of the three and privately thought that Harry was a very lucky bloke. Draco Malfoy for once was shocked into silence as the three entered the Hall and received a small round of applause from Harry's friends.

Harry and his dates quickly found and sat at table occupied by Neville and Luna, Seamus and Lavender, and a couple from Ravenclaw – Padma Patil and Terry Boot. The people around the table complimented each other about their choice of robes, gowns and dates while they watched the Headmaster and the other professors come into the Hall and take their places at the head table. The few Ministry officials that had been there for the sorting also appeared and took their seats. Harry and the other wizards were about to go fetch their dates some refreshments when a loud fanfare of trumpets echoed around the hall.

Everybody gasped and ducked, expecting another unwanted appearance by Minister Fudge but the Great Doors opened for the Four Champions and their dates. The first pair through the door was the Hogwarts Champion, Cedric Diggory and his girlfriend Cho Chang. Cedric had a set of impressive black robes with the Hufflepuff and Diggory family crests displayed on his chest. Cho's gown was baby blue with a few black highlights to match Cedric's robes. She would have looked breathtaking but unfortunately she was still shedding tears. "It's way too bad" Hermione whispered to Ginny. "Even when she's happy she has to carry a couple of handkerchiefs with her."

"Maybe she'll settle down by the time they get a few dances under their belts" Neville said.

"I wouldn't count on that" Terry Boot said. "I have it on good authority that Cedric went and special ordered those robes. They're drip-dry and cry resistant."

"He is a smart wizard" Harry said as he watched Cedric and Cho go to a spot on the dance floor. It was the honor and tradition that the Champions led off the festivities with the first dance. Everyone was very surprised when Viktor Krum walked through the door with someone other than Fleur Delacour on his arm. They had been dating, snogging, etc. since locking eyes upon one another in the fall. Tonight, however Viktor Krum had a Beauxbatons student that looked way too young for him.

Hermione nodded in understanding when the next Champion, Fleur Delacour, appeared with her escort for the evening. It was Reggie Mantle, a first year Ravenclaw who looked totally stunned and overwhelmed to be in the position he was in. "I bet Madame Maxine and Headmaster Karkaroff told them that they needed to find other dates for tonight and weren't allowed to bring each other. They've found dates they can switch with and therefor spend the evening dancing together."

Ginny chuckled. "I think that's a nice plan but I bet you those two go excuse themselves after the second or third dance and see if they can get out and back into their clothes in ten minutes."

"Why Miss Weasley, are you entertaining ideas of entertaining some other people in a similar manner?"

Ginny flushed and hid her head in Harry's shoulder. Harry patted her back and apologized for kidding her. Hermione leaned closer to her date and whispered just loud enough for Harry to hear. "Sorry but that was my idea but I think there's too many other couples here for us to try that."

Harry's mouth dropped open to the amusement of the other people at his table. They were so busy watching Harry being flummoxed that they missed the initial sighting of the last Champion. There was a gasp of total surprise and everyone at Harry's table turned to look at the Great Doors. Coming through them was Lord Voldemort in a blood red leather set of pants and a jacket. He was accompanied by someone Harry had never seen before but it was obviously someone Neville knew. "How dare they?" Luna had to act quickly to grab Neville's arm to stop him from rushing over and assaulting both Voldemort and his date.

Luna whispered some quick words into Neville's ear and then him quickly off to the side and out from the Hall. "What was that about?"

It was Terry Boot that answered Harry as the spectacle slowly made their way to the dance floor. "That's Bellatrix Lestrange, You-Know-Who's top female Death Eater. She's the one that tortured Neville's parent and drove them crazy. I can't believe she's here."

Bellatrix Lestrange was here. She was dressed in a tight, low-cut black corset top that displayed her shoulders, a lot of cleavage, and a tattoo just on the upslope of her right breast of a Care Bear with a small rainbow behind it. Harry shook his head as he saw the rest of her outfit. Her black feathered skirt was fastened with big brass buttons down the middle and was open to just above her knees. A long train was also part of the skirt and it ran back about 6 feet and was made up of feathers also. Five inch high translucent spiked heels completed Bellatrix's outfit. Harry saw that some of the young ladies from Beauxbatons and Hogwarts were quickly applying modifying spells to their own dresses to make them more revealing. Harry tried to avoid seeing what Ginny and Hermione were doing and he looked away. He saw something then that made him feel very sorry for Lucius Malfoy.

Lucius Malfoy was the train attendant for Bellatrix Lestrange this evening. He had to hold the end of Bellatrix's train off the ground to keep it from dragging, getting dirty or interfering with her turning or dancing. Harry could not believe that Voldemort had made him wear roller skates for this duty but that's what he had on his feet. Harry looked over and saw the shock and horror that appeared on Draco's face as he regarded his father. Voldemort and Bellatrix finally got to their place on the dance floor and the music started. Eight people were suddenly gliding and turning around following the steps of the formal dance. Sadly, one of those eight was not Lord Voldemort. He stood very still holding up his right hand as Bellatrix glided around and made the appropriate steps near the steadfast Dork Lord. That kept Lucius very busy as he wobbled and rolled this way and that while Voldemort smiled and tapped his toe in time with the music.

The pace of the music picked up and unfortunately also did the speed and changes that Bellatrix made in maneuvering around Voldemort. It only took a second but a misstep or a piece of inattention on Lucius Malfoy's part suddenly launched him away from the pair and clutching the end of Bellatrix's skirt/train.

A lot of very confusing things happened in the next five seconds but Harry's quick Seeker eyes reported the correct order to the absent Neville and Luna when they returned a little later. The first thing that happened is that Lucius couldn't stop his frantic movements with the back end of the train. He had somehow launched himself in a direct line toward a table that was filled up with Slytherins. He didn't let go of the material and that resulted in the skirt coming apart and being ripped off from Bellatrix's waist.

Girls hurried to cover their date's eyes as the skirt was torn from Voldemort's date. There was a sigh of relief when everyone saw that Bellatrix was wearing a pair of black hot pants under the skirt. When she twirled around in an effort to keep her balance on those stilettos Harry saw a very familiar logo. It was in orange and turquoise and was prominently displayed across the seat of Bellatrix's pants. One side said Chudley while the other side said Cannons. (Harry thought it was an awful shame that Ron Weasley wasn't in attendance. Who knew that Death Eaters followed professional Quidditch teams?)

Mr. Malfoy had totally loss any control he might have had over the roller skates and hurtled directly toward the table that held his son. Draco and his date, Pansy Parkinson, could not get out of the way in time to miss the impact of Lucius with their table. Goblets, silverware, napkins all went flying – along with three bodies. When the dust settled there was a shocked silence from almost everyone in the hall at the carnage that had happened. Draco had been knocked into the nearest refreshment table and was wearing an empty punch bowl on his head and had a number of jelly doughnuts and lady fingers staining his wet, expensive Italian silk dress robes.

Draco's date was knocked over and hit the wall pretty hard. When she came to her senses she looked around her and screamed. Everybody shuddered and looked away from the scene. It was just too horrible to look at or even think about. Lucius Malfoy had wiped out a table and all its settings but that wasn't the worst of it. Lucius had slid face first forward afterward until his progress was abruptly stopped. He ended up with his face deeply and firmly wedged between Pansy's legs and under her long gown. Luckily Madame Pomfrey was close by and applied a Silencing spell to Miss Parkinson to stop her hysterical screaming.

Once the screaming was over, Madame Pomfrey levitated the mortified girl up and toward the exit as Pansy probably needed some immediate potions to help her get over the trauma. The band had stopped with the impact of Lucius and the table and there was silence in the Great Hall.

Suddenly an unexpected chuckle was heard. Two, in fact. One was Lord Voldemort who was bent over double at the sight he had just witnessed. He and Bellatrix started applauding the unconscious Lucius for the fine amount of entertainment that he had just given everyone. Voldewart bowed to Dumbledore and he and Bellatrix just exited the Great Hall with as much dignity as they had entered it.

The other person laughing was an even bigger shock. It was Cho Chang, who had never been heard laughing before by anyone. The waterworks had stopped and she just leaned against Cedric, just barely holding herself upright in her amusement. It was very infectious, soon the whole room was just laughing and it increased even more as Lucius lurched to his feet and staggered widely out the door, falling twice more as the roller skates came out from under him.

Everyone ran up to congratulate Cho on finding her sense of humor but she just smiled, turned around, leaped into Cedric's surprised arms and gave him a very enthusiastic kiss.

The representatives from the Ministry of Magic, Barty Crouch Sr., Ludo Bagman and Percy Weasley were trying very quietly to sneak off the raised dais and disappear. All the pomp and circumstance and good press that the Yule Ball was supposed to generate had evaporated in a matter of seconds and they wanted to get away from the screwup. Harry saw what they were doing and quietly sent a tripping spell to catch the sneaky officials. The ensuing tumble allowed the press from the various countries to quickly corner and start questioning the Deputy Ministers and Minister Fudge's personal assistant.

The band began playing again suddenly and Harry noticed that Viktor Krum and Fleur Delacour were totally absent from the dance floor. Harry gave no more thought to them as he was tapped on the shoulder by Hermione. "I believe I'm supposed to get the first dance with you Harry."

Harry smiled and did a deep bow before Hermione Granger and suddenly noticed what she had done to her dress. There was now a slit up one side that almost went to Hermione's hip. Hermione flexed her knee just the little bit and Harry saw that she was wearing a pair of black fishnet stockings and that the one he saw was held up by a very lacy black garter belt. Harry choked on his own spit and Ginny pulled out a chair for him to sit on while Hermione thumped on his back. Harry was bent over for about thirty seconds trying to get his breathing back to normal. When he straightened up he found himself staring at Ginny's exposed knees that were just below the hem of her dress.

The redhead had altered her hemline so that the front of her dress was much higher than the rear. Harry swung around to see where Fred and George were but they were busy ogling their own dates altered gowns. Harry knew he was staring but only could get out a choked "Urfglked!" as he pointed.

Hermione leaned over and spoke to Ginny. "I think that means he approves of the changes Gin. Wasn't it lucky that Lavender knew those altering spells so well and had time to teach us? Harry, I hope you like our dresses better now? I just loosened a seam in mine but Ginny's is called mulleting for some reason or other."

Harry just nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Hermione smiled and held out her hand for Harry to take. He grasped it and Hermione led him out to the dance floor for a slow dance. Harry was a little nervous as Hermione pulled him closer but she smiled up and winked at him. "Ginny and I are going to make sure that you really enjoy this evening Harry." For some reason, Harry's glasses immediately fogged up. Hermione giggled and Harry felt her press herself into him a little tighter.

The Yule Ball was a huge success and the stuff of rumors, tall tales and legends for many years at Hogwarts.

Xxxx xxxx

The Second Task was scheduled for February 24th and speculation ran wild in the weeks before the event. Everyone knew about the small merpeople colony below Black Lake so where the task was going to take place was a given. What everyone was guessing about is what or who was going to be held captive for the Four Champions to rescue. Money was split almost evenly on Diggory's hostage – most of the girls thought it would be Cho Chang while a good number of the wizards from Durmstrang and Hogwarts thought that Cedric's Quidditch broom would be what was spirited away.

For Fleur and Viktor, almost no one had a decent idea about what "they would sorely miss". Viktor had a Nimbus 2000 that he used for competition and it was something that Harry could attest to that would be highly valued. There was a rumor that Fleur might have had a relative or two attending the Tournament but nobody at Hogwarts knew for sure.

And as for Lord Voldemort, neither Harry nor his friends could think of anything that the evil-mannered miniature Terror would actually go looking for. Ginny Weasley and a few others thought that it might be Bellatrix after the 'closeness' they saw at the Yule Ball. Ron, who Harry had half-way forgiven, hoped that it was Malfoy – "either one would be a good wanker to drown."

The night before the Second Task, Harry received a message to report to Professor McGonagall's office. When he got there, he started worrying about his own safety. Other visitors that got there before him were Madame Maxine, Headmaster Karkaroff, Cho Chang, a young girl that was the spitting image of Fleur Delacour, and a young man wearing one of Durmstrang's dark uniforms. They looked as confused as Harry was about being summoned and he thought about going and asking Cho Chang about what was going on.

Before he could do that however the door opened again and Dumbledore came into the office along with Barty Crouch, Ludo Bagman and Percy Weasley. Ginny had told Harry that her brother had become a personal assistant to Cornelius Fudge and was going to represent him at Hogwarts until the Tournament was over. Evidently, Minister Fudge was concerned (scared) about the possibility of meeting Lord Voldemort again. Harry and the others greeted the headmaster and he strangely stopped and waved back. Harry felt himself getting sleepy and he saw the other youngsters falling down from where they stood. There was a short period of unconsciousness and then Harry was being lightly slapped to be awakened. He looked up to see the Hogwarts Headmaster kneeling beside him.

"I'm sorry Harry but that spell was intended to take care of anyone under the age of seventeen. It put you into stasis for a few moments."

In struggling to regain his feet, Harry 'accidentally' kicked the Headmaster. "And I'm equally sorry you have to limp for a while. Why did you need us unconscious?"

Percy Weasley, being what he was, couldn't resist insulting his sister's friend. "Even an idiot like you Potter should know what day it is tomorrow. It's obvious that the other youngsters present are going to be the ones to be held captive for the Champions. Miss Chang for Mr. Diggory, Gabrielle for her sister Fleur and Viktor Krum's young cousin Ernst."

"Thank you Mr. Weasley for educating me. I'd already guessed that. Please don't tell me that I'm not to be the one being held for Lord Moldyshorts to rescue? I think he'd just as soon as leave me to drown rather than rescue me."

Ludo Bagman answered Harry's question. "No Mr. Potter, you are not to be the fourth captive. Arrangements have been made for that role but we have a favor we'd like for you to do for us."

"Us? Which us?"

"The Right Honorable Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic, commands you to help us root out some cheating in this tournament."

Harry didn't have to think about his reply. "That was indeed heartfelt and subtle Percy. You can tell your boss to commit a physically impossible act upon himself and find another flunky to do his dirty work for him."

It was Professor McGonagall that spoke to Harry then. "Would you at least listen to what they have to ask you Mr. Potter? It concerns the safety of the school and it's students?"

Harry sighed. They would appeal to the one thing he couldn't ignore – his friends. "I'm listening."

Barty Crouch came up close to Harry. "None of us in this room trust He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named."

"Well, duh! Do you suppose? So how does that involve me?"

"What we've obtained for Voldemort's captive is very dangerous itself. It is his pet snake Nagini. What we'd like you to do is follow Voldemort tomorrow and make sure he doesn't turn the snake on the other captives or release it onto the school grounds."

"Since when did I suddenly become an Auror or the Headmaster or even Professor 'Madeye' Moody? I would think that that would be right up their respective paid alleys."

Dumbledore came up right next to Harry. "Not one of us can speak Parseltongue or has an undetectable Invisibility Cloak Harry."

Harry sat down and scratched his head for a few seconds. "Okay" he said finally.

Percy clapped his hands together. "I knew you wouldn't turn down a direct order from the Minister."

"Stuff it Weasley, I'm definitely not doing it for him or you. Did you know you have a lot of brown on your lips and nose?"

Percy reached into his robes and produced a small mirror. "I just don't see it and you're the fourth one today to say something like that."

"Let me amend that. How did you get most of your head clean after having stuck it so far up your own arse for so long?"

"Well, I don't have to stay here and be insulted. I'll go inform the Minister that you're on board with the plan." Percy left the room as Harry rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry about young Weasley" Luda Bagman said. "He means well but…"

"He's an idiot." Harry smiled at Professor McGonagall's remark and stood up.

"Here's what we'd like you to do tomorrow Harry. When…"

"Hold on Mr. Crouch. You haven't heard or agreed to my terms yet."

"Harry" cautioned Dumbledore.

"Do you want my help or not?"

"Yes" said Bagman. "What do you want?"

"I want what you've offered the other Champions. Free passage through the end of the year exams with automatic "O" grades."

"I guess that's doable since you were originally picked."

"Illegally picked, but I want it for me and two other students."

"Miss Granger and Miss Weasley?" said Dumbledore.

"Yes, and I get to be the one to give _Professor _Snape a heart attack by telling him that."

Dumbledore's jaw dropped but Professor McGonagall looked to be almost on the verge or laughing. "I'll accompany you for that detail Mr. Potter."

Harry stared at Crouch and Bagman for a long time while they made their decision. The finally shook their heads yes.

"Now, I'll listen to your plan but you have to realize I might just alter it if I have too."

The adults and one fourteen year old wizard stood around McGonagall's desk until everybody understood what Harry was to do in the Second Task.

Xxxx xxxx

With all the excitement and anticipation of observing the Second Task, hardly anyone missed the presence of one green-eyed wizard on the morning of the test. Harry had of course told Ginny and Hermione of his bargain with the Tournament officials. Both were certainly concerned about his safety but Ginny hugged the stuffing out of her best friend's boyfriend when she found out. Hermione looked disappointed at first but Harry pointed out she could still take the exams and try to improve her scores anyway. Hermione smiled and made yet another note in her planner.

Harry had been up at dawn and had been taken down to the dock where he was to meet one of the merpeople. The captives had long ago been transferred and Harry had learned that Nagini was trundled up in a big burlap bag as nobody wanted the snake to even have a chance to become loose.

Just before he entered the water, Harry swallowed some of the Gillyweed that Professor Snape had provided. Harry had initially gagged at just smelling the weird looking plant. Professor McGonagall suggested that it be baked up in a cheese quiche to remove the awful taste and Harry was glad to pass that chore on to the house elves. They had come back in about two hours with three small pies that were guaranteed to keep Harry breathing underwater until the task was over for everyone.

Harry had also been given a communication bug to talk to Ginny or Hermione with. It was only about an inch long and bright blue with some green stripes. Dumbledore said it would allow him to talk and listen to the other person. Harry had grumbled but allowed the insect to go into his ear and fasten itself to his eardrum. Hermione had blanched at the long wavy feelers and legs of the insect but allowed Dumbledore to insert it into her ear. It had been a little weird at first talking to each other but Harry insisted he really needed to know what was going on at the surface.

At noon, the trumpets sounded again and unfortunately Minister Fudge arrived with the Deputy Ministers, Percy Weasley and a full contingent of press and photographers. He approached the raised platform to make a speech but somehow the trumpeters thought that was the signal for another fanfare. As Cornelius's voice was overridden, the four Champions appeared and made their way to the dock edge. Three were in bathing suits; one was not. Voldemort walked with a still weaving Lucius Malfoy but he had his regular clothes and a red cape about his shoulders.

"_Harry, it's about to start up here"_ Hermione whispered.

"_How's everyone doing?"_

"_Ginny and I are holding hands to keep from chewing on our fingernails. Cedric and Fleur look nervous to but Viktor looks like he's anxious to get going and rescue Cho. Vol… Volde…. Tom just looks very bored. How are you doing down there Harry?"_

"_Very pruney in spite of the water repellant spell. The merman escorted me down here and then left me alone. I'm just kind of treading water watching the four or walking along the bottom for a change. I haven't seen much of anything except a few grindylows. Oh and Niallghast swam by once. He came over and looked at…"_

"_Who's Niallghast?"_

"_Knock me over with a feather! I know something Hermione Granger doesn't know? Wow! Niallghast is the giant squids name; Hagrid told me that. He calls him Nigel for short. It obviously wasn't in Hogwarts: A History."_

"_So are the captives really being held in a jail?"_

"_No, they're floating tied to some ropes on the bottom of the lake. It's nowhere near the mermish village. We went by there on our way here."_

"_Sorry to interrupt you Harry but Barty Crouch is informing the Champions of the rules. I guess they're about to start. Please stay away from trouble!"_

"_I'm just here to watch and make sure Tom doesn't cheat."_

Harry quit talking then and Hermione started describing what was happening at the dock. Three of the Champions got close to the edge; Fleur and Cedric dropped the robes they had been wearing to hear quite a number of gasps. Cedric had been hiding a very impressive, muscular torso and a lot of the witches in the Hogwarts and Beauxbatons sections were suddenly wishing that the handsome prefect was rescuing them.

As for Fleur, what she was wearing could barely be considered a proper swimsuit. It seemed to consist of a lot of string and a few patches of triangular material that didn't cover up a lot of Fleur's body. Everybody had seen the French Champion naked during the First Task and a lot of photographs were suddenly being taken by the press and any wizard that could afford a camera. Hermione secretly was glad that Harry wasn't with her and ginny to see Fleur exposed like that.

Viktor Krum had on a sleeveless tunic and shorts that came to his knees. Hermione heard more than a few whispered comments from the girls around her about the handsome Bulgarian seeker.

All of a sudden a gunshot went off and the Champions dived into the water. At least three of then attempted to dive. Cedric and Victor sliced into the water and came up pointing their wands at themselves. Cedric waved to the crowd, created a bubble of air around his head and then dived downward.

Viktor resurfaced and the Durmstrang contingent rose to their feet. They began chanting. It wasn't words and only the muggle born on the Hogwarts side knew what it meant. _"Da-duh, Da-duh, Da da da da da-duh!"_

The chant repeated four or five times, getting louder and faster with each repetition until Viktor was satisfied. He turned his wand upon himself and Hermione saw his upper body and head transform into a shark. Everyone saw a powerful tail flip once and then Victor was gone.

Hermione turned back to the dock and then groaned._ "Harry, Fleur slipped while trying to dive and fell, hitting her head! She's completely unconscious. Madame Pomphrey and Headmistress Maxine are both trying to revive her."_

"_I bet they won't let her back into the water. Head injuries are tricky. I'll try getting her hostage out of here after the others are rescued."_

"_That's good Harry but You-Know-Who hasn't moved yet."_

"_Uh-oh. No way am I helping him; I'm not getting close to that snake."_

Ginny grabbed Hermione's arm and pointed. Ludo Bagman was talking rapidly to Malfoy senior and pointing out at the lake. Lucius was emphatically shaking his head 'No' and trying to push Bagman to where Voldemort was standing, examining his fingernails to see if they had been sharpened enough. Crouch came over to join the argument and the two eventually picked up Malfoy and tossed him toward Voldemort. Lucius fell sprawling at Voldemort's feet and got to his knees. He started talking to his Master and then pointing at the Ministry officials.

Voldemort erupted in anger, cursing in Parseltongue and actually turning dark red in the face. Stray lightning bolts started erupting from around him and unfortunately hit a few people. Ron Weasley ducked under the one coming at him but turned when he heard a very familiar voice. Draco had just arrived at the lake, fresh out from the Hogwarts infirmary. Unfortunately he would be going right back in. The lightning bolt struck him, knocking him unconscious, and burning the clothes off his body. Crabbe and Goyle tried to cover him up quickly but all the Slytherin witches had seen the size of his 'wand' and were laughing hysterically as they made their way back to their seats.

Meanwhile down below, Cedric had gotten enough information from the Hogwarts teachers (and Hagrid) to guess the location of where the hostages were. He swam rapidly toward the location and saw Harry lighting his wand up as a beacon to guide him in. Harry technically wasn't supposed to help anyone but there was nothing to say he couldn't use his wand to take a good look around the murky bottom. Cedric used his wand to cut the rope holding Cho anchored to the bottom and then spun around to give Harry a quick thumbs up before he started ascending back up to the surface with his girlfriend.

Meanwhile, in another part off the lake, Viktor Krum was having some difficulties. He had somehow wandered into an area full of tall weeds and Grindylows. They clutched at them until he had bared his formidable rows of teeth at them and scared them away. One thing that hadn't occurred to Viktor Krum, Igor Karkaroff, or anyone else from Durmstrang was the number of species that inhabited Black Lake. Picking a predator for its speed, power and ability to breathe underwater was certainly a good idea for Viktor to take. It might have worked except for one small detail. The natural enemy of sharks was (everybody say it with Hermione) - giant squids! Twenty five minutes into the task Viktor's sleek form attracted the attention of the lake's largest inhabitant.

All the students on shore, the Minister of Magic and his attendants and the Tournament officials and judges were very surprised when a giant tentacle came out of the lake holding a struggling shark. The tentacle whipped around once or twice and then released Viktor into a high arc toward the Forbidden Forest. Hagrid was out of his seat before the distant thud of a landing made everyone wince. Karkaroff was only steps behind him as they went to find the wayward Bulgarian.

"_Harry, Viktor's out. Nigel didn't like him being in the lake with him. He threw him into the Forbidden Forest."_

"_That's got to hurt. Hope Viktor thought of some way to slow himself down. On the bright side, Cedric has got to be close to being back to the dock. He was here and left a while ago."_

"_He's just surfacing now with Cho. They're both being helped out of the water and into warmed blankets. Tom hasn't calmed down yet to start getting into the lake."_

"_I am not going to save that snake. Or Nagini either."_

Hermione chuckled at Harry's joke but suddenly saw The Dark Lord had quit screaming and was staring at the surface of the water. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the lake. Hermione barely had time to warn Harry before Voldemort shouted something and the water between him and the hostages levitated up into the air, leaving a dry path for him to walk on.

It took fifteen minutes for Voldemort, followed by Malfoy, to walk to where the remaining hostages and a squirming bag lay on the slightly damp bed of the lake. Harry took the antidote to the Gillyweed and stepped through the invisible wall that separated the lake from the area that had been opened up. He looked up and saw where the water had gone; it was floating in a sort of big bubble about 75 feet above where the rest of the surface was.

"So what are you doing here Potter?" snarled Malfoy as soon as he got close enough.

"I'm backup just in case any of the Champions didn't get to their hostages."

Voldemort pushed Malfoy forward. "Quit wasting time with the boy. There's something wrong here; I can't sense Nagini. Get to the bag and open it."

Lucius looked at the squirming bag and carefully untied the rope that sealed it. He grabbed corner of the burlap and dumped it out. Instead of a giant snake, dozens of wriggling black eels came flowing out and lay about the ground. Voldemort screamed loud enough to be heard back at the dock. Everyone, including Harry, wondered what was going to happen next. The little but powerful wizard raised his arm and pointed it at the water floating lazily over their heads. Harry started inching toward the still motionless pair of remaining hostages.

"Master, no! There's a note." Lucius was waving a small piece of waxed parchment that had been lying in the midst of the all the eels. He brought it quickly over to Voldemort who unrolled it. He scanned it briefly and then slapped Lucius across the knee a number of times. "I… DON'T… READ… MERMISH, YOU IDIOT!" Lucius bent over to rub his knee and Voldemort slapped him up on side of his head.

"Dumbledore does" Harry said as he finished unfastening Gabrielle and Ernst. He cast a Mobilicorpus spell on the pair and started the long walk back to the dock.

"You best not be lying to me Potter" Voldemort said. He was very upset about the missing Nagini. Harry paused and turned back to address Voldemort and Lucius. "I don't know what happened to your pet. I didn't touch the bag and as far as I know Dumbledore is the only one that can tell you what the note says."

Voldemort grumbled but lowered the wand he had pointed at Harry. "Very well. Proceed."

It was a long quiet walk until they got within sight of the dock and the stands. The witches from Beauxbatons identified Gabrielle first and started cheering. They were soon followed by the contingent from Durmstrang and the students from Hogwarts who hadn't left the stands yet.

The cheering stopped when everyone saw the raw hatred on the face of Lord Voldemort. Harry climbed off the lake bed and he and his two charges were immediately surrounded by members of all three schools. Dumbledore fought through the crowd of people along with Bagman and Crouch. He woke up Gabrielle and Ernst and the pair were quickly whisked away to be checked by their schoolmates.

The crowd dispersed quickly as a furious Voldemort approached the place where Harry, Dumbledore and the officials were standing congratulating Harry. (Strangely enough Cornelius Fudge was nowhere to be found.) Harry was pushed aside as Voldemort started waving the note about in Dumbledore's face. The splash that the suspended water made as it crashed back into the hole in the lake was stopped by the wards around the dock.

The little red wizard was hopping up and down in fury. "My pet was not there! Just this note; Potter says you can read it. I want to know what happened!"

Dumbledore reached into one of the many pockets in his robes and brought out his spectacles. He put them on just as Hermione and Ginny came up to hug Harry and see on his condition. He reassured them that he was fine just as Dumbledore started reading the note.

"Let's see … it says: To the Champion with the snake… Your hostage woke up from the stasis spell… but didn't want to stay around. She… swam away, heading for the nearest dry land… We provided enough… eels for a couple of pies as compensation… We couldn't stop her."

"She's alive. She's alive. Quickly Lucius we must go locate her." Voldemort and Lucius hurried away heading for the path that lead around the lake. Everyone watched the tall and short person head away quickly but only Harry saw the sigh of relief that Dumbledore let out once they were gone.

Harry approached the Headmaster with Ginny and Hermione only a couple of steps behind him. "Tom's not going to get any points today, is he?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "I'm quite sure only Mr. Diggory will be scored as he was the only one to actually bring his hostage back. Thank you Harry for rescuing Miss Delacour and Mr. Blofeld. I'm sure that both schools will want to praise and honor you for your efforts after all the excitement has died down. I have been told that both the Beauxbatons and Durmstrang Champions will make a full recovery. I expect that they would like to see you and thank you personally for helping them out."

"Thanks sir but I just couldn't leave the hostages there. I'm just glad that everything turned out ok even though Voldemort has to go searching for his pet. Hopefully, he'll take better care of it from now on."

"He will be looking for the snake for a while. It's too bad that Tom doesn't know mermish." Dumbledore made a pass with his hand over the note and handed it to Harry. "We shall see you around Mr. Potter. Thirty points to Gryffindor for your assistance and bravery."

Dumbledore winked at Harry and nodded to Hermione and Ginny before hurrying to catch up with the other officials. The girls came up to look at the note with Harry and the three quickly began giggling. The giggling turned into outright laughter as they read the note that Dumbledore had translated for them.

"_To the Champion with the snake… Your hostage was quite impressive in size and strength… although the sleep spell rendered her helpless. The evil spirit within her was released during breakfast. Thank you for the gift…. She was delicious !"_


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 – Rewards and Other Things

Harry and his two closest friends were the only outside people initially allowed into the infirmary to see how Viktor and Fleur were doing after their misadventures during the Second Task. Harry had to endure a lot of pats on the back from the Durmstrang wizards who recognized that he had saved one of their school mates. The thanks he got from the grateful Beauxbatons witches were enough to make him a little hot under the collar and caused him no end of embarrassment after the first six kisses. Ginny and Hermione ended up protecting his back (and other things) from the young 'ladies' that wanted to pinch his bum and other features that Hermione had laid claim to.

Viktor Krum had transformed back to himself before he crashed into the Forbidden Forest. He received a little bit of luck as he fell into an area that had been abandoned by some acromantulas. After breaking an arm and a leg crashing though trees, he had fallen into an old giant web that stopped him from hitting the ground. He had been so wrapped up the sticky subject that Hagrid didn't try to free him but instead just pulled the whole web out of the tree and hauled him back in it. Madame Pomfrey was happy to see that a form of bandaging had already happened so she burned away the rest of the webbing and just poured a yellow potion over the Champion's leg. The arm was another matter and Madame Pomfrey healed it right up. Still Viktor had to stay in the infirmary for a couple of days to recuperate. His lungs (gills) had suffered from their sudden exposure to air in his flight and he had a little trouble breathing.

Viktor was resting propped up with a lot of pillows but was very happy to see Harry. He thanked Harry for bringing his cousin back so promptly; he confided in Harry that he had been told that the stasis spell would have worn out before anyone else could have went down there. Harry hadn't realized that there was a real danger to the other hostages but told the Bulgarian seeker that he was just there to make sure that a 'certain' Dark Wizard didn't cheat or injure other people. Viktor smiled and told Harry that wherever the Durmstrang or Bulgarian team played from now on, he would have some seats reserved for Harry's use. Harry couldn't stammer out his thanks fast enough but then his butt was suddenly grabbed from behind!

Fleur muttered out her apologies as she tried to get Harry into focus. The concussion from hitting her head on the dock had made her vision both blurred and doubled. She 'said' she was only trying to find Harry's belt but Hermione didn't really believe that for a second. The French Champion struggled to sit up but Ginny and Madame Maxine were both quick to make sure she stayed flat on her back. Harry suspected that it was the proper response to keep the patient resting but it might have had something to do with the fact that the girl was totally starkers under the bed sheets. Harry was pulled around into a distracting kiss by Hermione before he got a really good look at Fleur's treasure chest.

Madame Maxine, Fleur and Gabrielle insisted that Harry come to the giant coach that held the Beauxbatons ladies after Fleur was released from the infirmary. They wanted to provide an appropriate reward dinner for him because of his actions during that day. Harry accepted with the proviso that he could bring his girlfriends with him. That was acceptable to Madame Maxine but her question about Harry's stamina had both Ginny and Hermione a little worried about what form that 'Thank You' was going to take.

The three left the infirmary after Madame Pomfrey and the two visiting headmasters had dispersed the waiting crowd. Ron Weasley was especially disappointed as he had been trying to get Viktor's autograph since Durmstrang had arrived at Hogwarts. Circumstances or bad luck had prevented him from obtaining that. Of course, he was upset that Harry, Hermione and even his sister had been able to talk privately with the famous seeker. He ended up kicking a wall in frustration and actually broke his own foot in the process. So he ended up in the infirmary anyway and received an autograph from the world renowned Quidditch player. "To Rob Measles, Thanks for your support. Viktor"

Lord Moldyshorts reluctantly gave up the search for Nagini after two days but kept his henchman searching for another week (without bug protection or overtime). He was most bitter about his loss and took to consuming mass quantities of butterbeer that was liberally mixed with castor oil. He made a total mess out of himself and Harry found him one night crying at the bottom of the dungeon steps. He pulled Harry down beside him and leaned in to give him some confidential information. "I luved that sn..ake. Oh, I know everyone thinks I'm some sort of horbilled monster and usually I am but that Nagigggininini was something spec…spexshul. I found her egg and carried it around in my ve.. ves.. coat pocket to keep it warm since the dungeons I usually live in are so dam.. p… and cold. You tought to pry it sometime Pooter… Carrying a warm iggly ittle snape around in your pocket; feeding it mice and other insects…."

Gagging at the foul breath and even fouler mental image, Harry carefully detached Tom Riddle's hand from his knee and looked around for the wizard's jug. Voldemort had constantly been carrying it around for a few days as he tried to drown his sorrows over his missing snake. He picked it up and shook it – it was empty. Harry thought if he filled it with something, Voldemort might take it and leave him alone. So he used his wand and filled it with cool, clean water and put it on the ground a few feet away. He shook the Dark Lord and pointed out the jug to him. Voldemort used Harry's shoulder to lever himself to his feet and took one wobbly step forward. It proved too much for the evil wizard and he collapsed face forward onto the floor. Totally out! Harry shook his head, conjured up a blanket to cover the Fourth Champion, and carefully fastened a 'Kick Me' sign to the small lumpy pile. Harry walked away whistling "It's a Hard Knocks Life". Life was good some days.

It was strange how things happened during this Tournament year. Harry, Hermione and Ginny had accepted the invitation to supper at the Beauxbatons giant carriage a week after the Second Task. It was done over, or maybe because of, the objections of "Mad-Eye" Moody who thought that going to an enemy camp was a bad idea. Ron Weasley had compounded the issue by making the statement that the three were "traitors to Gryffindor and sorry arses for consorting with the French harlots" without being aware that Professor McGonagall and Madame Maxine were less than ten feet away from him. As a result of that miscue, Gryffindor didn't have to worry about winning the House Cup that year. Additionally, no one sat near the youngest Weasley boy because of the stench of the stables. Ron was punished by mucking out every night for the rest of the school term. (There was a rotation set up by the other members of the Gryffindor House that made sure that the Hippogriffs and Thestrals were especially well fed or had laxatives put into their food. Air freshening charms were quickly taught to all the students who had to be near Mr. Ronald Weasley.)

The three Gryffindors had arrived at the field where the giant carriage was parked. There was fenced pen nearby where the giant Pegasus, the Abraxans, were being held and fed. Hagrid had been happy to learn that the flying horses only drank single malt whiskey. The dozen aviators never missed the nip or two that Hagrid "tested" for authenticity and strength every day.

After knocking on the door, one of Madame Maxine's assistants led the three through some corridors to where they were to eat. It was obvious that the interior of the structure had been magically expanded to meet the needs of the French contingent. Harry and the two girls were led by study rooms, a small library, and a type of gymnasium where the ladies did their exercises. Ginny and Hermione kept a firm hold of Harry's hands to keep him from tarrying next to the open girls showers that were next to the gym.

It took another three minutes before they were led the room that they were to have dinner in. The door was opened and Harry let Hermione and Ginny precede him into the room. Inside was a table that had three girls waiting for them as well as Madame Maxine. The girls were Fleur and Gabrielle Delacour and one of their housemates who was introduced as Zoe Carpentier. The three French girls greeted their guests with hugs and kisses to the cheek and Harry tried to be polite and kiss the ladies hands. Madame Maxine, however, swept Harry up into a hug and kissed him soundly on the forehead. "Zhat is for bravery, young sir" she said with her heavy accent.

The dinner was excellent, a five course meal that was both nutritious and tasty without being too heavy or sleep-inducing. The seven had just about decimated a platter of petit fours before Harry pushed himself reluctantly back from the table. "That was an exceptional meal, Madame Maxine. I hope your chef could be persuaded to exchange some recipes with our house elves here. I think a small change in both schools menus would probably be welcomed."

Madame Maxine thanked Harry for his generous statement as a tray of tea was brought out as everyone thought to continue the discussions they had started during the meal. It was Fleur that started a different conversation with Harry as she brought him a cup of tea. After kissing Harry on the cheek again, she knelt down right beside him and folded her hands in her lap. "I wish to reward you for the service you have rendered to my family and my school Harry."

Harry was glad somebody or something had altered Fleur's amazingly annoying voice; instead of the high whiney voice that the school had cringed from during the initial selection, her voice was actually kind of soothing and sexy. Harry suspected that he should reward Madame Pomfrey with a box or two of her favorite pistachio brittle nougats for service to the world in general.

"You have thanked me already Fleur with your company and that excellent supper we just finished. You owe me nothing further."

"Zhat is not quite true Mr. Potter" Madame Maxine said as she stood. "Zhis is an honor bound reward that Fleur is obligated and feels she wants to give to you. In addition, Gabrielle, her sister, haz a life debt that she wishes to discharge in your favor as she haz no wish to become your concubine or slave at a later date. Zit must be accepted. "

Harry stood up angrily. "I will never ask or demand something like that. Surely there is some way that this can be settled without resorting to …Especially with Gabrielle; she is much too young."

"Zhat is why Miss Carpentier is here. Her family owes a debt to zee Delacour family and she has volunteered to become Gabrielle's substitute in this matter in exchange for having that debt discharged."

"So what exactly are we talking about here?" Hermione asked a little nervously. She was uncomfortable with the direction this conversation was going and wanted some clarification.

In reply, Madame Maxine motioned for the seated girls to stand. After Ginny, Hermione, Zoe and Gabrielle did this the table and chairs vanished. In its place, a very large feather bed appeared. Harry looked down and Fleur reached up and gently kissed Harry on the mouth. "Zoe and I wish to discharge our obligations by teaching you the ways to pleasure females in bed. As well as reward you for your heroism."

The three Gryffindors jaws dropped but Ginny was the first to respond. "How dare you? I will tell Professor McGonagall and Dumbledore about this… this…"

"…unwanted intrusion on Harry's private life" Hermione finished.

"Hey let's not be _too_ hasty. It is their customs and we are supposed to cooperate I the name of scholastic unity." Harry objected as Fleur squeezed his hand and unbuttoned another fastener or two on her jumper.

Madame Maxine was quite insistent. "It haz been approved by your Head of House, Headmaster Dumbledore and zee English and French Ministers of Magic. To refuse an honor of zis magnitude would be to insult Beauxbatons and zee French nation. And zhat also includes the father of Fleur and Gabrielle, zee French Minister. You would be insulting him personally as well as causing an international incident if you refuse this."

Harry turned and looked at the shocked faces of Hermione and Ginny. He wanted to refuse the 'honor' but was confused that it seemed to be an _official_ decision for him to accept. 'The sacrifices one had to make for one's school' he thought.

Madam Maxine stepped up to where Ginny and Hermione were standing. "Perhaps zhere is a way for zis to be acceptable for all parties. Miss Weasley and Miss Granger, zit is a common practice for the Veela of a certain age to be taught about zee intimate dealings between men and women by observing another couple being amorous. Because of zee recent heroics of Mr. Potter and what he has accomplished in his young life, Gabrielle has requested that her learning session be that of Harry, her sister and Zoe. If you would also like to be observers and learn of the sacred and private practices of sex, you may stay. Are you interested?"

Blushing to the maximum degree possible, Hermione and Ginny held a whispered conversation, glancing to Harry almost every other second. Harry didn't know if he was more relieved or scared when they nodded 'Yes' to Madame Maxine. The Beauxbatons headmistress waved her wand and three chairs appeared across from the bed. Harry had been watching his friends and when he turned and looked back Zoe and Fleur had stripped down to their bras and knickers and were reaching for his belt. Harry was aghast that the ladies were so forward but Ginny and Hermione were now interested in seeing the show (and Harry) and just smiled at him.

He sat back on the bed and concentrated on the faces of the two girls who were quickly stripping him of his outer garments. There was a muffled shout from Hermione and Harry looked up in time to see Madame Maxine also begin undressing. "I also wish to reward you Harry Potter for what you have done for Beauxbatons."

Panicking greatly but thinking quickly, Harry asked if he could defer that particular honor to someone who had been really instrumental in teaching Harry spells and how to be responsible. Madame Maxine paused and asked who Harry was referring to. Dreaming that Professor Snape hopefully might not survive a very close encounter with the tall lady, Harry instead listed Hagrid. That brought a smile to Madame Maxine's face and she fastened up the buttons on her blouse. "Zhat is acceptable to me Harry and I will tell Rubeus how highly you think of him."

(Harry began receiving a small bottle of Ogden's Finest Firewhiskey every month for the rest of his days as a student of Hogwarts after that weekend. Hagrid smiled broadly every time he saw Harry and always gave him a knowing wink and a nudge.)

Madame Maxine finished redressing and conjured up a larger chair for her to sit in. She also answered Hermione's unasked question and a set of ink, quills and parchment appeared before the bushy haired girl. She waited until the three girls were settled before she addressed Harry again.

"You will find a blue potion near the head of zee bed Harry and you need to drink it totally before you go any further. Zit is a Veela potion called _'Viagarous Persistra'_; zit will ensure that you and your bedmates tonight will be guaranteed zee most enjoyable time. For four hours, your ardor will not flag or wilt even after any number of consummations. Yes Miss Granger, you and your friend may have zee recipe. We will cast a privacy shield so you will not hear my descriptions and comments to your girlfriends and Gabrielle. Zee three of them will also be hearing Fleur and Zoe instructing you about pleasuring a female. Do not be surprised if Fleur or Zoe demonstrates some of the lessons on each other. Zit is often an arousing sight for a male as well as being pleasurable to the females involved."

(Madame Maxine cast the Disillusion, Silencing and Notice-Me-Not spells around herself and the three young ladies as the two girls on the bed and Harry finally removed the rest of their clothes. The first question came, of course, from Gabrielle. "No, zhat is not a side effect of zee potion Miss Delacour; that is Harry's actually size. Miss Granger and Miss Weasley are going to be very lucky young ladies someday." The gobsmacked smiles of the two girls from Gryffindor caused Gabrielle to become a little bit jealous.)

Madame Maxine then listed the various contraceptives spells that were available for witches and the two that wizards could employ on themselves to stop pregnancies from occurring. (Also that Veela were, by nature, immune from catching or spreading any diseases of the sexually active. Hermione and Ginny breathed a sigh of relief at that bit of medical knowledge.) After that there were a lot of gasps of surprise and pleasure in the room and the brightest witch of her age totally forgot about taking notes. There were a number of breathless people in the bed and in the room in a matter of minutes but Hermione was quickly drawing diagrams.

Xxxx xxxx

It was toward the middle of May that Harry woke up one morning to two horrible realizations. The first was that the supposedly dead wizard, Peter Pettigrew had been casually walking around Hogwarts since Halloween. In front of Dumbledore, Aurors, the Minister of Magic and even the press! Harry was more than a little confused how a dead man (that wasn't a ghost) could roam around so easily. His dogfather had been convicted and sentenced to Azkaban partially because he had been accused of killing one Peter Pettigrew.

Harry finally had to resort to making an appointment with Dumbledore as he was very busy helping administering the Tournament and doing all his other duties. While he had delegated a few of his lesser chores to Professor McGonagall Dumbledore was still operating as Headmaster, Chief Wizard of the Wizengamot, Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, Head of the Noble House of Dumbledore, Chief Test Pilot of the Lumpready Broom Company, Chief Scorekeeper for the Northern Scotland Caber Tossing League and Head Taste-Tester for the Ankle-Biters Candy Company. After waiting for a week for his application and security clearance to be inspected by Professor Moody, Harry was finally given permission to see Dumbledore in his office.

The revolving stair to Dumbledore's office first had to be cleaned off of the Beauxbatons ladies who were practicing exotic dance moves on it. Harry managed to lure most of them away with a small carousel complete with poles that they could polish their moves on. For the two that were left on the steps, Harry practiced a small conjuring spell that the Weasley twins had taught him. The mirrored Disco ball's rotating lights and music (Boogie Oogie Oogie) drew the last two girls and they followed it down the corridor doing the Funky Chicken and the Electric Slide as a small group of first year Ravenclaw boys followed them and tried copying their moves. (Three of those junior students were hospitalized with back spasms and disco-nnected eyeballs but they were released from the infirmary in time for final exams.)

When Harry got to Dumbledore's office, he didn't exactly see the wizard himself. Dumbledore's desk was overflowing with paperwork, caber scorecards, half-opened bags of sample candy, and other sorts of official and unofficial debris. Harry could have sworn he saw a broom that had the twigs on both ends. He later found out from Ron it was the newest model of the infamous Willy Coyote series that could reverse direction instantaneously but usually left its rider hanging in midair for a few seconds. Then the rider could see how well they could employ a self-hovering charm and summon the broom back to them. (The series is still famous for the emergency umbrella survival kit of course.)

Dumbledore's voice came out from behind the pile and asked Harry how his day was going. "My classes are fine sir but I wish to talk to you about Peter Pettigrew. He's been working for Lord Voldemort and I was wondering if you could use some of your authority to have him arrested and held until Sirius Black could have a proper trial."

"I'm getting to that Mr. Potter. Serious mix up that. Oh, my bad. I inadvertently made a bad joke. Serious-Sirius. You must excuse me for the poor taste. It is on my schedule to have him taken care of. Now where is that appointment pad? There it is. Let's see- baloney orders, bedbug checks, bird bath inspections, Burger Brothers takeout menus, Black (Sirius). There he is. I'm scheduled to take care of that in July. July 2nd."

Harry was excited to feel that his godfather might be freed soon but Dumbledore's next words dashed his hopes. "That's July 2nd, 2011. I'll be right on it. I do have some cancellation openings in 2008 if you think Sirius might like the matter settled before then."

"That would be great Headmaster. Could you pencil him in for a definite earlier appointment then?"

"I'm afraid the Ministry has taken over that chore of scheduling for me. If you'll write a quick owl to a Madame Umbridge in the Minister's office, I'm sure she will get right on that change."

"Could the Minister of Magic do something about Wormtail, I mean Pettigrew, before then?"

"That might be difficult Harry. The Minister is quite busy in promoting this Tournament to the wizarding world. I'm not sure he will take time away from his ad campaign for Challenger Wart Remover and Mouthwash. And then there's that silly campaign promise that Minister Fudge made."

"Campaign promise Headmaster?"

"Minister Fudge was elected on the promise that he would remain neutral in making political decisions. That way no one could accuse him of bias or favoritism toward one side or the other. It's a very fickle magical community you are growing up in Harry and the Minister doesn't want to risk losing his office by actually making a bad decision. Perhaps a suitable contribution to the Minister's reelection effort might gain some favor with the man."

"Thank you for your time sir."

"That's quite all right Mr. Potter. Any chance I can brighten up a student's day is a good day for me. Would you like a sample of the banana-liverwurst-succotash bubble gum?"

"As tasty as that sounds headmaster, I think I'll take a pass. Don't want to ruin my supper but I think Ron Weasley might like some."

"He's already tried some; unfortunately he seems a tad bit allergic to them. Madame Pomfrey is still working on removing the extra eye that is growing on the side of his neck."

'And he so wanted a brain' Harry thought before standing up. "Thank you Headmaster for your time."

"Glad I could be of help Harry."

Harry left the office wondering why he just hadn't gone and seen Hermione first with this problem instead of filling out the application and submitting to the blood and fingerprint testing for Professor Moody. Seeing that she could be found in only one place any time she was conscious, outside of classes, not sleeping or snogging him, Harry made his way to the Hogwarts library and found his girlfriend reading her normal complement of six books simultaneously.

He snuck up behind her and surprised her with a hug from the rear. After blocking the book that came at his head, Harry identified himself. Hermione apologized. "I'm so sorry Harry; I thought it was that Malfoy creep again. He just doesn't give up on trying to snog me."

"But I thought he was gay."

"Well he seems to be but his father must keep telling him he has to increase his Harassing and Intimidation score."

"A what?"

"A semi-official document that tracks how young wizards do in certain areas of etiquette and personal interactions."

"There's a competition for that?"

"Only for the Slytherin boys. It was in Hogwarts: A History. A time honored tradition for the fathers to wager on their sons activities while they are here at Hogwarts. It's supposed to be a training guide for how they are to run the Slytherin families and businesses after they graduate."

"Draco must have a really bad score. He has messed up about everything he's attempted."

"And if you add in the number of times his wand has been broken and the time he's spent in the hospital you can understand that his father has lost a lot of money on him so far. That's why he keeps trying; Draco thinks I'm an easy target and getting extra points for picking on me specifically."

"But you're not. What did you do to him the last time he tried anything?"

"That would have been yesterday morning after breakfast. He tried to hit me with a spell but missed. I fused his feet together so he would have to hop around all day; I think it was Fred that added the pink bunny suit and ears. Nothing major but Professor Snape became most upset."

"Draco is his prize student."

"No, he thought Malfoy had taken the outfit from Professor Snape's own closet."

"I'm not sure I want to know anything else about that particular subject Hermione."

"Me neither. So how did your meeting with the Headmaster go?"

"Not so good. He's scheduled up until the next decade. I hate to ask for your help after all you've done for me over the years but I really need to get back at Pettigrew."

"I'm not killing anybody, even for you Harry."

"No, no, no. Nothing lethal, I want to have Peter put on trial so I can clear Sirius' name. It's just not fair that my godfather is in hiding while Wormtail sits down to supper with Tom as if he doesn't have a care in the world."

"Okay, I'll help you but you owe me a favor."

"Anything Hermione. You're a brilliant witch and a wonderful girlfriend."

"You've been rather shy around Ginny and I since that 'lesson' with the Veela. I think that should stop. Your being shy I mean."

"I..I didn't want to scare you off or seem to just be another horny git."

"We don't think of you like that."

"That's good to know. So what do you want?"

"If you want to help us with some language lessons, we'd really appreciate it Harry."

"O…kay but I'm pretty sure you already know more Latin than me and you and Ginny are no slouches in expressing yourself."

Hermione brought Harry's ear down to her mouth. Harry had to concentrate because he was getting one of the rare glances down his girlfriend's jumper. It was something he really liked to do. "Ginny and I both liked the way you seemed to learn your lessons at the hands of Fleur and Zoe. We hoped you might want to try being a cunning ling…

Harry jumped and turned red at the not so subtle invitation. "Are you sure Hermione?"

Hermione winked at her boyfriend. "Very sure, Harry."

Harry gulped audibly. "Seems like a more than a fair trade. But remember I've only tried it once."

"We'll just ask for your best efforts Harry. And Pettigrew will never know what hit him."

Xxxx xxx

Three days later a barn owl nervously landed in front of Lord Voldemort during the morning mail call. Harry, Hermione and Ginny were watching anxiously from the Gryffindor table to see what happened next. To be fair only Harry seemed anxious. Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley were smiling so hard that some suspected that they had been cursed with a Muscle-Lock spell. For the few that asked, the girls just cryptically told them that they had a few happy moments that culminated in something climatically amazing. The rest of the Gryffindors wondered why the two witches giggled whenever they saw Harry licking his lips. This morning though Harry wasn't blushing at that reaction.

Lucius Malfoy reached for the attached letter and gave it to Voldemort. The small wizard read it quickly and then crumpled it in his fist, dropping it to the ground. He immediately left the Slytherin table although Malfoy and his son had to fetch and carry the plates he had been eating out of. Harry breathed a sigh of relief; they had gotten away with it.

Xxxx xx

The previous night, Peter was returning from his normal 9 o'clock run to the Hogwarts kitchens to fetch his master some pudding for his late evening snack. (Voldemort didn't deal with house elves; he wanted his real servants to do things for him.)

Peter was about to descend into the dungeons when some white and lumpy items on the floor attracted his attention. Bending over, Peter saw and smelled something delicious- cheese curds! Hurriedly dumping out one of the cups of pudding, Peter picked the cheese curds up to put it in the cup. He soon found another… and then another. There was a trail that led up to the third floor and through an empty doorway. Peter had gotten so hungry by then that now he was eating as much as he picked up. He walked through the doorway of the vacant classroom and saw a full bag of curds on the teacher's desk. The door suddenly slammed shut behind him and he heard "Stupefy"!

When Peter woke up a little while later, he found he was wandless and tied to a chair. Well, mostly tied to a chair; Peter still had one arm free. Three figures dressed in black cloaks and hoods were standing around the desk and had their wands pointed at him. The tallest one addressed him in a very sinister voice. "Before you think about transforming Mr. Pettigrew, you might want to take a look around."

When Peter looked around he saw an orange cat that belonged to Harry Potter's muggle girlfriend. Right next to him was Mrs. Norris, Filch's guard cat. Right next to them… Wormtail gulped as he realized his captors had managed to collect all the stray cats in Hogwarts (and probably Hogsmeade as well); there had to be almost fifty of them crowded into the room. And all the cats were eyeing him hungrily.

"We know you smell pretty attractive to them normally but we took the liberty of soaking you in milk and stuffing tuna fish in your pockets before we woke you up. You can cooperate or we'll just leave you here with them and go see if Hagrid knows the location of some forest leopards. There have been reports of something huge and catlike wandering around the Forbidden Forest lately."

"What do you want?" Peter was deathly afraid of cats. He didn't want to be left alone in this room.

"We want you to write a couple of letters for us. The first is a full confession stating that you were the secret keeper for James and Lily Potter and the one to betray them to Lord Short and Ugly. And that Sirius is innocent."

"I will not betray my master. You must be Harry. You should let me go based on my friendship with your parents."

Wormtail suddenly had a wand pushed up against his Adam's apple. "I may be Harry Potter – I may not be Harry Potter. I'm very interested in justice either way. Does it really matter who cuts your head off at this point of time?"

"My master will come for me. He won't leave me here captive."

"Your master is currently digging into a double chocolate cherry calamari cheesecake that arrived from Honeydukes with your name on the sender's line. He's much too busy for the time being to even think of you."

Peter's head slumped as he knew the statement to be correct. Lord Voldemort had turned into such a tubby little glutton since his aborted resurrection. He was truly alone now.

"You will release me when I write these letters?"

"Yes, but you should know that these will be brought to Voldemort's attention soon afterward so you might not want to run back and seek forgiveness."

"You are a diabolical sort aren't you?"

"I've been observing the monstrosity you follow. Don't blame me if he's so good at it most of the time."

A quill, parchment and ink suddenly appeared on the desk. Peter hesitantly wrote out his confession under the watchful eyes and wands of the three people. He finished and pushed it across the desk to the person who spoke to him. The first captor made a pass with his wand and two copies suddenly appeared. Each person took a copy and placed it in their robes.

"So what is the second letter you want me to write?" Peter asked

"Just take up your pen and write what we tell you."

Peter grumbled but wrote what his captor dictated:

_To His Exalted Dark Lord Voldemort, _

_Please excuse my absence from your magnificent presence for a short while. I have heard a report of a giant snake matching Nagini's description being found and being sent by boat to the zoo in either Pago Pago, Bora Bora or Walla Walla. I know how much you miss your pet and I will try returning her to you as fast as I can. Or die trying. _

_Your humble and faithful servant, Peter Pettigrew_

Once he had finished the letter, it was snatched off the table by the tallest wand holder. He (or she) read it and then nodded to one of the others. The ropes binding Peter fell away and he stood and stretched.

"Thank you for keeping your word."

"No problem Wormtail."

"Stupefy!" Peter tumbled to the ground again and Harry took off the hood he had been wearing. "I promised to release you and I did. I made no guarantee how long you would remain free. Hermione?"

A wave of the second's wand and all the cats in the room save Crookshanks disappeared. "Very good illusion, my love. He bought it."

Hermione kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. "Just like you said Harry; he's a craven coward."

Ginny laughed and pushed a large trunk next to Peter's sleeping body. Harry levitated the Death Eater into it and cast a stasis spell he had learned on the balding wizard. "He'll stay that way until the spell is cancelled. And Voldemort won't go looking for him as he's on an important mission. Tom won't be able to find him by the dark mark on his arm either. All any spell will find out about this trunk is that it bears the mark of the Magical Postal Service. It is a crime to tamper with the mail after all."

Hermione giggled. "So where and when are you having it delivered?"

"It's going to Madame Bones in the DMLE on the morning after the final task is scheduled. I think that's her birthday and I couldn't think of anything else to get her."

Ginny brandished her wand and the trunk was covered with colorful wrapping paper and a small sign that read 'Do not open until June 22nd'.

Harry nodded his approval and grabbed up Hermione in a great hug. "You are truly brilliant Hermione; this worked just like you planned."

Hermione smiled and just linked her arm up with her boyfriend's. "And now it's time for your part of the bargain."

"The Room of Requirement mi'lady?"

"Yes kind sir."

Ginny shrunk the trunk down and picked it up to put in her pocket. She looked at the couple in front of her and called out to them as she hurried to catch up to them. "Don't start without me. I want to hold Harry's wand!"

The round of laughter from the three never made its way to the silent still shrunken form of Peter Pettigrew.

Xxxx xxxx

Harry watched Voldemort and the two Malfoys walk away from the Great Hall. One of his very worrisome problems seemed to be resolved. It was the other one that was still causing him to lose sleep however.

There was only about a month left in the Tournament with the Third Task scheduled for June 21st. After someone retrieved the Tri-Wizard cup from the center of the maze on the Quidditch pitch, Voldemort would be free to carry out his threats against the other Champions and one Harry Potter in particular. Harry knew of no way of avoiding this outside of hoping that the creatures inside the maze would prove too formidable and kill The Dark Lord. Harry immediately loss both his appetite and his ability to relax and enjoy and good night's sleep. He had been somewhat functioning for the last two weeks on short naps and nibbling on whatever food his stomach could hold down.

Even Hermione's and Ginny's offers to reduce his stress and make him sleep more soundly were politely rebuffed. Harry got a lot of extra reading done in the Gryffindor common room and had finished his homework for the year and revising for finals. Even Hermione had been impressed with that.

Bored beyond measure, Harry took to wandering the halls of Hogwarts after curfew. With the invisibility cloak hiding him from sight and the Marauder's map to warn him of who was lurking about, Harry found out a good deal about some of the denizens of the school. The ghosts staged elaborate dances once or twice a month in the abandoned sections of the school. The first night Harry had discovered this he had hid behind a door and listened to Count Basie, Janis Joplin, Buddy Holly and Freddie Mercury. There was an announcement of upcoming dances and Harry regretted that he probably wouldn't be making the dance the night of the Third Task. That night Harry Chapin and John Lennon were going to be the acts as well as a get together Big Band led by Glenn Miller. Harry reluctantly left the old ballroom after getting his fix of nostalgic music.

He immediately found out why Filch was so grumpy most days. The Hogwarts caretaker stayed up most nights playing hopscotch by himself or with a pair of the house elves that seemed to be habitually drunk on butterbeer. In spite of their inebriated condition, Filch lost game after game after game. Add the loss of sleep to his frustration and it was no wonder that Filch had a hatred of any student in the school. Filch thought that he wasn't good enough to compete in the Hogwarts Open Muggle Sports Competition that was held every year between St. Brutus's Day and International Flobberworm Day. Harry felt a little bit of sympathy for the old man after overhearing his complaints about the world in general.

Overhearing other conversations was another bonus of wandering around after curfew. Despite the fact that the halls were supposed to be deserted, it was amazing how many people were out and about. Students, prefects, teachers as well as some people from the Ministry of Magic were discovered by Harry doing various activities during the hours of night.

Aurors in training were practicing following other wizards and witches around Hogwarts every Tuesday night. Under the cloak Harry secretly helped or hindered the efforts of one side or the other. He was particularly fond of helping one of the youngest aurors –'Don't-call-me-Nymphadora' Tonks. She was a relative of his godfather and Harry helped her whenever he could by making sure that the people following weren't tracking her by the sound of everything she knocked over. Harry led some of the more experienced aurors into the girl's loo where they could get a chance to talk to Moaning Myrtle. Harry learned a lot about disillusionment spells and other means of disguising himself by watching the manner of the auror training.

Some of the other conversations that Harry heard between curfew and sunrise were either too creepy or too personal. He didn't mind finding out about the betting pool that the Weasley twins had going about the Third Task but discovering that some of his classmates and instructors were actively wagering on him was a little surprising considering he had no intention of ever entering the maze. That the broom closets were being utilized for non-storage related activities was not especially an earth-shattering discovery but some of the combinations Harry saw on his map were… interesting. Malfoy, Parkinson and Goyle were sort of expected but Susan Bones, Tracey Davis and Neville in a fourth floor classroom was a complete surprise. Harry was glad that his dorm mate had found a way to overcome his shyness. Harry finally understood why Neville had been smiling a lot more in the last month.

One night near the end of May, Harry had his ear pressed to the door of a usually abandoned classroom. It didn't take him very long to figure out who the speaker was. "I sense the spirits are approaching and while the portents can be disastrous, their real meaning cannot be disputed. It is a fate welcomed by some but I sense a real power and a second coming arriving shortly. You are touching some specific points of interest here spirit and the results are far beyond my expectations. Please let me continue to center myself so that I may fully appreciate this interaction with the beyond."

Curiosity won out over caution that night and Harry just had to open the door. He immediately wished he hadn't and retreated quickly down the corridor to consider his future classes. Trelawney. And Professor Binns. Naked as jaybirds. And doing something with a Ouija board that was never a part of any official Divination class. It was a 'vision' that distracted and haunted (so to speak) Harry for almost a week – keeping him even farther from sleep.

It finally took a Sleepless draught from Madame Pomfrey to knock Harry out for a day so that he didn't look and sound like a zombie that they discussed once in DADA. Unfortunately, the effects didn't last very long. It was only a week before he found himself wandering the halls again in an effort to find some solace (or at least the fifth year Ravenclaw witches Streaking Club).

There was one final conversation that Harry overheard that restricted him to his dorm at night until the final task. It was held at one of the lower Dungeon levels that Harry had resorted to wandering to find the cell Professor Snape was sleeping in. The prank Harry wanted to pull on the instructor was unimportant but involved a feather, an aardvark, 200 pounds of beeswax and a magically delicious bit of caramel corn.

Needless to say, all thoughts of that quickly went by the wayside once Harry heard the conversation between Lord Voldemort and a voice Harry had never heard before. The little red wizard was very serious as he discussed the very subject Harry had been obsessing about.

"Are the preparations final for the cemetery?"

"Yes the kettle has been ordered. All we are waiting for is for one of the other three Champions to grab the Tri-Wizard cup. Then we can perform the ritual to return you to your regular form and get revenge on Potter and everyone else that has been laughing at you."

"And the fool Harry Potter doesn't even realize that we are going to use his blood to get our revenge!"

Harry had heard enough and ran silently away. He didn't want to know any more about his fate. He did check the Marauder's map on returning to the Gryffindor dorm room. He found Tom Riddle standing next to a Barty Crouch Jr.; the only Barty Crouch Harry knew was a ministry official. Harry wondered if Fudge was in with Voldemort or Crouch had been Imperiused to betray him. Harry didn't know who to reveal this to; Dumbledore was out of touch (in more ways than one) and Harry couldn't even begin to guess who else in the Ministry of Magic was out to get him. Harry resolved to avoid all the Tournament officials in the time left before the last task.

Harry was still crying and feeling very sorry for himself when Hermione and Ginny came down from the girls dorm. They wouldn't rest until Harry told them why he was so upset. Harry told them about what he had overheard and they were likewise affected. They fell into a three-way hug that turned slowly into a snog fest and then into something completely different. Hermione was in the middle of a very vigorous exercise with both Harry and Ginny when she had to ask a question.

"Harry? Harry? Please continue on, but Tom Riddle said he would get his revenge after one of the three other wizards took the Tri-Wizard Cup?"

Harry had not taken a Viagarous Persistra potion and was quickly reminded about his fate. His performance and manhood came (or didn't come) to a sudden drop and he fell on his back hitting a pillow on the couch in frustration. So did Hermione and Ginny but both quickly hugged the wizard with the scar on his forehead.

Harry had started to cry again but Hermione raised his head up. "Fear not lover, I have an idea."

Xxxx xxxx

Next up: The Task to End It All


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 – The Task to End it All, partt 1

Nothing very much exciting happened between the second task in February and the end of May. There was of course the fallout from the Weasley twins birthday on April 1st. They had even outdone themselves in pranking both the school in general and a member of the Hogwarts staff. The incidents happened at breakfast. When the Slytherins had marched into the Great Hall behind Professor Snape, all of the other House tables became silent. Only the wizards from Durmstrang and the witches from Beauxbatons kept up their morning chatter. The entering party, being Slytherins, none from that house noticed anything different and just calmly took their seats and waited for their House head to seat himself.

As he sat, a fanfare of trumpets sounded and everyone turned their heads to the Grand Doors to see if Fudge was making an unwelcome entrance again. Seeing nothing happening, everyone relaxed. It was Cho Chang's laughter that rang out first and everyone looked to where she was pointing. Every member of the Slytherin House had turned completely green. And the reason everyone knew that they were completely green is that their robes had disappeared; along with every bit of underwear that the young ladies and men had worn (or not worn) that morning. In place of their clothes, strategically placed dark green leaves appeared over the various attractive and unattractive parts of Slytherin anatomy. Since neither Professor Snape not Dumbledore could cancel the spell, it was decided that the Slytherins would be excused from classes for the day in an effort to spare them further humiliation. Dumbledore conjured up a very long wool blanket for the Slytherins to cover themselves until everyone else exited from breakfast.

Professor Snape was still railing and threatening to take points from any and every student in the hall when he must have said a magical phrase. Some thought it was "arrogant" but others guessed it was "insufferable", "Harry", or "Potter". Whatever the trigger word was, it caused a very dramatic event to occur. A minor whirlwind enveloped and obscured Professor Snape for a period of thirty seconds. When it vanished, the students from the three schools start laughing. Professor Snape appeared wearing a rainbow-striped dress, wooden platform shoes, a towering tutti-frutti headdress and castanets on all his fingers. While some of the braver members of the student body called out for Snape to give them a song and dance number, Professor Trelawney swept up the Potions Master in a fierce hug. Professor Binns started crying at that point and floated off through the wall. His resignation was turned in the school shortly thereafter.

Snape tottered out of the hall trying to remove the Divination teacher from around his neck. Faced with the loss of at least two or three instructors, Dumbledore cancelled classes for the day and the professors all left the Great Hall. The students from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw houses quickly joined the Gryffindors in raising Fred and George onto their shoulders and parading them around the room. Harry noticed that the forgotten students from Slytherin had not joined in the celebration and banished the concealing blanket from their grasp.

As the Slytherins ran from breakfast with hands flying and leaves tumbling, the rest of the students made sure that they had plenty of breakfast to accompany them. Food from the breakfast trays and plates were thrown at the scantily clad students by everyone except for Ron Weasley. He was enjoying the empty chairs by eating everything in sight. In fact he was still there at lunch time and only belched once before starting on the noon meal.

It was also soon common knowledge that Madame Pomfrey had to deal with a sudden rash of students for the rest of that day. (And quite a rash it was.) The poor showing in Herbology by the Slytherins was evidenced by the fact that not one of the students recognized that the leaves that had adorned them so smartly at breakfast were actually poison oak. Slytherins were the subject of scale molting jokes for many weeks even after they finished scratching and rubbing against everything (including each other) in trying to relieve their itches.

The students from Hogwarts, Durmstrang and Beauxbatons took advantage of the unexpected day free from classes and professors by wandering around the grounds, studying in the library, snogging their significant others or just enjoying the sunshine.

Two of the Champions, Fleur and Viktor, thought they had found the perfect hiding place to enjoy an afternoon tryst. The top of the giant Beauxbatons carriage was hidden from any type of observance from the ground. They were thinking with other parts of their anatomies rather than their brains when they began making out. The Quidditch pitch was right next door to the carriage and an increasing number of casual flyers stopped games to quietly observe the couple. Also an enterprising Ravenclaw tried selling tickets up to the observation platform in the Astronomy Tower for a 'rare and breathtaking alignment of interesting bodies'. The third-year student was quickly trampled by the rush of interested parties after the Hogwarts rumor mill distributed the news.

Lord Voldemort was surprised when the contingent of almost nude witches and wizards ran by Snape's office in the dungeons. Sending Lucius to find out what the occasion was, he thought he would just make a trip to the Hogwarts kitchens to get an after breakfast breakfast. He had heard of a race of mystical creatures, called Hobbits, that ate six meals a day. He thought that would be a wonderful idea to institute once he had conquered magical England. Then he could have all the food that the muggleborn wasted by actually eating it; once he killed them all and the muggles there would so much food left over for him to eat. Unfortunately, Tom Riddles daydreams of power and food distracted him. He misstepped on one of the dungeons steps, slipping in his own drool and hit his head(again). He tumbled down the stairs and was unconscious by the time he finally came to rest in the shadows under a sculpture of Belinda the Barbarianess; Scourge of the Country of Lower Pottsylvania (1324-1401).

When Lucius finally found and revived him hours later, the Diminutive and Dark Lord was upset to discover that he had missed lunch. After "Crucioing" Malfoy Sr. a number of times, Voldemort sent him down to Hogsmeade to find and bring back his favorite pizza – anchovies, pickled frog spawn, barbecued cockatrice skins and raw eggs. Madam Rosmerta absolutely hated 'special' orders and charged double extra for what Voldemort demanded.

Harry, Ginny, and Hermione on the other hand took advantage of the emptied Gryffindor common room to conduct studies of their own. Half-hour revising sessions were interrupted by an alarm clock so that Harry and the two others could also practice their snogging techniques. During the course of the afternoon the studying sessions grew shorter as the kissing breaks became longer and longer. The three broke off finally for a well needed cold shower for all the parties involved. Harry was invited upstairs but couldn't of course go up to the girl's dorms and showers because of the sliding stairs. Hermione in a rare display of bravery (or impetuousness) just cast a spell on her boyfriend and levitated him up. The 'cold' shower heated up quickly and all three agreed that it was most brilliant April Fool's Day that they ever had.

George and Fred received numerous thanks for their pranks but never could figure out how 50 galleons apiece ended up under their pillows that night.

Xxxxxxxxx

The first of June was the day that the Champions and the rest of the school found out what the Final Task was going to be. A full assembly of all three schools was joined by the Tournament Officials and some other representative members of the Ministry of Magic. Minister Fudge stayed long enough to pose for pictures and make some memorable quotes for the papers before he suddenly remembered some other 'urgent' business. He, his auror guards, and the trumpeters left the Great Hall to applause and cheers which the Minister mistakenly thought were praise. Harry, seeing Bagman and Percy Weasley left remaining up by Dumbledore, moved further away from the front of the room. He was suspicious that Barty Crouch wasn't present and was extra cautious. He didn't want to be anywhere near anyone from the Ministry as he didn't know who beside Barty was out to get him.

After the hubbub of the Minister leaving had settled down, Dumbledore rose to his feet. He pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and read it for the waiting students.

"Results of the League Matches held on Sunday, May 17th :

Glasgow 47, St. Andrews 8 : Fort Williams 22, Stornoway 33 : Ayr 55, Aberdeen Nil (forfeit due to illegally altered cabers): Dumfries 27.5, Kirk…"

A nudge from Hagrid almost sent the Headmaster flying but he gazed around the Great Hall and then muttered an apology. He searched various other pockets for a few frantic seconds and then gave up looking for the other speech he had prepared.

"The time has arrived to let the Champions and everyone else know what the Third Task is. It is a search for this: the ultimate prize." Dumbledore clapped his hands and there was a magical appearance. Unfortunately, it wasn't what Dumbledore hoped to show off. The Mug of Sparklers made another appearance and most students clapped their hands over their ears as the hauntingly grating song from a notorious purple dinosaur was heard again. Percy Weasley was the one to tackle the artifact and shut the noise off. He received a standing round of applause from the students who hadn't shut their eyes.

Harry could read lips very well after watching the Slytherin table and Professor Snape for four years. Dumbledore scratched his head and looked at his wand closely. Harry saw him mutter "I must have forgotten my vitamins again" before he brandished his wand again. The 13 Dwarves and one Hobbit on the Mug waved goodbye quickly to everyone and the Mug was replaced by a glittering crystal and gold flecked trophy.

"The Tri-Wizard Cup" Dumbledore exclaimed as the crowd of dignitaries, press, and students 'oohed' and 'ahhed' as its inherent preciousness and workmanship. Three of the four Champions restrained themselves from rushing to the ultimate prize; Lord Voldemort was currently sitting on a chair that Malfoy seemed to be carrying everywhere that the tiny Berserker was walking nowadays.

Dumbledore continued on. "As of this moment, the Quidditch pitch is out of bounds for anyone who is not a member of the staff of the three schools. A maze is being grown under the supervision of Professor Sprout and the Unspeakables from the Department of Mysteries. Photographs are strictly forbidden as are any unauthorized wanderings into the maze. The hazards and obstacles that the Champions have to overcome are being placed by Hagrid and Professor Moody starting next week. The Tri-Wizard Cup will be placed in the center of the maze for the Champions to retrieve. Since the complexity of this task is quite severe, capturing the cup is worth very many points. In essence, whoever retrieves the Cup will be crowned as Champion of the Tournament."

"So why did we have the first two tasks then?" Harry asked to nobody in particular.

The last sentence from Dumbledore brought a lot of mutterings and discussions to the three Champions and the students. With both Hagrid and 'Mad-Eye' providing the maze with creatures and who-knows-what-else, there was a real possibility that none of the three would make it to the center of the maze alive. Harry suspected that the fix was already in for Lord Voldeshorty but he had the most power and experience to actually get through the obstacles. Harry moaned quietly and hung his head in despair. Hermione and Ginny stayed after the hall emptied and comforted the wizard who felt doomed.

It was half an hour later that Harry looked up with a certain flair of determination in his eyes. He had to get the next part of their plan correct on the first pass if he had any chance of surviving.

Xxxxx xxxxx

Whatever and whoever had control over the tournament had decreed that the Third Task would start at dusk. Something that Hermione explained would add a little bit of intrigue and anticipation to the proceeding. Harry thought that it just simply made it more dangerous as some of the creatures (substitute monsters here at any point) were probably more active during the twilight and darkness than in the daytime.

There was a huge supper feast held on June 21st in honor of the Champions and their families. As a matter of course and because he had originally been selected as a Champion, Harry was invited to 'meet and greet' all the people that were important to the four Champions.

Cedric Diggory was the first to catch Harry's eye as he entered the reception room. He introduced Harry to his father Amos and his mother Marjorie. Cho was also present and when Cedric went to fetch her and his mother some refreshments, Cho stepped closer to Harry. She surprised him by giving him a brief hug and then a short kiss to his cheek. "That's for helping Cedric whenever you could through the first two tasks. You didn't have to but I wanted you to know how thankful we both are. If, no, when Cedric finishes the tournament we can formally invite you to our wedding. It may not be for a few years until after I graduate but we do plan on spending our lives together."

When Cedric returned Harry smiled and shook his hand and wished him good luck on the final task. In walking away from the Diggory's, Harry inadvertently bumped into another couple.

Victor Krum's parents looked almost as stiff and dour as the Bulgarian seeker. But after the introductions, Lucia and Badin warmed up a bit a Harry found them very personable and they insisted that the boy who was almost as famous in Romania as their son call them by their nicknames. Harry tried to explain to 'Luce' and 'Beda' that their names didn't work very well in English when introduced to others. Both laughed and haltingly explained that it was a matter of family historical names and that Viktor was actually their son's middle name. "He has never forgiven us for naming him after his grandfather – Fueloffs." Harry bit his lip and immediately left the pair to seek out Viktor. He was talking with the Delacours but Harry just wished the slightly older wizard good luck on the upcoming task. Viktor just nodded but was taken away by his girlfriend to talk to her parents.

That left Harry in the care of a very enthusiastic Gabrielle Delacour who dragged Harry by his hand over to meet her and Fleur's parents. Harry found it impossible to look into the faces of the French Minister of Magic, Simon Delacour or his wife Apolline. He was more than a little tongue-tied because he had no idea what they thought about him shagging their eldest daughter or allowing their other daughter to observe the three way semi-private coupling that he had thoroughly enjoyed.

Madame Delacour was a tall gorgeous blonde as he quickly found out. She bypassed the offered handshake and swept Harry up into a very intimate hug and open mouth kiss. Harry felt he turned the color of a well-cooked lobster when she placed him back down and shouted out something for everyone to hear. "Simon, this is Harry Potter, the wizard that so completely satisfied Fleur and her friend Zoe in bed for Gabrielle's observation exhibition. He must be a tremendous lover from all she has told me."

Harry tried to immediately retreat and slink away but a heavy hand on his shoulder stopped his retreat. Gabrielle had blocked his passage away so Harry had no choice but to turn and face Fleur's father, one of the most powerful wizards on the continent of Europe. Monsieur Delacour wasted no time in telling Harry what he exactly thought of him. "I am very honored and pleased to meet Lord Potter." Harry wondered if he was imagining it but his hand was being vigorously shaken and Simon Delacour was smiling at him. "The honor is mine Minister. And I am just Harry, not a lord."

Fleur's father shook his head. "Then you must just address me as simply Simon. We shall not stand on formality as you are just about a member of the family already. Because what you have done to Gabrielle and Fleur we expect you to be a frequent visitor to our house. I'm sure there will be someone there to share a bed with you."

Harry immediately overcame the urge to run and just protested. "I…. I… did nothing to Gabrielle. Honest!"

Apolline threw an arm around Harry's shoulders and brought him closer to her side. "Did not Headmaster Dumbledore tell us that he is also modest to a fault? Surely you cannot think it was such a small thing to rescue my daughter from under the big lake outside?"

"Oh, no. I am very glad that I could bring Gabrielle back to the surface and her schoolmates after the unfortunate accident that Fleur had."

"You are such a brave and marvelous wizard. I must reward you again." Apolline leaned over and gave Harry another very lingering kiss full on the mouth. Harry got a little dizzy but Gabrielle made sure that she was propping him up by sticking her hands in his front pockets. Harry's mouth fell open and he wondered if he should try the impossible and apparate out of the room.

Simon Delacour leaned down and just lowered his voice a little as he spoke to Harry. "They are an enthusiastic bunch – my wife and daughters. I will apologize if they seem a little forward but it is their way. Frankly, Gabrielle has already stated that she would prefer that you be her first when it comes about time for that. There will be a formal invitation of course."

Harry's look made all three Delacours chuckle and Harry struggled to get a coherent sentence together as his mind had been totally turned to porridge. "I have been… rewarded enough already… I would not like to …impose any further on your…. hospitality."

"Oh, think nothing of it. We like to spoil our daughters and she has made her feelings known."

Gabrielle agreed readily with that and helped herself to some more feelings in Harry's pockets. Harry finally nervously excused himself as he stated he needed to go find his girlfriend so that they could get good seats for watching the task. Both Gabrielle and her mother enthusiastically kissed Harry good bye and the Minister of Magic for France hoped that Harry would be writing them soon. Harry waved weakly and headed for the door.

And promptly passed the last Champion. Lord Voldemort. He was with Bellatrix Lestrange and Draco Malfoy. The senior Malfoy hadn't been seen all day and Harry hoped he wouldn't be seeing him somehow later in the evening. Draco, having heard the conversations with the Delacours, glared openly at Harry but Voldemort and Bellatrix smiled knowingly and raised their wine glasses in a salute to him. Harry suddenly felt very uneasy.

Hermione and Ginny were waiting out in the main hallway for him. "How was the reception Harry?"

Harry shook his head ruefully. "I don't think I have an adequate command of the English language to describe what just happened in there. Let's get down to the viewing stands. I want to make sure that everyone enters the maze."

Xxxx xxxx

Fifteen minutes later, Harry was seriously wondering why they had come. He, Hermione and Ginny were staring at the starting point and looking at the twenty-five foot tall hedges that made up the walls of the maze. They could only see about a few feet into the first corridor and it seemed very ominous.

Before he could tell the girls what he was thinking, Dumbledore came down the path from the school leading the four Champions. They were followed by their families and then the Ministry officials. There still was no sign of Barty Crouch and Harry's heartbeat began to race just a little bit. He remembered the conversation between Crouch and Voldemort and wondered when the attack on him would be coming. He suddenly realized that he had placed both the girls in danger. They might get hurt if there was an exchange of spells. Before Harry could start to think of an excuse to distance himself from them, Dumbledore applied a _Sonorous_ charm to his throat and started the announcements.

"Ladies and gentlemen, witches and wizards, boys and girls, friends and foes, Mork and Mindy, Batman and Robin, Kermit and Miss Piggy, Ben and Jerry, Jeeves and Wooster, (here Dumbledore paused for a breathe and wondered who the Minister of Magic _hadn't_ invited.) Sonny and Cher, Gilbert and Sullivan, shave and a haircut, members of the press, students and Honored members of the Ministry of Magic – Welcome! Tonight we have a rare and significant event to witness – the third Task of the Tri-Wizard tournament and the awarding of the Tri-wizard Cup."

"In a few minutes our four competitors will start the race to the center of the maze. The Champions will start at various times depending on their scores from the other two tasks. In first place from Hogwarts School- Cedric Diggory with 84 points." Cheers from the stands rose and echoed back across Black Lake. "Tied for second place from Beauxbatons Academy is Fleur Delacour and from the Durmstrang Institute is Viktor Krum – both with 66 points." Even the Hogwarts students joined in the applause for the two foreign Champions. For different reasons of course; Viktor had taken off his shirts and was bare to the waist. Fleur, for the sake of speed (Harry hoped), was currently wearing a bright pink pair of very tight and thin short-shorts. Harry looked over and saw that both Gabrielle and Apolline were wearing the same thing in a show of support for their daughter. Hermione and Ginny saw where Harry's gaze was and roughly turned his head, cracking four vertebrae in the process.

"The last and final competitor to start tonight is… Lord Voldemort with a score of -8." Harry had never heard the frogs and crickets so clearly as in the silence after the last announcement. Voldemort looked around and then cackled evilly. It didn't help anyone feel a little more secure and Harry saw that the other three Champions had taken a step closer to the entrance to the maze.

"If any of the Champions get into difficulty and wish to withdraw from this event, they merely have to shoot red sparks into the air. There will be four Hogwarts professors patrolling the outside of the maze to come rescue you." At that point Dumbledore cancelled the Sonorous charm and went and shook hands with the Champions. Well, he shook hands with three of them; Voldemort just smiled up at the Hogwarts headmaster and then turned his back. Dumbledore shrugged and turned back to go to the judges stand.

Harry saw that three of the professors – Hagrid, Flitwick and McGonagall – all started walking away to assume their posts along the perimeter. The last, Professor Alistor 'Mad-eye' Moody limped over the section of stands that Harry was sitting in. The weird rotating eye scanned the students until Moody found who he was looking for.

"Mr. Potter!"

"Yes Professor?"

"You're with me until the end of the task. Dumbledore's orders."

Harry nodded and Hermione impulsively leaned up to give him a brief kiss on the cheek. "This is perfect Harry. An ex-auror should help protect you from Crouch or whoever else is after you. Once somebody gets the Cup, you can get under your invisibility cloak and get back inside the school where it's a lot safer."

Ginny also gave him a small hug before Harry left the stands to walk beside the DADA professor. Harry watched the Professor take a small nip from the flask he had been carrying all year. Everyone who had asked about the flask had been told that it contained some 'medicine' to help the Professor handle the pain from his injuries. Harry and many others had suspected that the medicine was at least 80 proof although Moody had never been seen to get drunk or have a hangover. Of course with his abrasive personality, it might be hard to tell the difference.

The two slowly walked for another ten minutes until they lost sight of the stands and the entryway. Professor Moody stopped and leaned back against a tree. A large shot echoed across the maze and Harry jumped in surprise. "That would be Mr. Diggory heading out first. He should do well tonight."

"He's a good wizard. I hope he finds the Tri-Wizard cup first" Harry said.

"Something against the other Champions Mr. Potter?"

"No, I'm sure that Viktor and Fleur are brilliant spell casters in their own right. I'm sure they might have done better if they hadn't been distracted by being in lust with each other this whole time."

"And what about He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named? What's your opinion about Our Lord?"

"He's.. huh, our Lord? He's not anybody's Lord except those weak-minded and bigoted prigs that believe all that swallow about pure-blooded supremacy. He's not even a pure blood himself; his real name is Tom Marvolo Riddle."

Moody did one of his famous growls and Harry saw the rotating eye focused on him. "And that's the last of those vile lies you shall ever utter Harry Potter. _Petrificus Totalis_!"

Harry hadn't a chance to even begin reaching for his wand before he was frozen solid. He fell over backward with a push from Moody. He didn't even have a chance to curse about the predicament he was in.

A high giggling laugh came from Moody's mouth and Harry thought that his skin might be crawling if it wasn't totally frozen in place. "So much for the Boy-Who-Lived. I'd kill you myself but my Master has reserved that for himself. Don't worry Potter; it will probably take a horribly long time for your point of view."

Harry saw something slapped on his chest. "That is a portkey that will take you far away from here. And by the way, that French slag and Krum didn't naturally fall into each other. They were fed Amortentia to keep them from competing at their full potential. Brilliant accomplishment by Snape don't you think. Oh, that's right – you don't think. Bye Potter, I'll be along in a bit. Stupefy!"

Harry barely had time to register the portkey activating before everything went dark.

Xxxx xxxx

Harry was having the nicest dream. And he knew it was it was a dream because nothing so amazing had yet happened in his young and eventful life. (Well, just the once anyway.) He was back in the giant Beauxbatons coach and in the super plus-sized bed but this time instead of Fleur and Zoe he was receiving the attentions of Hermione and Ginny. They had tied him spread-eagled to the four poster bed frame and were having a wonderful time licking off various things that they found to pour on him. The current concoction was strawberry jam and they had poured it atop his forehead to drip over his face and cheeks. Part of the jam was on his lips and they were both happy to kiss him and retrieve the tasty snack from his mouth.

Harry drew in a deep breath and realized that the jam had suddenly soured or turned otherwise horrible. It didn't even taste close to jam anymore; it tasted more like - blood!

Shaking his head, Harry realized his body ached horribly like he had experienced a really bad magical transit. As consciousness fully returned, the events began to reassemble themselves in his head and he groaned to himself. It hadn't been Barty Crouch that had kidnapped him for Voldemort; it was Dumbledore's friend and ex-Auror Professor Alistor Moody! Harry was going to have a serious word or two with the headmaster if he returned to Hogwarts.

"You can quit playing possum Potter anytime. The stunner should have worn off a long time ago." Harry knew that voice; he wished he didn't but he did. Mr. Lucius Malfoy.

Harry cracked his eyes opened and suddenly wished he hadn't. There were headstones and monuments all around him. He was in a cemetery; one that Voldemort and Crouch had talked about killing him in. Harry hoped Hermione's reasoning and plan worked, otherwise there would be some very unhappy witches back at Hogwarts waiting on him for a very long time.

Finding he couldn't move much except his head and his hands, Harry found himself securely bound to a tall thin monument with the word Riddle carved across the base. It was rather surprising; from what he knew of Tom Riddle, he was an orphan and the family was not rich enough to afford and elaborate plot like this.

"If you're wondering, Harry Potter, this is a long held family plot and the Riddle's weren't always poor."

Harry bit back a gasp of helplessness. "Or is it more likely that when you first rose to power and money that you conscripted some of your minions to redo the workings in the cemetery to put things in their 'proper' place. Did you even tell anyone that your father was a common Muggle, Tom, or did they think you were doing this out of the goodness of your heart?"

A feminine voice cackling finally aroused enough curiosity in Harry for him to turn his head and look at who he being held by. There was Malfoy, of course, and Bellatrix Lestrange who had really objected to the lack of respect Harry had for the last person standing front of him. Lord Short and Plumpamort himself, Tom Riddle.

"The time has come to pay you back for all the trouble you've caused me Harry Potter. I will soon make up for all the years I was a shade and this horrible appearance I am currently in."

"Let me guess; elevator shoes and a complete make-over at the Diagon Alley Beauty School and Lumber Yard. You have heard their new slogan: 'We can fix what you lack; all it takes is a two by four or a perm."

Bellatrix raised her wand to begin a _Crucio _curse at Harry but Voldemort knocked her arm aside. "Not yet dear one. There is a proper order of things and we haven't received word about the Tournament yet. You've done enough already by kicking him in the head when he arrived"

Harry noticed in passing that Bellatrix had traded in her stilettos for combat boots with cleats. (Talk about a fashion faux pas; everyone knew boots with cleats were definitely a fad that was in and out about twelve years ago. Evidentially, Bellatrix didn't keep up with Teen Witches Weekly annual fashion issue.)

"Speaking of the Tournament, aren't you going to get in horrible trouble for skiving out on the Third Task? No prize for you today."

"I've been waiting for this day since you named me Champion on Halloween. I can finally get back at you and everyone else that has not paid me the proper respect over the years."

"I hate to mention this Tom but your record hasn't exactly been the best at getting me. You've failed a few times already - starting when I was a mere baby. You ever figure out what happened that Halloween all those years ago?

"Master, he is delaying the inevitable. Should I just place a silencing charm on him until the award ceremony is ready?"

"No, Bellatrix. He is entitled to some answers as he won't be around much longer to ask them. The reason you survived the Killing Curse all those years ago was that your mother was a sloppy housekeeper."

"What?"

"Yes. After Pettigrew revealed the location of your parent's location at Godric's Hollow, I blasted down the front door trying to catch everyone inside by surprise. Your father, a very respected Auror for the time, fought to defend his wife and child. He was pretty good but no match for the greatest sorcerer in the world. He tripped over some toys that had never been picked up and left himself wide open for an Avada Kervada. Your mother rushed down the stairs, pleading for your life, and throwing a remarkable number of curses at me. I blocked them all and killed her when she turned her head when you cried from your cradle. So much for a mother's love."

"You lie. That still doesn't explain how you missed a defenseless baby that probably didn't know one end of a wand from the other."

"Harry Potter, you have great reflexes. You were born with them. Just as I cast the killing curse at you, you rolled over. I don't how it got there but there was a hand mirror directly under you. It reflected the spell right back at me and you only a tiny part of the spell along with a shard of a mirror that gave you that famous scar."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you can say after receiving that vile 'Boy-Who-Lived' nickname and all the credit for banishing me? OH? I commit magical Hari-kari, and you receive the credit and the glory for a dozen years. Is it any wonder I hate the very sound of your name Potter? But all that shall end tonight."

"I was kind of wondering why you hadn't got rid of me already. Not that I'm complaining, mind you."

Voldemort grinned evilly. "As remote as a possibility as it is that the Tournament could affect me, I am waiting until it's officially over before I start using my magic on you."

"So how long have you been here? I thought the others had a huge time advantage on you before you even started."

"I had to wait almost an hour before it was my turn. Those fools. I walked into the maze, turned the first corner and used a portkey to travel here. After I finish my time with you, I shall go back and deal with those other Champions and Hogwarts. There will only be one house left in Hogwarts - the glorious followers of Salazar Slytherin. Lucius, the time must be getting close. Start preparing the cauldron."

Malfoy Sr. muttered something low and quiet but it didn't matter as Riddle heard him. "What do you mean; you don't have your wand? Crucio! Haven't I told you again and again that there are some things you absolutely cannot misplace if you plan to be creating havoc and disaster?"

After he quit writhing in pain, Malfoy crawled back to kiss the hem of the robe that Voldemort was wearing. "I'm very sorry my Lord but I… I gave my wand to my son Draco. He had his snapped again and both Ollivanders and Pudgeworth's Illegal Wand Shop won't let me buy any more from them."

"You incompetent fool. Crucio, Crucio, Crucio!"

While Voldemort waited for Lucius Malfoy to regain consciousness (and the control of his bladder) Harry ventured a statement. "I think I know why Mr. Malfoy couldn't buy any more wands, if you are interested?"

Voldemort looked at his wristwatch and held it up to his little ear so he could make sure it was still ticking. "I guess we have time. What's the problem?"

"Well, I'm very sorry for that happened and that you were a lousy shot. Can we just shake hands and forgive each other? I promise not to bother you anymore."

Voldemort shook his head. "I'm afraid it just doesn't work like that. Now, what lies did you want to spread about my most loyal followers?"

"Did you know that Mr. Malfoy had been collecting all your souvenirs and bric-a-brac over the last years?"

"I'm sure he has been saving them up for my triumphal return."

"Then why has there been a standing advertisement for Dark Lord artifacts for sale with his name and floo coordinates on it? Also he literally gave away your diary at one point just to discredit a friend of mine. That you won't be getting back by the way."

Lord Voldemort lost his temper and turned on Lucius Malfoy. "You've been selling my prized possessions for money? My collection of Dark Arts Spell Books? My portable potions lab with all the rare and valuable components? My collection of Slim Whitman records and 8-tracks? Why? Crucio!"

Lucius Malfoy writhed on the ground for a couple of minutes until Voldemort released the spell. He got shakingly to his feet and bowed down to the Dark Lord.

"I'm still waiting for the explanation."

"My Lord, the bottom fell out of the muggle stock market a few years ago and I've had unexpected expenses. There's certain hair products, silk robes and you would not believe how much wands cost these days. I'll admit Draco's has more than his share of his wands snapped and then Fudge adjusted his bribe scale a couple of times unexpectedly. I didn't actually sell anything; I have the pawn tickets in my pocket as proof…."

"Excuses, excuses. Crucio! I believe there is a special cell in your dungeons that you will be visiting for a while after we're done here today."

"No! NO! Not that. Anything but that!"

"You have displeased me a great deal Lucius with the loss of that diary. You are going to go…"

Malfoy started weeping and pleading but it was to no avail.

"… to the joint Pilates and Gong Show room!"

Malfoy started wailing again but Harry thought it was a fitting punishment for the jerk. Having to spend hours chained up watching the worst television show ever and then doing endless hours with dancing exercises (in leotards) was very cruel. But Harry smiled anyway; if there was only some way to get Draco punished like that his life might be good. For the time he had left.

Bellatrix was openly laughing at her companion but Lord Voldemort turned on her with another punishing curse. "And what do you know of my dear Bellatrix Potter?"

Harry lowered his head for just a second or two to try loosening the ropes again. No luck. "You know she got married after you disappeared right? Well, since her husband and his brother are as broke as church mice, Bellatrix has been designing clothing and hair styles for … Muggles."

Bellatrix screamed and rushed at Harry. She only got within five feet before she was blasted away. Voldemort just shook his head. "Consorting with mudbloods? Eccch! She just never could keep two knuts in her pocket."

"Anything you'd care to share while we're talking? After all, we are the only ones left conscious here."

"Dream on. Your time is limited."

As if waiting for that exact prompt, there came two distinct pops of people apparating in. Harry looked around and swallowed hard. This was getting dicey.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – The Task to End it All, part 2

From Chapter 5:

"_Anything you'd care to share while we're talking? After all, we are the only ones left conscious here."_

"_Dream on. Your time is limited."_

_As if waiting for that exact prompt, there came two distinct pops of people apparating in. Harry looked around and swallowed hard. This was getting dicey._

And then:

The first and loudest of the people appearing was Draco Malfoy. He arrived on the arm of Professor Moody. The professor came up to Lord Voldemort and bowed. "It is over, My Lord. Cedric Diggory just reemerged from the maze holding the Tri-Wizard Cup. He was declared the winner and the partying has begun all through the halls of Hogwarts."

"That is excellent news Barty."

"Barty? No - his name is Alistor Moody. He was an auror." Harry was screaming out the facts as he knew them to the trio. Bellatrix and Lucius Malfoy were slowly coming around after the latest round of being punished by the Dork Wizard but he paid them no heed. Voldemort waddled over to look up at where Harry was bound. "No, almost everything you think you know is wrong. You have no idea of the genius you have been against all along. 'Professor'?"

Limping over to stand beside Voldieshorts, Professor Moody reached up and plucked his magical eye off his face and threw it down on the ground. His face began to shift and Moody's whole body straightened and jerked and flowed into someone totally different. Someone Harry had never seen before. The young man was lean, had freckles over a pale complexion and light yellow short-cut hair. Harry shook his head not understanding any of this.

"I'll do the proper introductions since you two have never really met. Harry Potter this is Barty Crouch, junior."

"Junior?" Harry asked very nervously.

"Brilliant plan. Slip some sleeping powder into the real Professor Moody's flask and voila. We put a loyal member of my Death Eaters right into Hogwarts with a little bit of Polyjuice Potion. Nobody suspected a thing."

"You're really dumb Potter. Even for a half-blood." Draco Malfoy couldn't keep himself out of the conversation and insulting the wizard he hated any longer. He strutted up to the base of the monument Harry was tied to and smirked. "I've been waiting for this all year. You will finally be killed and I get to watch it. The most powerful wizard in all of magical England will soon assume the place he has always meant to be. Ruler! I will take great delight in personally taking that mudblood Granger for myself and hearing her and that blood traitor Weasley cry for mercy and beg for me to end their suffering."

Draco walked closer and then punched Harry hard in the stomach. When Harry cried out, the blond wizard turned back to Lord Voldemort and bowed. "Might I have one more, your Highness?"

Flattered at the term of address, Voldemort nodded. Draco took another step closer and jumped up and punched Harry in the face. Harry's head jerked back and hit the concrete hard. Everyone heard a crack and Draco laughed. His laughing stop when there came another crack and then another and then a series of cracks. Harry was barely holding onto consciousness but felt everything shift around him. Suddenly the column he was tied to disintegrated and Harry fell.

Evidently, the stone mason that had prepared the marker for Riddle senior had pocketed most of the money for himself and left a thin shell just for appearances sake. Throwing another hissy fit, Voldemort threw a round of Crucio curses at everyone, including Harry, before aiming a "Reparo" at the monument. When Harry found he could think coherently he found himself tied up again.

"It is time Potter. Soon I will have my revenge." The half-pint villain turned his back on Harry and walked away with Crouch to inspect the cauldron. Draco finally regained his feet and came back to gloat at Harry's position. Harry tested his bonds and found one that had slipped.

"Hey Draco."

"What? Thought of some futile last words that they can carve on your marker?"

"No, it's about Hermione and Ginny. If I tell you something important, could you make sure that they don't suffer too much?"

"You're in no position to barter."

"Then you don't want to know where I keep my vault key?"

"Vault key?" Harry could see Malfoy Jr. practically drool at the thought of the amount of galleons that Harry might have in his vault. After a couple of seconds of thought, Draco nodded.

"Okay, come closer. You don't want your father or Crouch or HIM to overhear this do you?"

Draco moved closer so that Potter could tell him privately.

"This is important. I need your promise Draco."

"I promise, I promise. They will not suffer at my hands."

Harry leaned down a little and Draco leaned closer. "I need to tell you… I need to tell you…"

"What? What?" Draco finally said leaning even closer.

"That my leg is free!" As he said that Harry lashed out and caught the slim blond with his boot right on Draco's right eye. Draco flew backward, already unconscious before he hit the ground. Harry struggled as best he could to free some of the other ropes before a "Petrificus Totalis' came from the side and caught him again.

Harry had heard two pops of apparition but had forgotten about the second as Crouch, Draco and Voldemort had gloated at him. He soon discovered who had frozen him as the person came rushing to attend the fallen boy.

"Draco, poofiekins! What has that mean boy done to you?" Everyone turned to see Narcissa Malfoy running with her skirts gathered up to reach her son.

"Narcissa? What are you doing here?" Lucius was totally surprised at the sudden appearance of his wife. She wasn't answering him as she had pulled the unconscious boy up and applied an 'Enervate' spell to him. Harry couldn't move his face muscles to smile but was happy to see that Draco's eye was already swollen shut and turning into a nice rainbow of colors.

Harry was suddenly glad he wasn't the center of attention right then because Mrs. Malfoy focused her ire right at her husband. "How dare you bring my son to where he could be hurt? I want some answers and I want them now! Lucius?"

"Narcissa, I can explain. Lord Voldemort thought that it might be satisfying for Draco to see what fate has led Harry Potter to."

"And you thought it was okay to let my poofiekins get close to that dangerous boy? What end of your body were you thinking with?"

"Mummy, don't blame dad; I talked Barty into bringing me along." Draco was playing the sympathy card as best he could by sobbing, rocking, and holding his injured eye.

"Mrs. Malfoy…" Voldemort began in order to try to play peacemaker. It was a mistake.

"You. My husband's intermittent boss. Mr. Mort. I realize that this is a just a business venture for you but do you have liability insurance?"

"Liability insurance?"

"Yes, something to pay for the medical expenses for my precious son here. You do have the on-the-job injury forms don't you for my husband to fill out? You'd better have or our barrister will be suing you for every sickle you have!"

Voldemort was shocked. That someone would talk to him like this was unbelievable. That he had forgotten to renew his Dark Lord's minion insurance over the New Year was unforgivable. If Wormtail had been here, Voldemort would have tortured him for forgetting to fill out the paperwork for him. But he simply retreated a step and gestured for his chief henchman to do something about this situation.

The petrifying spell was wearing off and Harry started working on loosening the ropes again. It made little difference but he continued to flex and move as the drama unfolded in front of him.

Malfoy Sr. stepped up to the kneeling woman and placed what he thought was a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Now honey, let's not get too carried away her. Why don't you take Draco to St. Mungo's to have him checked…"

Narcissa lurched to her feet with fire in her eyes. "Honey nothing! How dare you try to distract me from what I am upset about. That's it! I've had enough. Mr. Nimrod Lucius Malfoy…"

A shocked silence exploded across the cemetery at that one name.

'Nimrod? Malfoy's first name is Nimrod' Harry thought. And had to immediately bite his lip to keep from laughing.

"Nimrod?" asked Voldemort. "Really? Really? Nimrod?"

"Nimrod. That's rich." Barty Crouch Jr. fell to laughing and had to lean on another headstone to hold him up from collapsing.

Nimrod Malfoy looked totally mortified that a deep embarrassing secret had so blatantly been disclosed. His eyes however soon frosted over with anger and he made to step up to his wife. He was interrupted.

"Oh, Nimmy, Nimmy boy. I'm so sorry that that horrid witch had to be so mean to you." Bellatrix Lestrange rushed the tall wizard and fell sobbing into his arms. Even Harry couldn't quite believe this surprise. Bellatrix and Malfoy- ewww! Nimmy? (Double ewww and a firm yuck on top of that!)

Somebody grabbed Bellatrix's shoulder and spun her away from "Nimmy boy'. Bellatrix Lestrange was slapped with a forehand and a backhand by Narcissa Malfoy. "You slut! I should have known. You've always had a thing for my boyfriends Trixie."

"Well if you hadn't always been a cold fish in bed Cissie, they wouldn't have gone looking for anyone who could really appreciate them."

Lord Voldemort had backed away from the confrontation so that he was close enough to talk to Harry again. He whispered up without turning his head from the pair. "Kind of hard to believe they are sisters, isn't it?"

"Yes. You want to do this another day?"

Voldemort chuckled and turned. "No, sorry. But this has been a bit of extra entertainment I hadn't counted on."

During the conversation between Harry and Voldemort, the sisters had escalated their insults and had resorted to coming to blows. They were currently tumbling together on the ground and destroying the carefully laid out arrangement of the big cauldron and the fire pit it was over. The cauldron tipped over, dousing both ladies (?) and causing Draco to let go a wolf-whistle at his Aunt Bella because her top had turned totally transparent.

Nimrod hit Draco on the back of his head and told him to help separate the sisters. Draco pulled his mother off his aunt by an ankle and the elder Malfoy grabbed Bellatrix around the waist and pulled her upright.

Bellatrix surprisingly giggled. "That was fun." She looked over at Narcissa and stuck out her tongue. "You lose again. The fight.." Bella grabbed Nimmy's hand and put it over her left breast. "…and the man."

Narcissa struggled to straighten out her clothes and then grabbed her son. "That is no man. He's been shooting blanks for as long as I've known him. Draco is NOT the product of that man's considerably undersized loins."

Draco was flummoxed beyond belief. "He isn't my father? But I thought…"

Narcissa hugged her son. "I love you immensely dear poofiekins but have you looked into a mirror lately? That white hair, that pale, pasty complexion? You've never suspected at all?"

"What? Who is my real daddy?" Draco looked almost ready to cry and not because his eye was almost the size of the fake eye Crouch used to impersonate Professor Moody.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it Draco; we're going to St. Mungo's and then home so we can talk about this some more." Narcissa covered Draco's ears and then her voice turned icy cold. "I'll be filing for a divorce now. I certainly have grounds. Don't worry; you won't have to pay child support. There will be little money left for you to do that anyway. Oh, by the way, Draco's real father is…Nearly Headless Nick!"

"The Gryffindor house ghost?" Nimrod Malfoy literally reeled where he stood in disbelief.

"The head above his shoulders may be nearly gone but the one under his belt buckle is still quite attached and very functional! Bye Nimmy!" With that last comment Narcissa, not to be a Malfoy much longer, apparated away with her son.

Lord Voldemort couldn't decide whether to laugh or punish everyone for what just happened. He compromised by kicking the kneeling man as he walked back toward the place the cauldron was being set up again. "Get up Nimrod – we still have evil deeds to do."

Xxxx xxxx

It took another twenty minutes to set the cauldron upright, fill it up with water and to light a fire underneath it. Harry wondered if Hermione or Ginny had been searching for him or the fake Professor Moody. If nobody could tell Dumbledore or McGonagall that he was really missing then there was no way anybody would come to look for him. He hoped Hermione had been able to tell someone that they were going to hold a ritual in a cemetery and that his blood was needed for whatever Voldemort wanted to do.

The cauldron finally warmed up enough for Moldieshorts sensitive skin and he took off his clothes before Barty Crouch lifted him in. Harry was especially glad that he didn't get to see what a short, red, plump Dark Lord looked like totally nude. He guessed Bellatrix didn't find it too appealing. Harry saw her run over to the nearest bunch of bushes and throw up behind them. She came back chewing on a piece of gum and avoiding looking at the person in the cauldron.

Malfoy and Crouch began adding ingredients to the cauldron that they had stored in their robe pockets or near the cauldron. The mixture was gross to the smell but Voldemort seemed to relish it very much. He was handed a spoon at one point and brought up some his lips to taste. Harry himself began to gag at that point. But the short, red and powerful Lord called for some more boomslang skin and paprika.

Then the creepy part of the night started. Harry thought it must have been near midnight which meant he had been gone for over three hours already. It wasn't a good sign.

They Death Eaters changed into their evilest looking robes and briefly did a round of the peppermint twist while Voldemort judged who was the best dancer. Bellatrix won - probably because she displayed the least hairy legs. Barty Crouch came back to stand before Harry and pointed his wand at the ground. There was a deep groan and what appeared to be a femur rose slowly from the ground and the body that was buried at Harry's feet. Crouch grabbed the bone carefully and walked back to the slowly bubbling cauldron with it.

Crouch lowered the bone almost reverently into the cauldron. The hair on the back of Harry's head started prickling. Barty Crouch Jr. raised his voice in a chant:

"_Bone of the father, unwillingly given, you will renew your son!"_

Bellatrix stepped up to the side of the cauldron next. She raised her head to kiss Malfoy on the lips. "We will have our just reward soon lover. Our Master will raise us up above all others."

Thinking she was still a bit over dramatic, Harry saw her bring a large cleaver out of her skirt pocket and look at it a bit strangely. She rested her hand on the rim of the cauldron and then brought the cleaver down – severing two fingers. She wrapped up her hand to slow the bleeding but continued on with the ceremony. Her chanting was a tad off-key Harry though:

"_Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will renew your master!" _

Then the faces of the three Death Eaters turned in Harry's direction and he hoped it was time for Headmaster Dumbledore to make one of his grand entrances. Time ticked away and Harry let out a little sigh of disappointment. That seemed to settle the matter for Mr. Nimrod Lucius Malfoy and he took the cleaver from Bellatrix and walked, no stalked, up to Harry's position.

"Still feeling cocky up there Potter?"

"Not so much anymore. But I just didn't have a wife and somebody else's son just disappear out of my life. As bad as things are apparently going for me, I have one consolation."

"And what is that feeble thing you cling to, you half-blood troublemaker?"

"Even though I will die, you will carry one with your usual swagger and luck. As someone famous said once "_It must really suck to be you!"_

The blond wizard raised the cleaver and threw it at Harry. Harry somehow swerved and the sharp object passed by his head. 'And a lousy aim on top of everything else' Harry thought. 'Maybe Hagrid can give Malfoy a good squeeze and pop that pimple that's passing for his head."

Malfoy pulled another long sharp knife from his belt but Bellatrix and Barty yelled for him not to kill the boy. Malfoy snarled. "The ritual calls for your blood. I'm not killing you as you deserve because my Master wants to do that deed himself. I will watch and laugh as you plead for mercy Potter."

"You sure you really want to do this Mr. Nimrod? Very well. That's good, only some blood. I was hoping it wasn't something important like the scar in my forehead. I'd miss that. Not. So go ahead and take the little bit of blood you need. You're welcome to it….. I don't suppose you actually have those insurance forms on you? Too bad. Let's get on with it then; let's not delay the inevitable any longer."

Malfoy yanked Harry's arm down and carved a quick figure into his forearm. He let the blood drip down onto the blade of the knife and walked back to the cauldron. He turned the knife and let the blood drip down into the cauldron.

"_Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe." _

Nothing happened for a few seconds and Harry hoped that the ritual had been botched somehow. Alas ('I really have to quit thinking of that word' Harry said to himself) the concoction in the cauldron began bubbling crazily and a weird purple light burst out of it. There seemed to be a clock ticking and its steady beat made everyone look around to see if they could figure out where it was coming from. With a final loud 'dong' the ticking stopped and a figure popped up from the steaming mist of the cauldron.

Voldemort regained his balance quickly and stepped over the rim of the cauldron as Barty, Bellatrix and (let's say it together) Nimrod bowed before him.

Voldemort had not gotten any smarted in his transformation/rebirth. He overestimated the length of his new legs and pinched his bits on the rim. He fell over in agony and his three stooges rushed quickly over to help him up. Barty Crouch junior offered to rub the sore spots but he was quickly decked by a backhand and sprawled across the ground. Malfoy held up a robe and Voldemort (no longer short, no longer pudgy) shrugged himself into it.

"I need a mirror quickly" the reborn leader said to the three.

"Mi'lord, wouldn't it be just simpler to take care of Potter and then head for Malfoy Manor?" Lestrange said.

"Trixie, I need to see my face. Now!"

Bellatrix began dumping out the many pockets in her skirt in order to find the mirror that her Master demanded. Harry's curiosity rose as the pile at her feet began to grow. Six knives, a garrote, two Cave Bear stuffed toys, a cat of nine tails, a tub of margarine, a possum calendar, a slipper made from sandpaper, four cawing birds, three dead hens, two burgled gloves and a cartridge left over on a gunbelt all came out of Bellatrix's pockets before she finally discovered a hand mirror. She handed it over to Voldemort, bowed and scurried to go hide behind Malfoy.

Harry hadn't seen Tom Riddle's new face was yet and he wondered what could possibly be so horrible to make the Dark Lord scream so loudly. Then the head turned to look at him. "Potter – you misbegotten son of a mudblood! This must be your fault!"

Swirling his robes in a manner remindingly similar to Professor Snape, Voldemort walked carefully through the debris of the cemetery to come up to the monument where Harry was still bound. "You did this to me."

"Me? In case you've forgotten, you've had me strung up over here for the duration. I've just been enjoying the sights and it's more likely your 'loyal' followers botched up the ritual."

Voldemort screamed and turned away, yelling for someone to cut Harry down and to give him back his wand. Harry could see why the man might possibly be upset. He was… he looked…and sounded… exactly like… Groucho Marx! Hardly a look to inspire fear and blind loyalty or being taking seriously, Groucho (excuse me Voldemort) stalked over to the nearest cleared pathway to await his opponent. Barty Crouch cut Harry down by slicing through all the ropes with one big swing of his arm. Harry fell and tumbled to the ground as he had lost the feeling in his arms. Bellatrix and Malfoy were laughing as they hauled him upright. "You are so dead this time Harry Potter!"

"We will have a proper duel now Harry. The 'Boy-Who-Lived' will die NOW! Assume the position boy."

Harry was just about to the place on the graveled roadway about twenty yards away from Voldemarx when he was shoved ahead and sprawled on the ground. Harry fell and lost hold of his wand. The four villains laughed and pointed at the young wizard. Harry felt like he had enough. He straightened up and brushed off his trousers. As he searched around for his wand, Harry turned his back to Grouchomort.

The four were still laughing when Harry dropped his trousers and mooned the lot of them. Malfoy growled, Bellatrix whistled in appreciation of the size of Harry's 'wand and stones' and Voldemort almost dropped his own wand in shock.

"You will pay for that insult!"

Harry had picked up his wand and held it over his head for a minute attempting to get the feeling fully restored to his fingers. He whispered a few words quietly and then shouted across the space between him and Voldemort. "Would you like that in cash or do you take Traveler's Checques?"

"Brave words for someone about to die. You know how to duel don't you? First we bow and then _engarde_."

Harry made the appropriate motions but couldn't resist throwing one more barb at the person who had killed his parents. "You realize of course that the Cemetery Preservation Committee is going to find you heavily for this?"

"Bah. We'll be long gone before anyone shows up."

"I'm not so sure of that. We've made a lot of noise for the middle of the night what with Nimrod's wife and your caterwauling. Is that police sirens I hear?"

Everybody paused and looked toward the nearest village. Harry thought 'What dolts" and cast his first spell. _"Expelliarmus!"_

The wands of Bellatrix Lestrange, Nimrod Malfoy, Barty Crouch (Jr.) and Tom Marvolo Riddle went sailing through the air to land in Harry's outstretched hands.

Bellatrix screeched first. "That wasn't kosher Potter. Give them back!"

Harry chuckled. "Sorry, I've never signed the Hero Fair Practices Act. So sue me; or my estate if you can talk the goblins into believing that you have a legitimate complaint."

Harry put one of the summoned wands in his back pocket and looked at the very mad group. "Tell you what – I will give them back." At the astonished looks of the Death Eaters, Harry calmly snapped three wands and threw the parts down the pathway. "Here you go – some assembly required. Do you happen to have any Spell-o-tape or bubble gum on you? No? Pity. So how many wands is that Mr. Malfoy?"

"Potter!"

"Oh very well. I just wanted this to be a fair fight after all. Groucho, ooops sorry, Tom. Here's your wand." Harry threw the wand toward Voldemort but just before the man touched it Voldemort heard another spell cast. _"Wingardium Leviosa!"_

The wand floated off the road and Voldemort and his three followers made futile leaps to catch it as Harry moved it hither and yon around the area around the graveyard. Harry laughed as he saw Crouch fall into the recently used cauldron in one attempt to catch Voldemort's wand. He never reemerged.

"It's a pity Hermione isn't here to see this. I think she would like it."

Just then there was a pop of an apparition and a hand pushed Harry roughly to the ground. Harry gasped and looked up just as Albus (too bloody many middle names) Dumbledore stepped over him and walked toward the place where the remaining Death Eaters were.

"I've finally got here Harry. You wouldn't believe the amount of red tape I'll have to fill out when we get back. Go. Flee. I'll delay Riddle while you make your escape."

'Just what I needed' Harry said as he picked himself up. Voldemort and Dumbledore had seen each other and were circling warily, wands at the ready. Voldemort was about to cast his first spell when something really unexpected happened.

"_Stupefy!"_

There was a shocked look on Dumbledore's face as he stiffened and fell forward on his face. Harry Potter walked forward and took Dumbledore's wand from his grasp and put it in his back pocket.

"Why… why did you do that?" Voldemort was confused.

"You said this was supposed to be a proper duel, right? Let's finish this." Harry turned and walked back to the roadway. Voldemort, Lestrange and Malfoy whispered amongst themselves as they followed the boy.

Harry turned with a bow and struck the ready pose. "Give it your best shot then Tommy Boy!"

Voldemort hated being called Tommy. He threw everything he had into the curse: _"Avada Kedavra!"_

…

….

…..

….

…

Voldemort stared at his wand in disbelief. Bloody Nothing had happened! No green light? No killing curse? Harry 'insufferable' Potter still standing with that weird half-grin on his face. What was going on?

Voldemort tried again. _"Avada Ker.."_

"Enough already" Harry said_. "Expelliarmus!" _

Again his wand was summoned away from him. Voldemort was worried and confused and tried to apparate away. He couldn't. From the looks of the two people left standing next to him, they were in a similar impossibility.

"_Stupefy!"_

Xxxx xxx

When everyone awoke again, they found that they were all snugly tied up and Harry Potter was wearily sitting on a bench and just finishing a bottle of cold butterbeer. Dumbledore could barely find the words to express his astonishment.

"Mr. Potter. Harry, this was quite a surprise indeed. Would you mind untying me so that I can listen to your explanation?"

Harry thought for a couple of moments and shook his head. "Not quite yet headmaster."

There was a number of pops of people apparating into the cemetery and Harry looked up smiling. The first (and second) to reach him from the incoming group were Hermione and Ginny. They buried the boy wizard in hugs and kisses and were only broken off by a person clearing their throat behind him. Harry blushed and stood up a little clumsily. He made a bow to the one person he was happy to see. "Madame Bones, so happy you could join us for the end of the party."

The squad of aurors she had brought with her quickly surrounded the people on the ground. Harry grudgingly allowed Dumbledore to be untied but he held on to the wizard's wand. He stepped up to the old wizard .

"For once, you are going to listen to a full explanation from me sir. No meetings to run off to, no flipping caber match scorecards to total up, no filling out forms in quadruplet ordering forms in quadruplet. For once, you sit and listen!"

Dumbledore opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and just nodded his head. Harry whispered something to Hermione and she was more than glad enough to wave her wand and conjure up some chairs for everyone to sit in. Somehow the one for Harry, her and Ginny was a little small so Hermione just perched herself in Harry's lap. She gave him a quick kiss to the cheek and snuggled into his shoulder.

"So everybody ready? Good. Tom you ready to listen how you were defeated this time?"

"My name is Lord Voldemort."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's Tom Marvolo Riddle. You told me that yourself at the end of my second year. We can check your birth certificate of course if the Ministry of Magic still has it on file."

"I'm not listening to you."

"You don't have a choice in that either. You're bound and totally unable to get away from these fine Aurors that have been searching for you for such a long time. Hi Tonks."

The pink haired auror prodded her aunt Bellatrix in the back with a wand and waved back to Harry.

"So, anyway Tom you were defeated this time because of the brains of the incredibly smart muggle-born witch at my side and my two secret weapons."

"What secret weapons?"

Harry snapped his fingers and two people that Mr. Malfoy especially didn't want to see appeared. One was his former house elf Dobby and the other was Sirius Black. Both were laughing and Sirius couldn't restrain himself from coming over and giving the three people in the double chair a group hug. He ruffled up Harry's hair. "That was the most fun I've had in I don't know how long Harry. Thanks for letting me come along."

"Well I did need some backup in case Hermione's plan went wrong. Luckily it didn't."

Madame Bones broke into the conversation. "So what was the plan? Oh, Lord Black I wanted you to know that Pettigrew made a full confession. You have received a full pardon for the crimes he committed. He was fed to a Hungarian Horntail instead of being thrown through the Veil. The Minister is trying to decide how much of your compensation he can steal before he awards it to you."

"Thank you Amelia. Want to go out on a date after your shift is finished? You and I have a lot of things to catch up on."

Madame Bones snorted and then smiled. "Still ever the horn dog, aren't you. Sure why not."

Sirius turned and flashed a thumbs up to Harry, Hermione, and Ginny and they broke out laughing. Riddle was not so amused. "Would you get on with the tale so we can all get out of here? I find this terminally boring."

Harry nodded his head. "Good choice of words Tom. You and your 'friends' lost because you failed to abide by the terms of the Tournament."

"What terms? And the Tournament was well over before I raised a wand to you."

"Not exactly – on both parts. You never were one to read or obey the rules this time it cost you. Since I was your Designated Sponsor for the Tournament based on being the last of the Potter line, you or 'any of your designated or secondary agents and representatives were forbidden to raise a wand against me or injure me in anyway'. Until the tournament was over."

"And?"

"Let's review the facts Tom. Oh and Dobby and Sirius have been following me around since we left the school so they are witnesses to all the violations."

"One: Barty Crouch Jr., disguised as Professor Moody, stunned me, placed an illegal portkey on me and transported me away from the Hogwarts grounds without permission from my magical Guardian."

Dumbledore spoke up. "I wouldn't have given him permission anyway."

Sirius waved his wand and hit Dumbledore with a Stinging Hex. "You never were his _**Legal **_Magical guardian. I was even when I was in Azkaban. You were asked to be quiet. I won't be nearly so polite the next time."

Dumbledore frowned and looked right at Harry. Harry disregarded him.

"Two: Bellatrix 'Crazy Head' Lestrange kicked me in the head when I arrived at this sorry excuse for a vacation spa. Her and/or Malfoy strung me up like a Charlie Brown kite in a tree and let me hang there for way too long."

"Three: Draco, not really a Malfoy, struck me in the stomach and head."

"You hit him back" Malfoy complained.

"Shut up Nimrod! It was a nonmagical blow. Oh, that's right, you people weren't here for the big fight between Bellatrix and her sister. Come to find out big, bad Lucius Malfoy's real first name is Nimrod."

Everybody stared then laughed at the bound and embarrassed man.

"Narcissa Malfoy hit me with a Petrificus Totalis spell after I gave 'poofiekins' some of what he deserved. She and Draco went away to St. Mungo's and to find a divorce lawyer. And then the real fun started. Crouch Jr. told everyone that the Tournament was over so they really started punishing me.

"What was wrong with that then?" Riddle shouted.

"The Tournament wasn't over; it isn't over yet. Dobby?"

Dobby snapped his fingers and the Tri-Wizard Cup appeared in his hand. He walked over and set it down on the grass in front of Harry's chair. Harry smiled. "Thank you Dobby."

"Dobby is always glad to help the great and wonderful wizard Harry Potter."

Harry turned back to Dumbledore, Madame Bones and Sirius. "I accidentally overheard a conversation a few weeks ago between Crouch and that wizard formally known as Voldemort. They were planning to use my blood for some sort of ritual 'after' the Tri-Wizard cup had been captured from the maze. Hermione, bless her heart, wondered what would happen if we made another cup and substituted it for the real one. The plan went on from there. Nobody realized that after Moody/Crouch placed the real cup in the center of the maze, Dobby just popped in, created a reasonable copy, and came back out with the real one."

"Brilliant" Dumbledore said softly.

"Unbelievable" said Madame Bones.

"A plan worthy of a Marauder" Sirius chortled.

"Oh No!" came from Malfoy and Lestrange.

"I will get you for this Potter" Riddle ground out in anger.

Harry shrugged. "Again I think not. The penalty for so blatantly disregarding the safety of your sponsor Tom is the loss of your magic. Yours and all your followers are all squibs now. Madame Bones, I think Barty Crouch Jr. unfortunately drowned in that big cauldron over there. I believe, if what Sirius said is true, that all the Death Eaters that wore the Dark Mark will have bled to death once the mark released all the magic that Tom put into them."

"I will kill you Potter. I will come back and kill you if it's the last thing I do."

"Remember what I told the other Nimrod earlier? _It must really suck to be you right now_. Sirius?"

Sirius went behind a nearby headstone and retrieved a tray covered with a cloth. He set it down halfway between Dumbledore and Riddle. Riddle began crying when the covering was removed. On the tray were a diary with a couple of holes in it, a ring, a locket, a golden cup and a fancy diadem.

Tom Riddle stared in disbelief. Harry continued to speak. "Imagine my surprise after I stupefied you that last time Tom that these items fell out of the sky around your body. I was so intent at looking at them that I never felt my scar erupt with black slime. Sirius tried burning it down but then it just sort of drifted over to you and settled. That's what he told me anyway, because he and Dobby had to wake me up after I passed out. You placed something in my head Tom, something vile, something you never knew you created. You gave me a part of your soul; it's gone now – all the parts are gone now - back to your plain, ordinary unmagical body!"

Tom Riddle kept shaking his head 'No' but he just …just couldn't believe all his plans and schemes to be immortal had just collapse in his hour of triumph.

Harry smiled at Tom. "You're lucky that I'm not really a vindictive type of person in spite of everything you've made me suffer over the years. I want you to remember that you were defeated by a muggle-born witch and a house-elf; beings you scorned and planned to murder just for being alive. I want you to remember this everyday for the rest of your naturally short.."

There was a fanfare of trumpets and everyone turned wearily to see Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge appear with his complement of Auror guards. "What is going on here? You people are missing the party of parties back at Hogwarts. I've given interviews to I'm not sure how many papers praising Mr. Diggory for being the most successful wizard in the Tournament."

Amelia Bones sighed and stood up. "While you were entertaining, Harry Potter defeated Lord Voldemort, I mean Tom Riddle, again."

"Oh. Okay. That's very good Harry. Very good indeed. We must notify the Prophet of course and have a big trial in front of the World Press and the Wizengamot. Just think of what it will look like – me presenting the Order of Merlin to you for helping me solve the problem of Voldemort."

Hermione and Ginny scrambled quickly out of the chair when they felt Harry begin shaking with rage. They went and hid behind Sirius and Dobby as Harry stood up. The trumpets went first; Harry summoned them and crushed and shredded the musical instruments into golden confetti. The Minister's clothes went next – they were swept away to reveal a Superman t-shirt and a rather large pair of Scooby-Doo Underoos. Even the normally stoic Madame Bones collapsed laughing and leaned on Dumbledore at the sight of her boss hanging upside-down in his skivvies.

A rather emphatic "Stupefy" resulted in the Minister of Magic becoming unconscious for about three days. Long enough for another series of intimate portraits of the Minister to again appear on the magical papers across the world.

Harry received a standing ovation from all the people in the cemetery for his actions in dealing with the highest elected magical official in Britain. When the applause finally died down, Harry turned to Madame Bones. "When he eventually comes to his senses…. strike that. When that pompous, overindulgent, self-promoting arse eventually wakes up would you try to tell him that I never wanted any fame and I certainly am never going to be seen within ten blocks of him ever again."

"So what about us? You just going to chuck us in Azkaban?"

Sirius answered for the group. "Shut up Trixie. You're lower than whale snot and not worth the trouble of killing."

Harry shook his head. "We should do something with them; they shouldn't be hanging around and trying to rabble rouse some more. Let's talk about this."

There was a small group huddle with Dumbledore, Harry, Dobby, Madame Bones and Sirius Black. After about ten minutes the meeting broke up and Madame Bones addressed the three bound hostages. "You have been judged by a jury of magical beings for crimes against the magical races of England. As your punishment, you will be Obliviated to remove all knowledge of the magical world and your names will be struck from all official records. We have decided to give you jobs in the muggle world so you may earn a living, such as it might be. One of the businesses Lord Black has is a shipping company. You are going to be working as steam tenders in one of his older ships. You will shoveling coal for the rest of your lives on a literal 'slow boat to China' and back. No vacations and no pay other than room and board."

Tom protested. "That's inhuman."

"The second most popular idea was turning you over to the goblins" Madame Bones said quietly.

"Obliviate us! Quickly, obliviate us. We'll take the coal shoveling. Don't turn us over to the goblins!"

Ginny got to stun the three this time and the Aurors and Madame Bones apparated back to the Ministry of Magic with their prisoners. Conveniently forgetting Minister Fudge.

Dumbledore turned to his three students, Sirius Black and the little house elf. "That was a most amazing tale and encounter. Well, daylight is coming. Let us return to Hogwarts and let the other Champions and the students know what has happened to Lord Voldemort."

There was another sudden silence and then a single voice spoke up. "No."

"Harry you belong at Hogwarts; it's been your home away from home for many years."

"Again, I say NO."

"Surely you're not turning your back on the finest institution of learning in all of magical England?"

"Don't call me Shirley and why should I go back to a school that is still in the Middle Ages and only teaches the basics of magic? Excuse me while I tell you a few things that have been on my chest about your private, secure and wonderful institution."

"Is there a problem Harry?"

"Don't get me started 'sir'. There's that whole mess with the Dursleys which I'll never forgive you for."

"Harry, I…"

"SHUT UP!" Harry was surprised at the vehement screams from Hermione and Ginny and smiled at them.

"The first year, Hermione was almost killed by a Mountain Troll. Two first years took care of that monster while the 'professional' teachers and you ran around like chickens with their heads cut off. Some protection there. In addition the Defense against Dark Arts teacher was possessed by Voldemort all year. How come you didn't know or take care of that? I had to pull your stones out of the fire with a lot of help by my friends. Why was it a bright idea to bring the Sorcerer's Stone to a school full of children? Don't answer that – I don't want to even try to understand your logic. The goblins still want to talk to you about that by the way."

"The second year was so much better. A defense teacher that was more of a glory-hound than Fudge is. And just about as incompetent as a teacher could possibly be by the way. A monster paralyzing a number of students and did my Head of House or Headmaster do anything to stop the rumors and innuendoes about me? That answer was NO also. Did you stop or find the monster from taking more victims? Nope? Hermione had a semi-permanent kink in her back for half of her third year from being petrified for so long. Did you not think ONCE of sending anyone to a properly stocked Apothecary Shop to get a supply of Mandrake Draught? Merlin, you magical people don't think much for yourselves."

"Ron and I had to go save Ginny because no one else thought to be brave or wise enough to follow the clues to the Chamber of Secrets. Nobody followed up to see if the trauma that any of us endured that day had any long term effects. Why?"

There were waves of magic literally rolling off Harry and the incidental magic was rearranging the cemetery in very interesting ways. The Preservation Committee would find out in the daylight that whole sections of the plots had been moved around and that there was a semi-weird statue of a Unicorn doing battle with a breaching Narwhale just inside the entrance. A fenced family plot had the corner columns rearranged to look like the hind end of four different magical creatures. It was rather distinctive set of sculptures and attracted a lot of visitors to the previously modest space. The admission fees provided for the maintenance of the cemetery for many years.

Dumbledore looked at the sheer amount of magic flowing around him and wisely chose to keep his own council (and bits). Harry was starting to scare him in ways he hadn't even begun to imagine.

"Third year – Dementors! Need I say anything more about that whole fiasco? Lucky for me and everybody else at school we had a decent DADA professor for a change. Remus Lupin. Who you chose not to even try to defend or keep employed at all at the end of the year."

"This year? Another year of threats and... I've had enough of the class warfare, the idiocy of the Ministry of Magic and jolly old England in general."

Dumbledore waited until Harry was securely hugged by the brunette and the redhead before he dared to speak again. "So what are you going to do now Harry? Where will you go?"

"It's none of your business Headmaster Dumbledork but I, Hermione and Ginny have applied and been accepted to the Salem Academy of Magic in the states. We're leaving as soon as we can get packed to go take some remedial summer courses. Our entrance tests put us about a year or two academically behind where American wizards and witches normally are. So much for your finest British education."

Sirius made a portkey and the three students and Dobby disappeared. Lord Black walked up closer to the old wizard. "You've mucked this up royally Albus. Harry and those two girls of his will probably come back in four years to see how things are going here. Heaven help you if there aren't changes in Hogwarts or this magical society you have helped to create. I almost feel sorry for the lot of you. Goodbye. Do not try to find or talk us out of this move."

Lord Sirius Black bowed and then kicked Dumbledore's butt before pushing him to the ground and apparating away laughing.

Dobby popped back in and grabbed up the Tri-Wizard cup. "Master Harry said I must give this to Mr. Diggory as his real prize." Dobby waved his ears at the shaken Headmaster and disappeared again.

Dumbledore slowly got to his feet. He started thinking that maybe Tom Riddle had gotten off easy. He reached into a pocket and popped a lemon twist into his mouth. He spit it out almost immediately as it was covered in some weird lint. Dumbledore started hiking back to Hogwarts. Harry had forgotten to return his wand and he was pretty sure that Fawkes wasn't going to be giving him any magical transports for a while. Just as he passed the fence line to the old cemetery, it began to rain. The wizard just looked up to the heavens. "You too? This just hasn't been my day!"

For the record, Viktor Krum and Fleur Delacour were busy castrating and then reassembling one Professor Snape for what he had done to them when the Dark Mark exploded in Snape's arm – killing him instantly. Viktor was quite insistent about feeding the remains of the Potions Professor to the giant squid but it immediately threw it back on the south beach. The corpse eventually became the home to a whole new colony of flobberworms although they were quite useless when used in any magical potions at the school.

~ Fini~

Thanks to everybody who encouraged me to take a one-shot and expand it into something really bizarre and loopy. I had fun. Hope you readers did too. Captain Compass.


	7. Chapter 7

The Unnecessary Epilogue

Sirius Black was wrong on one account. Harry Potter and his two female companions came back to England after seven years not four. That gave Harry time to receive his Mastery in Defensive Arts, Transfiguration, Technomancy as well as a degrees in Muggle based Political Science and Sports Turf and Lawn Management. Harry was also qualified as a journeyman Farrier and often carried a miniature anvil in his pocket for emergencies.

Hermione Granger Potter returned to England with advanced degrees in Potions, Ancient Runes, Herbology and muggle degrees in Library Sciences, Art History and Gunsmithing. Hermione had finally bowed down to incessant nagging from a certain Scottish witch and was going to become the new Transfiguration teacher at Hogwarts.

The visible reason for the return however was due to the third member of the married trio. Ginny Weasley Potter was traded in the summer from the Portland Pepper Imps of the New England Quidditch League in the United States to the Holyfield Harpies. After leading the combined North American leagues in scoring for two years, many fans on both side of the Atlantic were stunned that a trade of such monumental impact was made without one disagreeing word from the main person involved. Ginny was also interested in finishing her mastery of Runes, Charms and (for her father) Muggle studies. Ginny had creatively applied herself in her off hours and off-seasons and had Muggle degrees in Cartography, Chiropractory and Welding.

The truth of the matter was that the change in locale was initiated at the request of all three members of the Potter family. The wives had tired of the occasional visits from and to their original families and Harry had been turning down offers from Minerva McGonagall since the day she had taken over as Headmistress of Hogwarts. Harry now felt like coming home.

With the conquering and disappearance of the Dark Lord known as Voldemort, Albus Dumbledore found no reason to continue as Leader of the Light and retired to a small hidden cottage on the grounds of St. Andrew's Castle where he took to raising rare and colorful roses. He also developed another hobby and took as many mulligans as he wished while learning to play golf on one of the world's most famous and difficult courses. (Three of the Mulligan family reacted strongly to the repeated kidnappings and got protective orders again someone they actually couldn't remember.)

After greeting the Weasley and Granger families with a huge party on their return, the Potters settled down in the Potter Mansion study for a serious discussion. Remus Lupin, Minerva McGonagall, Amelia Bones Black and Arthur and Molly Weasley joined Sirius Black and the Potters for rounds of snooker, firewhiskey and comparing portfolio sizes.

Harry literally exploded with anger when he found out that Cornelius Fudge had been recently reelected Minister of Magic. Dobby, Ginny and Hermione were busy for a few minutes cleaning the ceiling, repairing broken windows and calming Harry down enough to stop him from returning to the Ministry building and leveling it to the ground. After discussing the deplorable political leadership Harry turned his attention to Headmistress McGonagall. "Please tell me things are going better at Hogwarts?"

"I'm afraid not Harry. The Board of Governor's keeps tightening the purse strings in favor of the older families. Even some have of the more progressive pureblood families have had restrictions placed up on them specifically limiting the number of children that can attend and the courses that are offered to them."

Harry strangely smiled. "Would you be averse to calling an emergency meeting of said stuck-ups tomorrow?"

"No. Should I have Madame Pomfrey standing by with blood replenishing potions and Skele-Grow?"

"Minerva, the rumors of my being a violent person have been greatly exaggerated."

Laughter rang around the study as Harry's wives and Sirius broke up laughing at the calm expression on Harry's face. Minerva McGonagall suddenly thought that making the meeting mandatory for the school's instructors might be a very good idea.

Xxxx xxxxx

The dozen members of the Board of Governors were getting tired of waiting. The headmistress had called for an emergency meeting but only said that future courses at the school were going to be the topic of discussion. They had been waiting in the Great Hall for almost an hour now and only the extended breakfast buffet and crab cake line had kept the mostly old men from leaving to head for their homes and wives. Strangely, the younger members of the Board, such as Neville Longbottom, Susan Bones and Luna Lovegood only partook of some tea and a butterbeer or two as they waited.

It was with some relief that the side door to the Hall finally opened and McGonagall walked in to take her place at the board table. She nodded to the people she was friends with and sat down. That she said nothing finally led the Chairman, one Draco Malfoy, to rap his gavel on the table and demand an answer for the summons.

Headmistress McGonagall stood and looked around at the dozen representatives and her staff and stood up. "I have nothing to say to most of you horribly ignorant people." She sat down but rose again when Draco's voice screamed out that she was about to be fired.

"I think not. By the way, the owner would like to talk to you."

With a loud crash of thunder, the main doors of the Great Hall were flung open and the majority of the governor's chairs disappeared. When those people climbed back to their feet, everyone looked to see a tall, lean but imposing figure stride up the main aisle to come to a bow before Professor McGonagall.

"You! What in Merlin's name do you think you're doing here Potter? You're interrupting an important meeting."

Most of the wizards had no idea what Harry was wearing other than it was a muggle creation. A three-piece tailored acromantula silk suit in dark grey only brought out the fiery green of Harry's eyes. Neville was happy to see that Harry was sporting a tie with the Hogwarts badge prominently displayed while Luna clapped her hands when she saw a crumpled-horn snorack tie-tac that went along with the tie.

"Hey, don't forget about us love." Heads turned again to see two gorgeous women wearing complimenting dresses with hemlines scandalously above their knees walk down the aisle to stand by Harry Potter's side.

Harry gave a wink to the assembled teachers who were all smiling to see Harry, Hermione and Ginny again. Harry however turned his attention back to the Chairman. "Draco, you don't listen any more now to people in authority any more than you did the first day you strutted into this hall like you owned it. Did you not listen to the Headmistress? The owner – me – wants to talk to you. Oh, and by the way, threatening to tell your father or the Minister of Magic doesn't work anymore on me today than it did seven years ago. I have something for you to see."

Harry reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and five wands instantly came out and were pointed at him. Harry stared at the other governor's and shook his head. "You people are just a little bit edgy today, aren't you?"

Harry pulled out a folded piece of paper and threw it on the table in front of Draco Malfoy. "You still do know how to read, right Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco sneered at Harry as he opened the paper. "This is obviously a forgery." Draco cast a fire spell on the piece of paper and the flames appeared but the paper refused to burn.

"Funny thing about that. When you register a deed with both the Ministry of Magic and Gringotts, it turns more or less impervious to damaging spells."

"What does the blasted thing say?" came the question from the man next to where Draco stood in shock. Draco refused to say anything but Ginny boldly walked up past Draco, picked it up and passed it to him. The wizard looked at it and swore!

Hermione Granger Potter spoke. "Language, language. Mr. Yaxley Jr., isn't it? The paper is the deed to Hogwarts School. It states that it belongs totally and completely to one Lord Harry Potter. As heir to all four founders, Harry's owns it lock, stock, barrel, ghosts and desks."

"That is impossible." Draco had finally found his voice. "The Last Heir of Slytherin was…"

"A self-delusional wizard who was born Tom Marvolo Riddle but called himself Lord Voldemort." Harry stepped forward and held his fist up in Draco Malfoy's face. Draco's visage went red and then white as he saw four very familiar rings adorning Harry's right hand. All four House badges were there on display.

Draco screamed and pointed his wand at Harry as did the four others. Harry knocked Draco's hand aside, took his wand, snapped it and then backhanded the slim wizard across the face in one smooth and unbelievably fast motion. Meanwhile Ginny and Hermione had silently summoned the other four threatening wands before anyone else could utter a spell.

The corner of Draco's mouth was bleeding as he recovered from the blow. "You'll pay for that Potter."

"I think not. Mrs. Black?"

A team of 6 aurors followed the head of the DMLE into the hall. "You called Lord Potter?"

"Yes Amelia. You were just a witness to an assault on the head of an Ancient and Noble House. Would you remind this idiot what the punishment is for that offence?"

Amelia smiled and Draco had a very bad feeling when he saw it. "Twenty five years in Azkaban for each offence. Since you have compounded the infraction by assaulting the head of six such houses…"

"Six?" Draco repeated a little weakly.

"You have no sense of history Mr. Malfoy. It's a wonder you graduated from here. Lord Potter holds the four House seats, his own and that of the house of Pendragon. I imagine your sentence will at least be two hundred and forty years by the time the Wizengamot gets through with you."

"The Minister will never allow that to happen to me."

A new, very deep voice joined the conversation. "The idiot is probably right Lord Potter. His vault transfers lot of galleons to Minister Fudge's on a regular basis. Maybe the goblins should deal with this coward; he has pulled a wand on a member of the Goblin Council after all."

Draco's jaw dropped as a full squadron of goblins in battle armor walked up to Harry Potter and saluted him. Harry bowed in return and then stepped forward to clasp hands with the leader.

"Greetings Ragnorak. I'm sorry you had to be rousted out for this… human."

Ragnorak roared in laughter – a sound not unlike a rusty hinged door swinging freely for the first time. "It is in our treaty for mutual defense friend Harry. The minute he pulled a wand on you, he committed a capital offence."

"Capital?" Draco repeated as a stain appeared on the front of his trousers.

"Well, I'll let you and Mrs. Black argue about who gets to try him first. I have some more business to conduct here before I leave. I shall be at Gringotts again this afternoon to revue my accounts."

"As you wish Lord Potter. We will take our leave now." The goblins bowed again and Draco Malfoy was both speechless and motionless as he was bound by a good number of goblin chains and Auror mufflers. The rest of the board of governors could only stare as Draco floated out of the main hall between the Aurors and the goblins.

Harry turned back to the rest of the board members. "In case you haven't understood the message yet, your services are no longer required. You are all fired and should leave the grounds immediately before I have you removed by force. This banishment does not apply to the other members of the board that I went to school with. Neville, Luna and Susan. You three and the teachers and I have a lot of work to do before school opens in the fall."

One of Draco's supporters finally found his backbone. "You can't do come in and do this. The Charter says…"

"The Charter says that the Board of Governors will serve in the place of the founders to best govern the school and promote the education of the magical children of England. That has not been done and I am the heir of Salazar Slytherin, Helga Hufflepuff, Rowena Ravenclaw and Godric Gryffindor. Now would be the time to issue a formal challenge to my authority or challenge me to a wizard's duel. But I think you have more urgent matters to attend to."

"What could be more urgent that this travesty… Urgggh!" The man that had started to speak suddenly bent over and grabbed at his stomach in obvious distress.

"The Muggles that you casually ridicule and put down as inferior have created an amazing number of useful things that would make the magical world a lot more convenient. You have been unknowingly sampling one of their more unique problem solvers."

"What?" asked another board member as he lurched to his feet with a bleak expression on his face.

"My lovely wives thought you might be unwilling to listen to reason or leave after being told to do so. So I've had the school elves mix in a very strong laxative into the petit fours, crab cakes, and licorice whips you have been snacking on. They should be taking effect any second now…"

The rest of the remaining board members that had been munching on the buffet line got to their feet and quickly headed for the doors. Harry called out after their retreating forms. "By the way, all the toilets on this floor have been converted to pay–as-you-go for today; you'll need to deposit a galleon apiece just to enter. I thought it was time you actually contributed something worthwhile to the upkeep of the school."

Screams of embarrassment and hurled threats were soon the only evidence that there had been board members in the hall. Harry went over and kissed Ginny. "That was excellent. Remind me to send a thank you card to Fred and George for their 'Deviled Food' flavorings."

Ginny laughed, pushed Harry away and went over to give Hagrid a hug. Hermione had conjured up a thick briefcase and opened it on the table. She started handling out pamphlets to the teachers and the ex-board members. Harry came up and threw an arm around Hermione's shoulders as he explained what was in the handouts.

"Things are going to change rapidly around here. For starters, the tuition from students is going to go directly to the Hogwarts vault instead of the Ministry. We are hiring five more teachers for new subjects that actually mean something in the 20th century and not just the ones that were used in the 17th. Business and Accounting, Technomancy, Magical and Muggle Law preparation, International and Interspecies Relations and… Oh, what was the last Hermione?"

"Mind Magics!"

"Of course, I would forget that one. We will also be developing apprenticeships with the businesses in Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley for those people that want to learn a trade rather than a professional career. In other words, we are transforming this institution into something that serves the individual student and our backward society."

"That is all well and good Harry.. Lord Potter" Professor Flitwick said. "But the Ministry will never agree to any of this."

"Good morning Filius and I know that the combined Ministry might object to what we are planning but they don't have to agree to anything. This is private property and a private school. Those that don't like the changes can send their children to other magical schools; however, I do believe that they will soon find out that transferring from Hogwarts might not be so simple. I have seen the entrance exams from other schools in the States and a few other places around the world and I do believe that only a portion of our current sixth and seventh year students might pass them."

Headmistress McGonagall took the sudden silence to stand. "For all those present, I wish to make new staff announcements at this time. Neville Longbottom will be the new Professor of Herbology as Professor Sprout eases into her retirement. Luna Lovegood will become an assistant Professor of Astronomy and Magical Augury. Susan Bones-Longbottom will be the coordinator of the Student Liaison Office."

There was a lot of applause, hugs and handshaking directed at the three ex-students.

The headmistress held up her hands to quiet the noise. "I have not quite finished yet. Mrs. Ginny Potter will be taking over the duties of Madam Hooch as she is leaving to go coach the Chudley Cannons. Mrs. Hermione Potter will be taking over as Professor of Transfiguration and her husband will be taking over the reins of Defensive Studies."

The old and new professors crowded around the Potter family and wished them congratulations and welcomes. Harry smiled at all the greetings and well wishes but held up his hand. "I have one last tidbit to throw out to let you know how much trouble we're about to get into. With Minerva's permission, we are opening the doors to all magical children who want an education. Goblins, centaurs, house elves, children of werefolk will all be welcome if they want to come and learn."

"That might bring the Ministry right down on your head Harry."

"I know Neville but that is a problem for another day. Let's look at the plans and see how many additional classrooms were going to have to open and reclaim from the abandoned sections of the school."

The new staff of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry started looking over the elaborate schedule that the three Potters had drawn up.

Xxxx xxxx

It had been four days since Lord Harry Potter had walked into Hogwarts and thrown the Board of Governors and the Magical World of Great Britain into turmoil. The full Wizengamot was now about to meet in an effort to decide how to deal with it.

Minister Fudge had gone into great detail explaining to the Chief Wizard his plan and the laws he wanted passed to strip Lord Potter of his titles and his claim to Hogwarts. The Chief Wizard pointed out that he might be inciting a civil war and that the "Man-Who-Conquered" was not without his own support and powers.

Minister Fudge could not be dissuaded. "He is but one wizard and a potential threat to this Ministry and our way of life. Once we declare him rogue he will lose support and we can toss him into Azkaban where he belongs."

"He may threaten to leave our country and take all his wealth with him. That sort of financial loss will undoubtedly wreck our economy. You really should be very careful Cornelius."

The Minister shook his head. "He wouldn't dare even contemplate an idea like that. He would be hurting his own extended family. Are you sure you don't want to act as an intermediary between us and Potter, Arthur?"

Arthur Weasley, a surprisingly effective and well-liked compromise for the high office, shook his head and then went to the Chief Wizard's podium. He banged his gavel a couple of times to stop the conversations in the room and then made the announcement that the meeting of the Wizengamot was open.

"The reason and first order of business before us today is a series of proposals that the Minister of Magic…"

"Excuse me. Point of order Chief Wizard."

All eyes turned to see Lord Harry Potter standing at the top of the aisle above the members of the Wizengamot. He was wearing formal dress robes that seemed to shimmer in the glare of the lights and the Potter family crest was prominently displayed over his left chest. He swept his head around and seemed to look every member of the body directly in the eyes. A few of the collected wizards and witches had a cold chill run down their spines as Harry seemed to evaluate everyone with a glance.

The mere presence of Harry Potter seemed to enrage Cornelius Waldo 'Gumdrop' Fudge. He stood and pointed at the wizard and yelled with an almost girlishly shrill voice. "Arrest that Criminal!"

Harry shook his head sadly and addressed the highest elected magical official in the land. "Didn't your mother ever tell you that it was rude to point? I don't think you have any basis or reason for having me arrested. Unless you have personally observed me jaywalking, tearing the tags off my mattresses or driving hippogriffs through Diagon Alley without a permit, I'm pretty sure that the Aurors can't arrest anyone who is a member of the Wizengamot while it is in session."

"You are NOT a member of the Wizengamot!" Fudge screamed out in frustration.

"That is exactly my point of order then. Chief Wizard Weasley I have a question."

"You may ask it Har.. Lord Potter."

Minister Fudge's face had turned an ugly shade of purple and Harry thought it would save a lot of time if the present Minister of Magic actually had a heart attack and removed himself from office.

"According to what I know of the rules of protocol for this august body, Section 19, Article 2, paragraph 3 states that any claims of assuming a family seat must be given precedence over the start of any old or new business of the Wizengamot. Does that rule still stand?"

Chief Wizard Weasley leafed through his copy of 'A Dummies Guide for Running the Wizengamot' for a minute and then looked up. "You are correct Lord Potter. Do you wish to make a claim on the Potter family seat now?"

Minister Fudge had resorted to banging his head on the desk he was sitting at. He was watching and listening to that 'criminal' become legitimized before he could have him proclaimed a rogue. It was infuriating but Fudge still had the votes to get Potter ostracized and removed from Hogwarts.

Harry looked around the room again before speaking. "I wish to claim all the family seats that I am entitled to."

There was a loud buzz that ran through the members "All? What All?'

Arthur Weasley smiled up at his son-in-law. "You may proceed then Lord Potter. Are you claiming the family title for the Potters first?"

There was a small smile on Harry's face. "I claim both House Potter and House Gryffindor for myself. I hereby appoint the following people to represent me for the following Houses:

"For House Hufflepuff, I appoint Mrs. Ginevra Weasley Potter." Ginny stepped up beside Harry and the crest for Hufflepuff appeared beside that of her Potter crest. She waved to her father who was trying to hide a very wide grin.

Harry continued. "For House Ravenclaw, I appoint Mrs. Hermione Granger Potter." There was a loud protest from certain sections of the gallery and the members of the group. Questions about muggleborn overrode the few voices that said 'mudblood'. Harry frowned and a roll of thunder suddenly went around the room. "As the head of an Ancient and Noble House, I have the right to name anyone I desire as my representative."

Chief Wizard Weasley banged his gavel and called for order. "Lord Gryffindor is correct. You may only protest this by issuing a direct House challenge to a duel."

"Thank you Chief Wizard. For Slytherin House, I, Lord Potter, do appoint Ragnorak Foeslayer."

A goblin clothed in wizarding robes appeared before the Chief Wizard's podium. He bowed to Lord Potter and then to Arthur Weasley. Once Arthur had recovered from this surprise, he banged on his gavel futilely. Harry pointed his wand at his throat and cast a sonorous charm. "Hold everyone! Unless you wish to open hostilities and declare war on the goblin nation, you will stand down. I have a personal treaty with the goblins. As my representative, Ragnorak will vote to support my position. If you challenge anyone, you will challenge me. Are there any takers? No? Then I will continue."

"For Pendragon House, I appoint an ally that has stood by me since my second year at Hogwarts and been a true and steadfast friend. I appoint Squire Dobby Friendelf."

There was another roar of surprise and anger as a strangely dressed House elf appeared out of thin air next to Lord Potter. His dress robe was open and the people close to the elf could see he had white jeans, red sneakers and a English flag t-shirt that read "Property of Potter's House of Pancakes and Dark Lord Extermination".

"Where should I go High Wizard Harry?"

"Just pick any open seat Dobby. Try to make some new friends."

"Whatever you say Boss." Dobby hopped down three steps and then made his way by and through six dumbstruck wizards to the first empty seat. "Excuse me, pardon me, was that your foot? Dobby is very sorry. Do you know Great Wizard Harry Potter? He freed me from cruel Masters."

Minister Fudge was trembling in anger. 'How dare this sorry excuse for a proper wizard appoint inferior creatures to the Ministry!' Cornelius tried to keep his voice steady as he rose to his feet. "Now that that is finished we can get to the new business Chief Wizard."

"Objection."

Fudge turned his eyes back to a standing member. Arthur spoke over the Minister's objections. "The Chair recognizes Lady… Ravenclaw?"

"Thank you Chief Wizard Weasley. The Minister has no legal standing here except as an observer for these proceedings. I also do not think Lord Potter was finished with his claims."

"Thank you for your observations, Lady Ravenclaw. Minister Fudge, I remind you that only standing members of the Wizengamot can bring forth new business. Lord Potter, do you have other seats you wish to claim at this time?"

"Yes I do."

"Are you going to waste the whole day with these worthless seats?" came the complaint from a wizard a dozen seats away from where Harry Potter stood.

"Mr. Yaxley Jr. Again. I do not think these seats or my time are worthless. I have only made appointments for the Ancient and Noble Houses so far. I still have the Noble Houses that I can claim and the other subservient Houses that still hold an absent but valid seat here."

Minister Fudge had dropped his head to his hands. At this rate, they would be here for the whole afternoon before he could get his plan for justice going against Harry "bleeping' Potter.

Chief Wizard Weasley scratched his head in thought. "Perhaps for the sake of saving time, you could submit a list of appointees and they could take their proper seats at our next meeting."

"Yes, that might be best as I understand it. I would beg the Wizengamot's indulgence to make one more appointment before we turn to proper business."

"Are there any objections to Lord Potter's proposal? A show of hands please for those objecting? Very well Lord Potter, the majority seems to be waiting for you last appointment for today."

"For the Noble House of Molar, I appoint Dr. Farley Granger." Harry snapped his fingers and a…. muggle appeared by Harry's side.

"I challenge the appointee to a House Duel of Supremacy." There was a gasp as Florence Yaxley jumped to his feet. "I will not stand by and watch our government contaminated by a muggle." Harry was about to respond to the challenge but Farley laid a hand on his forearm and whispered in his ear. Harry stared at the man for a couple of seconds and then gave a grudging nod.

"Mr. Granger accepts on the condition of holding the duel here and now." There was a new buzz that ran through the room as Yaxley and Granger moved slowly down to the main floor. Harry followed Dr. Granger down to the main floor while he explained the rules of a wizard's duel to him.

The combatants finally stood face to face across thirty feet of floor. Arthur Weasley stepped down to referee the duel. "I make one last appeal to each gentleman to quit this course of action. Do you wish to stop this?"

Neither man replied and Arthur sighed and looked at the pair. "Then let the duel commence. Gentlemen bow. En garde! On the count of three then.

"One."

"Two."

"Three!"

Yaxley raised his arm to cast a disemboweling curse at the mere muggle scum. In return, Farley Granger ducked slightly and pulled a piece of metal from the small of his back. As Florence began to chant, there came two loud reports in the hall. The wizards and witches were aghast to see a hole and spurting blood suddenly appear in Yaxley's wand hand and then at his knee. The wizard screamed in pain and fell to the ground. The muggle, Dr. Granger, walked over and picked up the dropped wand as Yaxley continued to try stemming the two bleeding wounds.

Farley looked at the wand in his hand and then turned to the Chief Wizard. "I hope I do not have to kill this man to end the duel."

"No, the duel is over and you have taken over as the head of the House of Yaxley. All properties, privileges, assets and liabilities are now yours Mr. Granger. Congratulations."

"Would somebody take this man and get him healed?" Arthur Weasley nodded and two aurors came forward to lift Yaxley up and get him out of the room.

"Mr. Granger now holds two voting seats as a result of the House Supremacy duel." Mr. Weasley returned to the Chief Wizard podium in absolute silence, and Harry walked back up the stairs with his other father-in-law. Lady Ravenclaw, his daughter, was waiting for him on the steps. She hugged him briefly and smiled up at him. "I guess no wizard has ever faced somebody that is ex-SAS. You're still pretty accurate with that Walther PPK Dad."

"Thanks princess, but my first shot was supposed to hit his shoulder. Oh well, I think we should get back to our seats so your husband can start his revolution."

Hermione giggled and kissed her father. "Come sit with me Dad. This ought to be fun."

Arthur Weasley pounded on his gavel again. "I hope that concludes Lord Potter's business today. Let me warn the other members that Dr. Granger was well within his rights to defend himself against a magic user and that any reprisals aimed at him will be dealt with most severely by Lord Gryffindor."

None of the remaining members of the Wizengamot wanted to face the wizard that had eliminated Voldemort. The man who had sat next to Yaxley bravely stood and started to speak. "The Minister of Magic has made some proposals that I wish to introduce into law."

"Objection. Point of Precedence your wizardness."

All eyes turned back to look at Lord Harry Potter-Gryffindor-Hufflepuff-Ravenclaw-Slytherin,e tc,etc. Arthur banged his gavel again until everyone had quieted down. "Yes, Lord Potter?"

"A matter of government security takes precedence over any new business."

"What matter of government security?" a raging Fudge screamed at the wizard.

"I wish to call for a vote of no confidence on the present Minister of Magic. His actions and inactions have resulted in a stagnation of Magical England and the policies and attitudes he represents have endangered us all to be invaded by the members of the ICW."

Arthur beat his gavel into pieces banging it on his podium. He gave up trying to restore order and looked to his son-in-law with shrugged shoulders. Harry looked at the general chaos going around him and cast a silencing spell on all the members of the Wizengamot. All the wizards and witches wearing the plum-colored robes became silent, magically and personally, when they found they couldn't talk or complain.

Arthur repaired his gavel and pounded on the podium sharply. He released the silencing spell and calmly made the announcement. "A vote of no confidence has been called for and will now be voted on."

Cornelius Fudge started wondering at this point if he could charge or write off his moving expenses to Lord Potter as he was the one making all this trouble. He looked around at the 50, no 49 people and hoped he had enough votes to remain in office.

"Those voting for Minister Fudge will signify by raising their hands." Cornelius counted about 32 people voting to keep him as Minister and sighed in relief.

"Those opposed?" The rest of the voters and the new seated ones including Lord Potter-Gryffindor came to 24 and Cornelius started to smile. It might take some time but he would eventually exact some revenge on what Harry Potter had done today.

Said Harry Potter stood when the buzz had subsided. "Lord Potter you wished to add something?" the Chief Wizard asked.

Harry smiled. "I wish to cast the other 49 votes and seats I hold in abstentia against Cornelius Fudge."

Two aurors carried the struggling crying man out of the hall to the embarrassment of all the representatives to the old traditional pureblood families. Arthur looked at his gavel carefully and wondered if it would survive the day.

"Our next order of business is to take nominations for the next Minister of Magic."

"I nominate the absent Draco Malfoy" came from one of the wizards in a higher seat.

There was laughter that came from two new members. Lady Hufflepuff raised her hand. "I believe he's otherwise engage for the next two hundred and fifty years."

"Are there any other serious nominations?"

"Lord Potter perhaps?" came from Squire Dobby.

Harry rose. "Thank you Dobby but I have other interest than governing the magical world. I think that job should go to a person who has some patience, a non-traditional perspective and a willingness to boldly go where no one has gone before."

"Sounds like Captain Kirk" Neville said quietly to his wife Susan up in the spectator seats.

"Who?" asked Susan.

"I'll explain later dear. I think Harry will be holding a celebration dinner later at Potter Manor.

The two turned their attention back to the standing speaker. "I and all the Houses and seats I represent nominate for the next Minister of Magic – Lord Sirius Black. Merlin help us all!"

Xxxx xxxx

Sirius Black was elected and became a force for change in the world of Magical England. With support from his friends and family, Lord Black made changes that removed the prejudices and stagnation and magical England was dragged into the 20th century.

Harry Potter?

Lord Potter eventually became Headmaster of Hogwarts and the children from all the magical races learned that pranks were always played by the headmaster at every Welcoming feast. The only ones really prepared for that were the six children that Harry sired by Ginny and Hermione.

Hermione succeeded Sirius Black as Minister of Magic and split her time between the Ministry and Hogwarts as Deputy Headmistress.

Ginny took over as Charms Professor with the retirement of Filius Flitwick. She, Harry, and Hermione often engaged in prank wars in the corridors and Great Hall to the delight of all the students. Hogwarts gained a reputation as not only the most progressive school in Europe but the one that had the longest list of applying students.

So mote it was and so mote it be!

xxxx

(Author's Note. I had part of this sitting around in a dusty part of my computer and decided to finish it off while I was working on other chapters. It could be read alone but I decided it properly went with the Fourth Champion. Hope you liked it. CC)


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